for my best girl

I love those goofy faces...

... and the way your feet are always dirty - no matter what shoes you've been wearing.

You know I love those curls...

...and they way they blow in the summer breeze.

You crack me up with those crazy-happy faces you make...

...but to see you being sweet on people only makes me love you more.




22 months later and we're still having a ball...

I love you, SidMo.

more engagement snaps

I picked up our engagement photos yesterday - they turned out pretty darn good if I say so myself.

If you'd like to check them out, here's the link to my Flickr account.

:)

and I'm going to share a little side-story about one photo in particular.

Justin & I have a photo very similar to this taken almost six years ago. This photo was taken on the front steps of our high school - the same place we used to sit and cuddle next to each other every day at lunch. That was how Justin and I first spent our time together - at lunch. Every day we'd sit together or chase each other around, just being young and in love. I have the best memories of us sitting outside together like that. We have what we call the "s'more" book (s'more is our version of saying I love you so much more - we just say I love you s'more). That same pose from six years ago is on the very front page of our s'more book. I hope to someday take a 10th, 25th, and 50th year pose right there on those very same steps side-by-side. Taking these photos was a blast and much to my suprise, Justin didn't seem to mind it at all. It's hard to believe but in less than three months, I'll be posting wedding pictures! It's right around the corner for us - and (at least mentally) we're so ready!

engagement snaps

My good buddy Emily took some engagement photos of me and Justin this past Wednesday -- she was kind enough to send me some sneak peek shots this morning and I thought I'd share some with you. I won't put all of the pictures up when I geth them on Monday, but I will post my Flickr link if you're interested in seeing all of them. I think we look pretty good for a couple who isn't very photogenic (but that probably has a lot to do with that $5,000 Nikon of hers...) What do you think?

curly q

When SidMo was just a peanut in-utero, Justin and I would talk back and forth about what we thought she was going to look like. There's about a million different combinations she could've and still might end up looking like. Our families are pretty different looking spaced out among mothers, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles.

I always said the one thing I hoped she would take after Justin would be his hair: that on top of his head and the beautiful eyelashes he was blessed with (from his own momma).

(his hair is naturally curly - like afro-curly when it's long)

When Justin was born, he had cotton-curly hair. I've seen his baby pictures - it was almost as white as snow and curled up into the cutest little puffs on his head. He was adorable (which probably saved his ass, because he was hell on wheels from what his momma has told me)! When I was born, I had no hair on my head. My mom always tells me the story that when her Uncle Larry called and asked "Is she beautiful?" my poor mom broke down in tears and said "No." - truth is, mom had a rough delivery and I came out looking like I had been in 9 rounds with Mike Tyson (ear piece gone and everything)!

Needless to say, I had no idea what to expect when I gave birth to SidMo. I didn't know if she'd come out beautiful or ugly or bruised. I wasn't sure if she'd have a mop of curly hair or no hair at all. I was almost 100% sure her eyes would be blue (the only other possibility I could think of was green...maybe). But other than that, I had no idea what she'd look like. It was three parts exciting, one part terrifying. Although now I know I had no reason to ever worry; even if she did come out "ugly" she would've still been beautiful to me.

(and of course she was beautiful - covered in jet black hair)

As she's grown and grown (and grown and grown and grown) her hair has become sort of her staple: her identifying feature. She was lucky enough to get her daddy's beautiful curls, but she also got some unruliness from me. Her hair is curly and wild and gorgeous - it changed from dark black to a dark brown to what is now a very creamy brown. It's beautiful without a doubt. But it's also crazy - her hair has a mind of its own. And I am in no position to deal with it. I barely even brush my hair let alone do anything above and beyond to beautify it. (Luckily my hair is humane most of the time and does its own thing naturally) I thinks she gets some of that from me.







