Jan 30, 2012

{5 more blogging tips from a non-expert}

A while back, I wrote a post detailing five little nuggets of advice I've learned over the last three years. It was pretty basic and to the point, but isn't the best advice always the simplest?

Here are five more blogging tips direct from me to you - I hope they help!

#1 Make it easy for others to share your blog.
Blogger, as a platform, has come a long way in just the three short years I've been hosting my site here. We now have the option to embed comments (which is a wonderful way to interact with your readers and reply directly to those who comment on your posts) and we also have the option to include the "share" bar at the bottom of each post. Make sure you have this setting enabled to allow readers to share your blog, or specific post, on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and more. This will increase your chances of getting your blog out there to audiences you might never have reached previously!

#2 Support another blog and your own blog by buying ad space. 
There are a lot of great blogs out there who feature monthly ads and sponsors. A great way to increase traffic and reach a broader network is to buy an ad space on a blog you love. Don't look at the other blog's traffic rates or any of that other technical mumbo jumbo. Just choose another blog that fits your style and go for it! Like turns to like, so keep that in mind when choosing which blog you want to advertise on or sponsor. (PS learn the differences between advertise and sponsor before you dive in!)

#3 Host giveaways, include guest bloggers and be a guest blogger yourself.
This one can be tweaked totally to your style. I love to feature other bloggers here on mommaruthsays, as a way to meet other people and highlight bloggers I admire. It's also a great way to send your readers to a new site and gain readers from other sites, kind of like a friend swap! You can feature a great Etsy store on your blog with a giveaway, buy something from Target for your readers, or even make something DIY and host a giveaway for it. Giving back to your readers is always a great thing to do! (Make sure you establish rules for giveaways, such as time-frames, how the winners will be chosen who's allowed to participate, etc. - if you host a sponsored giveaway, make sure you follow up on disclosure rules and regulations). Another great thing to do is be a guest blogger for someone else; if another blogger wants to feature you, I say be bold and seize the day! Even if it's just a silly poem or questionairre, it's good to support a fellow blogger out there.

#4 Be present in your online persona.
I'm the world's worst at getting caught up in the new and flashy sites out there. The internet has so many social sites to offer, sometimes it's hard to choose just one or two. If you're the kind of person that can multitask and manage several sites at once, then by all means go for it! But, if you're like me and you don't have the time (or headspace) to keep all those sites current and fresh, it's better to stick to one or two sites. Personally, I'm working hard to make my presence known on Twitter again. I used to be a regular Twitter fool, and I let that slip away from me. Now that I'm back and working hard to establish myself again, I find my interaction levels are up, readership is up and I feel connected again to an outside source of information and community. I also try to regularly update my Flickr page with photos and, of course, my blog. Other sites like Tumblr, Polyvore, and Bloglovin have fallen by the wayside for me. Choose what works best for you and your site and maintain the ones you really love!

#5 Don't forget to be authentic - just be yourself!
There's so much pressure to be a big number these days, it's easy to forget the little things that making blogging so fun. All four of the bullets above are aimed at creating an audience and nurturing those readers, but I want you to remember that you shouldn't blog just for those who read your blog - you should blog for YOU! Whenever I'm feeling bummed out about the lack of readers I have on my sidebar or my daily stats, I remind myself: that's not what this is about. This is about documenting my life and creating a space for myself to remember. It's human nature to feel jealous that other people have big, fancy blogs with 1000 comments per post and featured ads for national retailers - of course, who wouldn't be jealous of all that? But you have to remember, those people started out just like you and me. They were once a small fish in a big pond trying to make a name for themselves. I hope now that they're big fish, they haven't forgotten what it was like to be just starting out. Just remember to be true to yourself; at the end of the day, your opinion of your blog is the only one that really matters.


Jan 27, 2012

come here, go there: link love


{Don't forget to enter the Blog Birthday Giveaway.....do it NOW!}


Other noteworthy stories:




  • And of course, I have to include this little video of our president singing Al Green...you know, just because. 

Jan 26, 2012

for my firstborn

My favorite picture ever of Sidney sleeping, whens she was a little over 1 1/2 years old. 


I feel so sorry for my big girl sometimes - there are days when she gets the short end of the stick from me, and it's not fair to her. I have too much on my plate, too many demands that have to be met first, before I can play with her or cuddle with her or read to her. I try to squeeze in those precious little moments with her as much as possible, but I have to be honest and admit that sometimes these moments just slip by.

The other night, after I put her down for bed, she called out to me and wanted me to come cuddle with her. I was just trying to get Rhealen down to sleep and by the time I got the little girl in bed, the big one had already fallen asleep. I felt so bad for her - all she wanted from me was a little cuddle and I couldn't get done with my "have to" list in order to make her "want to" list a reality.

I climbed in bed beside her and immediately began to cry.

Normally these kind of things don't get to me; I'm realistic and I know that things like this happen. I can't be everywhere all the time. And I make it a priority to have plenty of one-on-one time with her; it's just that usually I have more one-on-one time with Rhealen by default. And it isn't fair to Sidney, even if those are the circumstances that are, to an extent, out of my hand right now.

I put my arm around her, felt her chest rise and fall, and just stared at that perfect little round face - the same face I first looked at over four years ago. And I felt so guilty - guilty that she's here with me and I'm here with her. And that night, and every other night, there are children going to sleep without an arm around them. And there are women and men falling to sleep without babies to fill their own arms.

And I've never done anything in my life to deserve these girls.

Yet here they are, and they're mine. And I love them more than words can ever describe. I get so caught up in the everyday grind, the day in/day out of our lives that I miss so many little moments. I miss my own love for them, so much sometimes that it hits me all at once and I can't help but feel everything for them all at once. My heart is so full, it hurts. Literally, hurts.

I am so blessed, so lucky, so grateful, so in love. I hope they both feel that love when I can't give them more of me, most of me, all of me.

Jan 25, 2012

surviving the haircut

Mother of god.

I hate taking Sidney to get her haircut. Hate it. Hate it so freaking bad, I swear to myself as we leave the salon that I'm never taking her back again. I usually tip the stylist extra because I'm so embarrassed and aggravated.

I do everything in the book to hype Sidney up about getting her haircut - we talk about how awesome it is, how much fun it'll be, what toy she can buy afterwards if she does a good job, etc etc etc. It doesn't matter. No matter how much I try to make this process enjoyable and rewarding, she still pitches the biggest fit you ever saw.

Snot. Tears. Hyperventilating. The works.

No amount of coddling will do, no amount of grit will do. I can be sweet. I can be mean. It doesn't matter to her, she still flies off the handle and goes crazy.


I know she looks all sweet and excited here, but this is before they even touched her. From the moment that brush touched her head, she was crying.

I can't figure out how to get through a successful haircut where she's not acting like the spawn of Satan. I know she's tender-headed and I know she hates to have her hair brushed, but DAMN! She's got to get her haircut, even if it's only two or three times a year. At least trimmed, if nothing else.

How am I supposed to get to that wonderful point? When will the day come where I'm not embarrassed to death to be seen in public with this screaming child at the salon? If she didn't have such lovely curls, I'd be tempted to cut it up to her ears and be done with it.

Next time she needs a haircut, I'm sending her Daddy to take her - maybe then he'll be the one to straighten her out. If not, I'm determined to just let her grow dreadlocks down to her knees before I go through that again.

Oy vey.


{PS Don't forget to enter the Blog Birthday Giveaway - you can enter once per day, every day, 'til Jan. 31st! GO HERE!}

Jan 24, 2012

Blog Birthday Giveaway!

To celebrate three years of blogging, I've partnered with the always sweet C & M of windshield diaries - they're offering $30 to spend in their Etsy shop, CApow! specializing in map art, illustration and photography prints.

Here are some of my absolute favorites:

The Lovers The Dreamers and Me Custom 8x10 Art Print Poster $15.00
Chuck Taylor Converse Black and White 8x8 TtV photo print $30.00
love you virginia beach custom candy heart map art 5x5 ttv photo print $15.00
I Love Tennessee - 8x10 typography map art print $25.00

Be sure to check out the CAPow! etsy store - you can also find them on Twitter, Facebook and, of course, at their personal blog windshield diaries


To enter and win, simply visit the CAPow! etsy store above and leave a comment here letting me know which print you'd choose if you won! It's that easy! The giveaway will run 'til January 31st, 2012 - I will announce the winner via random.org on February 1st! 