I always knew I would have a daughter someday. And I knew that by having that daughter, I'd have to harness my inner girl and use it to my advantage. I'd have to be the one (out of us parents) that could help SidMo with the girly parts of life, like hair and make-up and the womanly "curse". Birds of a feather stick together - kind of thing. But I admit I'm at a loss when it comes to helping her deal with this hair of hers; this cursed hair that sweats her neck as the days get longer. This hair she always gets food in and hates to have brushed or touched. This hair that is such a staple of who she is and where she came from. Her hair is wild and unruly and beautiful - all the things that I think she is as she approaches her 2nd birthday. She's gone from being this perfect flat little crop of a person to this booming, vibrant person with a Medusa like craziness to her. It's such a transition! I realize it's just hair and she'll probably hate and change it a million times over the coming years. But I hope she always remembers that this is the hair I wanted for her. This is the personality quirk and beauty charm I wanted her to possess. I always knew that she could carry her own with a crazy mop of curly, unruly hair. And she's done better with it than I ever could have - even if we both are girls. Deep down, she's already 20x more of a girly-girl than I ever could've helped her be.

It's just hair - sure. But it's her hair. It's her gorgeous hair bestowed upon her by her father and me. I hope she loves it...because lord knows I'm in love with that moptop more than I could ever say.

Issac Martin

A new little life has entered our family - my second oldest first cousin on my mother's side had his first baby this past Friday. He's a gorgeous little addition to an already gorgeous crop of babies in my family. Just seeing him made my heart sink - it took everything I had to not come home and make baby #2 right then and there. Thank god one of us in the relationship doesn't lose all sanity any time there's a crying, pooping, screaming newborn sitting around - because that's definitely not my department.

girl time

Every girl needs a little girl time. Even the kind of girl that claims she'd rather "hang with the boys" - even that girl needs a little girl time every once in awhile. Lately I haven't been able to see my best girls what with us all in school and working and dating and just living our day-to-day lives. It's hard to stay connected and I think for the first time since HS, we're really having to deal with that issue. I would never think we're growing apart, it's just getting harder for us to squeeze in time for each other where we can all three be together doing the same thing at exactly the same time.

Last night just happened to turn into the perfect opportunity: Justin was on a little trip to Asheville, NC with one of his buddies and SidMo was staying the night with her Gran & Pops. Yes! The house was empty - so Cassie & Dobby came down and we "planned" to watch a movie. About ten minutes into that movie however, my future FIL showed up with bedroom furniture he had bought for me and Justin (because he's the man like that). So we three girls ended up helping move a queen size bed, a chest and a dresser with a huge mirror attatched - and by that I mean Dobby & I mostly watched Cassie and the future FIL move furniture. Dobby and I are NO HELP. We're more of the cheerleaders of furniture moving. But it was funny - I love doing anything with those girls. Even moving furniture turned out to be a total blast - I'm not sure poor FIL enjoyed it, but even he cracked a smile a couple of times.

"I haven't squatted like that since senior year...."
"Why do you call her 'dog'?"
"You gonna let a girl outscrew you?"
"That's why she's my butch..."

Memories can be made anywhere when you're with your best girls. Moments are fleeting and time is so short that we have to make-do with the opportunities we're given. Not every girl time can be spent at spas or fancy dinners or out for drinks at the club. Some girl time moments happen while you're lugging dresser drawers inside the house or eating three-day-old M&Ms out of a bowl. Girl time is essential to all us girls. We need it just like we need air and water. We have to have it. End of story. And I'm so grateful that I got some high-quality girl time in last night...now I think I can face the next couple of weeks with a brighter outlook. I love you girls, Cassie & Dobby. Thanks for always making it fun!

I'm a lucky girl

Yesterday was a very good day for me even despite the fact that it was a Monday. My dear sweet Mom indulged me a little and bought me my dream camera.





I could've spent 2-3 years saving up for this thing, but like I said - I got lucky yesterday. Hopefully by the time the weekend rolls around, I will have had enough spare time to get out there and take some amazing pictures. I started taking shots yesterday while at a cookout but it was rainy and I was busy chasing SidMo around (she discovered the never ending joy of water puddles)! So this weekend I might get to post up some shots with my new camera. Honestly, I feel like a kid on Christmas today. I've had a 35mm Canon Rebel for about five years now and so to finally get the digital version is just rocking my world!!! Lucky lucky me.

another day at the lake

...it's summertime and the living is easy...

today's the day

Today is the day. It's finally come. No more being a kid. No more childhood. I know that may sound weird, since I am a parent myself. You would think that childhood flew the coop the moment I found out I had a bun in the oven. Well, no it didn't. Not completely - not for me. I was 18 years and 4 months old when I found out I was pregnant. It was my first semester of college. I found out over Christmas break, transferred to a local college close to home and moved back in with my mom full-time. Justin and I had already decided we weren't going to get married and move in together. It was enough of a change to deal with understanding the fact that we were going to be parents all too soon; marriage and co-living would only complicate a very delicate matter. And when Sidney was born 9 months later, I decided staying home was still the best choice for us all. I've thought a lot about that decision over the last 21 months. Did I do the right thing by keeping us all separated? Should I have moved in with Justin and Sidney and tried to get our little family up and running from the get go? Did I harm their relationship in the early days by keeping them in separate houses?