You can enter once per day, open to all US residents only. Winner will be responsible for getting in contact with the sponsor to claim prize. 

Good luck, and Happy Birthday, blog! 


Jan 23, 2012

Happy Birthday, Blog!

Today marks three years of blogging here at mommaruthsays for me -- and it's been an incredible three years, to say the least!

Below is part of a post I wrote for last year's blog anniversary:

By the time my third blog anniversary rolls around all of the following things should be true:

-I will have graduated (finally!) and have my Bachelor's in Human Services & Counseling.
-I will have a four-year-old and a seven-month-old.
-I will have been married to Justin for two years.
-I will have been with Justin for eight years.
-I will be twenty-three (I think, I always forget how old I really am).
-I will still be blissfully happy and hopelessly busy. 

And I'm proud to say all of the above is blessedly true! I did graduate. I do have a four-year-old and a seven-month-old. I have been married to Justin for two years, with him for eight. I am twenty-three. And I am happy as ever and busy as always! 


Thank you, so much, for all you out there still following along with me. To any new readers, welcome. I feel so lucky to have this space of mine. It's a constant reminder of the good and the bad and the wonderful journey in between. 






{Be sure to come by tomorrow for a sweet little giveaway I'm having in honor of the blog birthday!}

music memory lane: 1994-99

Talking about music before got me to thinking: there are times when I'm kind of ashamed to admit I grew up in the NSYNC/Britney Spears era. That was the rage in middle school, I remember being in love with it all - the cheese, the boy bands, the bubblegum pop.

But I also developed my love for other music outside of just pop music. I've always been an eclectic music lover. I have my awesome parents to thank for that; they introduced me to AC/DC, Meatloaf, The Eagles, KC and the Sunshine Band, Elton John, The Bangles, and an entire slew more of music legends. We listened to it all: rock, country, pop, you name it. They took me to concerts and gave me the freedom to explore music on my own. So, thanks Mom and Dad, for that. You rock.

While in the midst of my "growing up" back in the 90s and early 00s, I got the chance to listen to some amazing music, and I don't want you to think I'm a carbon copy 90s kid who never got to experience "real" music. Though if you ask me, it's all real. I love Van Morrison just as much as I love S Club 7. I love BBMak the same way I love the Beatles. I'm an equal opportunity music lover. But here, I'm listing some of favorite music (and music videos) from my childhood.

God bless VH1 - and please bring back the original Pop-Up videos!

1993 (I was five, by the way)
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Last Dance with Mary Jane


Ace of Base - All That She Wants, The Cranberries - Linger, Aerosmith - Crazy, Sheryl Crow - All I Wanna Do, Mariah Carey - Dreamlover, Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't do That), Melissa Ethridge - Come to My Window, Salt N Pepa - Whatta Man

1994
Green Day - When I Come Around, Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun, Live - All Over You, Hootie & the Blowfish - Hold My Hand, Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love to You, The Eagles - Hotel California


1995
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine, Jewel - You Were Meant for Me, Collective Soul - The World I Know, Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It, Selena - Dreaming of You, Faith Hill - Someone Else's Dream, Lisa Loeb - Stay (I Missed You)


1996
Celine Dion - It's All Coming Back to Me Now


Hanson - MMMBop, The Verve Pipe - The Freshman, Backstreet Boys - I'll Never Break Your Heart, The Wallflowers - Headlight, Toni Braxton - Unbreak My Heart, LeAnn Rimes - One Way Ticket, Marilyn Manson - The Beautiful People

1997
Spice Girls - Wannabe, Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy, Savage Garden - Truly, Madly, Deeply, Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life, Meredith Brooks - Bitch, Puff Daddy - I'll Be Missing You, Sugar Ray - Fly


1998
Dixie Chicks - You Were Mine, Train - Meet Virginia, Madonna - Ray of Light, NSYNC - I Want You Back, Terri Clark - You're Easy on the Eyes, Ace of Base - Cruel Summer, Kid Rock - Cowboy, Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon, Brandy - The Boy is Mine


1999
Britney Spears - Baby One More Time, TLC - Unpretty, Blackstreet - Take Me There, Ricky Martin - Livin La Vida Loca, Blink-182 - What's My Age Again?, Jennifer Lopez - If You Had My Love, Smashmouth - All Star, Edwin McCain - I Could Not Ask for More, Santana - Smooth


I love taking a look back through the years at music; there's a lot of memories up there for me. Love, loss, heartbreak, friends, summers, life being lived. I'm a huge music junkie, we could talk about music all day and I'd be happy!

Come back next time and we can reminisce about the 00s!

Jan 22, 2012

for the first time in my life, I felt my age and then some

Saturday I took Sidney to see "Beauty & the Beast 3D" which led me to discover two startling truths:

1) 3D movies are the biggest ripoff of our time
2) Damn, I'm getting old.

I remember watching this same movie when it first came out, way back when I was a kid. Most of the time I feel pretty young for my age (which I have to think on and remember most of the time) and I enjoy the perks of being a young mom. It's been nice being in the younger bracket and I don't feel matronly, not that feeling matronly is a bad thing, it's just not a feeling I'm familiar with.

There have been several moments over the past year that have made me pause and think back on my own childhood; Sidney loves to play dress-up in all my old recital outfits, she loves to look through my yearbooks and see old pictures of me and Justin, and one of her teachers in Pre-K is a girl who graduated a year after I did. But there was just something about sitting there in the dark theater with my little lady that really hit me. I am the mom, she's the kid. I'm experiencing something my own mother experienced years ago. This is a moment in time repeating itself. And I just felt so motherly...and a little old.

I'm sure there are going to be more moments like this, where I look around at my life and realize where I am on my timeline. It's almost indescribable, but I hope to always see a smiling face like this one wherever I am in life.

Jan 20, 2012

hair be gone

I'm notoriously impulsive. It drives my husband crazy; I get it directly from my mother, which needless to say, worries me about my own children.

I get a wild hair and then I just do something, without another or second thought.

Like say for instance, my hair. I cut it. I dye it. I don't think about it. 'Til it's all said and done with and then I second guess. But, ho ho, it's too late for second guessing then. This is the way I live. It's how I roll.


My bangs were totally annoying me, so I said - "time to get them cut!" And I did. And because my bangs needed to be cut, I needed to cut all of my hair off lest I be left with a mullet. Not a good look for me, I assure you.

So now this is the hairdo I'm working, and it feels pretty amazing. I just hope my bud Cassie doesn't mind I won't have much hair for her wedding in a few months. That's one of those second guesses I had after I had it all cut off.

But I know one person who'll love it, my dear old husband. Gotta love a man that loves short hair on the ladies. It makes my impulsiveness so much easier to deal with. Short hair, FTW!  

Jan 19, 2012

come here, go there: link love


  • Casey has a great post up about childbirth and the dreaded "N" word - I was moved. 
  • I've mentioned Holly before, back when I featured honorable mention posts, and now I just have to send you to her site - she's the cutest little mama and baby #3 will be here any day! 
  • I think the world is shocked to hear about Heather and Jon
  • If only I could speak so eloquently about my girls the way Rebecca does about her twins - no one can touch her style of writing, no one. 
  • I always leave Brittany's blog starving - she shares the best (and easiest and most down to earth) recipes
  • Brandy needs some love - I miss her being happy and my heart is hurting for her. 
  • Not only does Emma make delicious food, she's crafty, too! And I love her book reviews and suggestions. 

Other noteworthy stories:

  • Obama kills SOPA -- never underestimate the power and the voice we have, online and in real life. 
  • The cutest little DIY macaron coin purse -- I'd make one of these myself, but everytime I say the words, "coin purse" my mind just heads straight to the gutter. 
  • America is awesome -- thanks to Sweetney for sharing! 

Jan 18, 2012

can you hear me all the way back in 1995?


I feel drunk, but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah

{I was the ripe old age of seven when this song came out, but I can remember listening to it then and liking it. Now I listen to it and I love it. Story of my life right now brought into focus by a song from way back when, back when I was way too young to get it. Well, I get it now. Good god, do I ever get it.}



{Also, praise the Pandora gods - and who can I blame for not turning me on to this whole internet radio revolution earlier? I'm hooked. All the horribly wonderful bands from my youth are on constant demand: in the car, at home, at work. I've got stations dedicated to Westlife, Pearl Jam, Jewel, NSYNC, Tom Petty and more. It's unreal! Shame on you for not sharing with me before!}

Jan 17, 2012

lately

It's hard to get a good picture of all the jumping happening here! 