I think the answer is no. I was a full time college student who was working full time. Justin hadn't been working at his job for hardly a year when Sidney was born. We both were just learning about bills and life and saving money and all the things that go along with "growing up". It was hard enough on us to try and be the best parents we could possibly be for our daughter; we didn't need to make the situation any harder than it had to be.

I don't want you to think I took the easy way out and stayed home with my mom so that she could pay for everything and give me free babysitting. That's not at all how I took to the situation. Justin & I have payed for everything for that child as though we were living out on our own from day one. My mother has never been my go-to babysitter just because she's there and convenient for me. I've never taken advantage of my very advantageous situation. It's something I pride myself in as a person and as a parent. I've always taken care of my child and so has Justin. We've never relied on anyone to help us with our daughter. If I'm having a hard time feeling proud of anything else in my life, I can always take shelter in that simple fact.

Living at home with Sidney has been a great experience. We've both been able to grow up a little together at home with my mom and her "Gran". Now I feel confident moving in with Justin and continuing our little family all under one roof. There are no feelings of fear or anxiety or the worry that goes along with making possible mistakes. I'm older. I'm wiser. I'm a better parent every day. We're all ready for this step. Sure, it's not how a lot of people do things. Sure, it's taken us a little longer to get to this moment than it does for some people. But this is where we are in our lives. Tonight will be our first official night staying in our house together. Ideally, Justin will come home to supper cooked and the house a little more lived-in than before. But more than likely, they'll be no supper on the stove and Sidney will be watching me have a nervous breakdown because I can't get her crib back together in her new room. Either way, we'll be making some memories tonight as a family together in our house. Finally, our house. It's been almost two years in the making but we're finally here. And I couldn't be happier.

florida vacation

I don't feel like going into detail about our vacation: let me just say this. I took my 20-month-old daughter to the beach. How do you think it went? In all honesty, it went about as good as it possibly could have gone. She wasn't too afraid of the water. She didn't mind the sand getting everywhere too bad. She never really got too hot. She was never too tired by the end of the day. All in all our beach experience wasn't too bad at all! But like I said, I'm not going to bore you with personal beach vacation tales; instead I'll just post up some of my pictures from the trip and let you enjoy those instead!

puppy update #2

SidMo & I had a wonderfully lazy day today and it was great! We slept in, snuggled on the couch watching cartoons - and then very casually decided we'd go ride the chairlifts up at Natural Tunnel. I love living so close to the park and I love knowing almost everyone who works up there; I have a feeling Sidney and I will spend a lot of weekends up there just hanging out and enjoying the outdoors. We also got out in the yard today and played with our adorable Basset Hound puppies! They are 7 weeks old now and we've still got 8 out of 11 puppies left, so we're really pushing hard to get them sold. Lord knows they're super cute but no one wants to be stuck with a pack of dogs (especially goofy Basset Hounds, god love 'em)!! I'm posting up some pictures from our afternoon with the puppies because they're just too darn cute to ignore. Hopefully my life will slow back down soon and I can continue to blog a little more regularly, but until then I'm going to distract you with the sweetness that is smushy, cuddly, wrinkled, long-eared puppies!!! :)






















and here's one of me + sidmo enjoying the hot afternoon :)

a moment to spare

I'm only blogging to say I can't really blog much right now. We're in the midst of our vacation in Ormond Beach, FL & so far we're loving it! SidMo loves the beach - the waves not so much but the actual sand part is awesome for her! She likes being in the water if someone will hold her up, so it's almost perfect for her. We're in the middle of the great sea world debate; who knows if we'll end up going or not!

I'll be back home Thursday so regular blogging should commence again Friday! See you all then - I feel like I have so much to catch up on reading my favorite blogs! :)