Happy sisters :)

My gal has style

McD's date

Quincy & Rhealen

My little model - the third picture down kills me! 

Bundled up - it's been super chilly here! 

Could she be any cuter? I think not. 

Waiting on the big sister to do her bathroom business! 

Every now and then we get a day warm enough to swing. 

Jan 12, 2012

opposites attract


To be sisters, there are times when they couldn't be more different.

Sidney is always on the go - she'd go home with just about anyone if it meant she didn't have to come home. She's the epitome of a social butterfly! She loves school, loves being around other kids and is at "home" wherever she goes. Sidney is very go, go, go.

Rhealen, on the other hand, likes to be in familiar places. You can see the instant relief that washes over her when she realizes she's at "home" in her house or in the arms of someone she knows and trusts. She's sweet to everyone, just like Sidney, but you can feel the nervousness about her when she's around strangers. Rhealen is very no, no, no.

Sidney is so very me. Rhealen is so very Justin.

They are little mirrors of us, separate and together, made of the pieces we gave them and the little sparks within themselves.

It's amazing to look at your children and see how much they are similar to you - and just how opposite they can be. Justin has a hard time understanding why Sidney always wants to be on the move; I have a hard time understanding why Rhealen can't just fall into the crowd wherever we go. Justin understands Rhealen exactly when she falls back on the couch, completely happy to be home. I understand Sidney exactly when she jumps at the chance to run around town for the day.

How did we have such different little ladies? I guess it just goes to show you, there are a million and one combinations for genetics to work with, and sometimes two kids can get pulled from opposite ends of the gene pool.

I love them both equally, though, my mover and shaker and my little home-maker. 

Jan 11, 2012

new year commitments

Look at me, January is already almost half gone and I'm just now getting around to posting my non-resolutions! Typical me.

I mentioned before that I don't make New Year's resolutions, but here is a little list of things I'm committed to doing more of this year (and hopefully every year hereafter).

#1 Read more books.
Since getting my Kindle Fire for Christmas, it's so much easier to tear through books late at night when the rest of my house is sleeping. I've finished the last book in The Hunger Games series, and I'm already browsing around for more series to start thereafter. I'm going to keep track of all the books I read over on my sidebar, just to help keep myself accountable!

#2 Travel more places.
Last year, what with having a new baby and all, I didn't get out of the house that much, especially during those wonderful summer months. This year, I'm committed to packing the kids up and hitting the road - even if it's just for a drive down to the lake for the weekend. Justin, me, the girls and our little pup Beau are going to see the sights this year (and take a real family vacation for the first time ever)!

#3 Eat more food. 
I know, I know. Most people are making resolutions to drop the pounds and here I am talking about eating more! I could definitely stand to go on a diet myself, but this year I'm committed to being open to try more food - I should say more varieties of food. Growing up, I convinced myself that I didn't like certain things, and now I'm finding more often than not, I do like the things I told myself I didn't? Make sense? I had always turned my nose up at watermelon as a kid, but now I can eat half a watermelon in one sitting!

#4 Give more of myself. 
I don't always have extra money in the bank to give to others, so I'm making a commitment to give more of my time. Volunteering is a great way to give back to the community, and I want to find outlets that I can use to help out those in need. My family has always been very good about donating items we no longer need or use to our local Christian ministry, but I want to find more ways to give back to my community this year.

#5 Give more forgiveness.
This year, I'm doing my best to let go of my grudges and past transgressions. I can hold onto hate and loathing for years, letting it rot me inside. I've got to let bygones be bygones and move forward. I spend so much energy into making sure I avoid certain people and feel a certain way towards them, it's exhausting. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference - and I'm choosing to let go of hate and accept indifference if forgiveness can't be found.

It's a simple, little list - but I'm promising myself I'll stick to it! What about you, do you make resolutions or commitments for the new year?




Jan 10, 2012

12 Movies to See in 2012

In no particular order:

The Hobbit:


The Dark Knight Rises:


The Hunger Games:


Snow White and the Huntsman:


American Pie Reunion:


Men In Black 3:


The Avengers:


Wrath of the Titans:


Titanic 3D:


The Woman in Black:


21 Jump Street:


Brave:


It promises to be an epic year for movies and we're only in the midst of January! What movies did I miss? Anything you're dying to see?

 My top three have to be American Pie Reunion, The Hunger Games and The Hobbit (which I know is my husband's #1 pick, he's been counting down to this movie's release for years now)!! 

Jan 9, 2012

Book in Review: Mockingjay

Yay, I'm officially done with The Hunger Games series. Finally, after what feels like a really long time (but was actually record breaking time for me to finish three whole books), I can happily say, "I'm done". And what a relief it is.

I feel like I held my breath throughout the entire book; it was this building anticipation up until the last few chapters that was part-fulfilling, part-letdown. Katniss ended up where I wanted her to with the boy I wanted her to be with. She lost loved ones along the way, some very near and dear to me, so I was sad to see some characters die. I have a similar feeling towards Mockingjay that I did towards Catching Fire.

Neither of these two books has beaten the feeling reading The Hunger Games gave me; the finale of Mockingjay was satisfying and yet I wanted more. It was B-, not the greatest. I was looking for that page-turning excitement from the first book and never found it. There were parts I nearly skipped over because they felt so drug out.

Mockingjay was another "good, not great" for me. I'm glad to be done with the series and still so very excited for the movie to come out. Now it's on to more books!

Any suggestions?

Right now I'm reading Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and then it's on to Water for Elephants and Alice in Deadland

{7 months}


On Friday our little lady hit her 7-month mark! How time flies when you're having fun!

At seven months, Rhealen is eating like a lumberjack (even though she just recently got two little teeth) and has a passion for crackers and biscuits. She sleeps from around 9-8 every night and takes two or three naps during the day. She is absolutely in love with her big sister and will bend over backwards to watch her every move - any time Sidney leaves the room, Rhealen will crawl out of your arms to try and see where she went!


She was only 14.5 lbs at her 6-month checkup, but I'd guess she's put on another two pounds since then. She's finally starting to get a little baby fat on her, which I adore. The chubbier the baby, the more there is to love! 

Rhealen loves Beau to pieces, and the feeling is definitely mutual. She'll grab two fists full of his hair and try to eat him whole, but he just lays there licking her face. They share chew toys (gross!) and food and even take naps together - of course, I have to pry Beau off of sleeping right on top of her (not that she ever seems to notice or mind).


She's doing a lot of jibbering and jabbering, but no real words yet. She says something that sort of resembles "da-da" but hasn't quite got it down pat yet. She can giggle and laugh like no one's business, though! And she finds almost everything in life funny, which is the sweetest.


Rhealen has definitely made our lives 2000x times richer than it ever was before; there are moments when I see Rhealen and Sidney together and my heart just melts from my body. It's such a sweet little moment in time right now - both girls adore each other and love to be around one another. I know it's only a matter of time before the sister bickering begins, but I hope to hold onto these warm memories as long as I can. 


I'm the luckiest momma in all the world! 

Jan 5, 2012

Book in Review: Catching Fire

I know, I know - wasn't it just last week I was rambling on and on about reading The Hunger Games. And here I am going to ramble on and on again about Catching Fire, the second book in the three-part series. But no, I'm not going to ramble. I'm going to get straight to the point.

Catching Fire felt like a bridge for me. The Hunger Games was amazing, epic, the best way to begin a series. Catching Fire, at this moment, feels like the bridge over the gap between the first book and the last. Was it as exciting as the first? No, not really. Was I as into it as I had hoped? No, not really. There were parts that were a letdown. But I'm glad to have read it because now I'm one step closer to finishing the final book. I had to read Catching Fire to get to Mockingjay. If there had been a cliff notes version lying around somewhere, I would've been just as satisfied to have read that instead of pouring through the entire book.

It was okay. The Hunger Games was a solid A+...Catching Fire only gets a C from me. It was needed, I'm sure - it definitely left me in total suspense, dying to start Mockingjay. But I could've read the last chapter and been done with it.

Maybe I'll feel different after I finish Mockingjay (hopefully by the end of the week) and I'll have warmer feelings towards this book. I just can't stand Katniss wish-washing over who she's really in love with: Peeta or Gale? I can't stand Peeta pouring his heart out for Katniss, laying his life on the line for her repeatedly, and all she can summon up is an, "Okay". I need her to love Peeta, and I know she will in this last book. She has to. There's no way she can choose gimpy Gale over perfect Peeta. No way in hell.

I'm rambling again, aren't I?

Okay, enough of that. Final word: Catching Fire was good, not great. And now I'm ready to start Mockingjay! 

Jan 4, 2012

I couldn't resist...


I couldn't help but (over) share these wonderful photos of my girls from my sister-in-law's wedding back in November -- it was a sweet day, made even sweeter by the sight of my girls dressed up so cute! 

Sidney sure does love her Aunt Fanny & Uncle Matt and is counting down the days 'til they move closer to home -- California is just too far away! 











what it takes

Admitting our flaws as parents is one of the hardest things to do, especially when we admit them in front of other parents - specifically, mothers. Since becoming a "Mom" over four years ago, I have witnessed the cruelty and quick-slip tongues of mothers jumping at the chance to rip on other mothers for their habits, their choices, and their lifestyles.

It's become second-nature to judge others, to highlight the wrong-doings of those around us - we rarely take the time to put all that attention and negative focus on ourselves. I have no problem shouting my flaws from the roof for the world to hear. They are what make me human, and without acknowledging that I am one heavily flawed individual, I can never grow, never learn and never move past this person I am, here in this moment.

I've yelled at my children, my six month old included. I have locked my daughter out of the bathroom while she fell into a pile of tears on the floor outside because I just needed a minute. I have lost my temper in public, threatened to spank my child all over a parking lot. I have wished for more time away from them, felt resentment towards them when I didn't get to do something I wanted to do. I have done just about everything wrong in the Parenting 101 handbook (that doesn't really exist, no matter how long you spend searching for it), and I have been Bad Mom of the Year several times over.

I am, at times, a bad parent. I openly and gladly accept and admit it.

Because accepting it and admitting to myself makes me a better parent. For as many bad and dark moments I have as a mother, I have a hundred more wonderful and good moments.

I love my children, tell them both daily over and over again just how much. I kiss them, hold their hands and run my fingers through their hair. I play games, roll around in the floor and hide under blankets 'til I'm out of breath and blue in the face. I kiss skinned knees, mop up puke in the middle of the night, rescue lost toys and give in more times than I refuse. I encourage imaginations and dreams, play pretend on a whim, listen to the same song in the car a hundred times over, teach recipes, explain a million questions and give so much more than I take.

I am, at times, a great parent.

Having dark moments does not define us as bad parents - the memories of bad parenting moments will haunt us forever, I'm sure. I still cringe recalling my bad moments, the feeling is just under the surface always ready to make me feel less than human. But the love that boils just underneath those bad feelings surpasses any fear or doubt I have about myself as a mother. I am a good mother - no one can take that away from me, regardless what they might say. I love my girls, and I know they know it.

I don't mind taking a good long look in the mirror sometimes - for them, it makes me a better person. For me, it makes me love them even more.



Jan 3, 2012

much needed overnight-vacation

Before the new year, we spent time down in Newport with the family - Mom got us a great rate on hotel rooms and we were able to swim, take the kids bowling, pig out and just "chill". Mom's already got us ready to go back in March for an entire weekend full of cards, kids swimming and more hang time while we wait out winter. Justin and I were even able to sneak in a little trip down to Bass Pro Shops (hello, alligator bites and beer)! It was THE perfect way to say goodbye to 2011 and hello to 2012. (Thanks, Mom!)




Let's do it again, REAL soon.

Jan 1, 2012

2012

It's the new year! How are you all planning to spend 2012? I'm kicking back, enjoying my family and being totally lazy...at least for today.
And every day I hope to be surrounded in love by these people. Happy New Year to all of you -- I don't really make resolutions, just little hopes to be better this year than the last. A better mom, a better wife, a better friend, a better person overall.