Post Planned Eviction Day

Yesterday was Jaxon's scheldued eviction date - he spent it sleeping and being sweet and even gifted me two solid back-to-back chunks of three hour sleep times last night! We have him his first bath yesterday, and he seemed to love it! I can't really say the same about the post-bath lotion rubdown...

Two weeks old, growing like a weed (that premie formula he's on is THE stuff!) and overall, a wondeful baby. Who could ask for more?

I'm feeling more like myself, even more confident in the last couple days. I can do this. We can do this - we are doing this. I can't wait to see where we all are in just two more weeks. And I hope this little guy is sleeping better by then!

During our hopsital stay, according to Instagram...

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Life with three kids...phew, it's exhausting.

It's definitely an adjustment, so much moreso than it was to go from one to two. We haven't fallen into a groove yet, and I don't anticipate we will anytime soon, but we're getting there. Slowly but surely. Falling back into the normal routine of having a newborn in the house has been my biggest adjustment (duh, obviously), but each day my body is getting more used to less sleep and more divided attention for my kids. I'm so eager to get to that point when things flow a little more naturally, and I don't feel quite so overwhelmed in the little moments.

Luckily, we have an amazing support system and three kids who are just awesome. I can imagine this would be so much harder if we didn't have those two advantages on our side. It makes this transition a million times easier for us all, and I'm so grateful -truly grateful- for everything. Justin and I remind each other almost daily that we are very lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky.

I have so much about these first few days (quickly turning into weeks) with Jaxon that I want to document but time is slowly slipping away. All the guilt I felt with Rhealen over not having documented and cemented every moment of her first few months doesn't even exist this time with Jaxon; I don't have time to feel guilty! But in the quiet moments when I'm with him I realize I need to do better to put it down in words, snap a few pictures (Jaxon and I have yet to have a photo made together!) and just take the mental pictures I need to so I can remember these days forever.

My hats off to those families of five (or more) who make it work and make it look so easy - I hope to be in that zone soon, but for now...we're just taking it one day at a time. I'm home with my kids, and life is going as well as can be expected at this point.

Here's to many more sleepless nights, more kisses and cuddles, more diapers, more fights between the girls, more teamwork, more memories, more more more. All of it, more.

The first time the girls met Jaxon...

Jaxon

Unexpectedly and slightly suddenly, Jaxon Leon came into our lives Wednesday, Jan. 9th, at 8:52 PM weighing in at 5 lbs, 2.2 oz and measuring at 18 inches long. He's our little fella, and love his heart, he had a slightly bumpy start in this world. He finally came home yesterday, and we are working on getting into the routine of three kids and this new baby boy in the house!

I have more pictures to share, his birth story to write, and a million other details to jot down so I can cement these first few days. For now, I'm just popping in to explain my radio silence and excuse myself for a few more days. I've got big sisters to snuggle and a sweet boy to cuddle (and sleep to catch up on!) - welcome home, Jaxon!

TT #29

I missed the last few week's Tumblr Tuesday posts what with it being Christmas and then New Years and all, but let's get back to the shenanigans, shall we?! Onward, ho! 

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I dare someone to tell me he isn't he most glorious being on TV right now. Double dog dare someone.

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So funny (and so true, especially for the dogs!) 

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Congratulations, Kimye!

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You can't be a child of the '00s and not love some Mary J. Blige "Family Affair" - best! song! ever!

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I'm not sure where or who this quote is from, but I dearly love it. 

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John Lennon pulls a "bazinga"! 

No Love

As much as there is sugar and spice and all things nice between these girls there are also tantrums and noise and moments of total "don't look at me, don't touch me, leave me alone!" - They are so good at playing together one moment and then ripping each other to shreds the next. Look at you girls being so typical! Siblings FTW! And them sometimes not... 

Rhealen is definitely the mood-moderator of their playing together. If she's happy and ready to share, then they do. If she's mad and in no mood to take turns, then they don't. Teaching Sidney patience and understanding is hard, especially when the knee-jerk reaction Justin and I have is just, "give it to her! Just let her have her way so we don't have to hear that god-awful racket!" Not how we want to raise our middle child, but ohmygod, the noise this child makes in insufferable. 

Lately we've really had to start working with Rhealen teaching her the principle of waiting and finding other toys to play with in the meantime. Not everything is yours right when you want it, little RJ! 

It's funny to me, being an only child, because I have a better understanding of the girls' actions and reactions than Justin does sometimes (he being a middle child should know all this is totally normal)! The dynamics of sibling relationships continue to amaze me, and while I bask in the glow that is their normal sisterly love, I definitely find myself recoiling in horror at the their little spats. Which will one day, assuredly, turn into not-so-little spats. 

Welcome to sisterhood, girls. 

Hold My Hand

Sidney is a physical little being - touch is comforting to her and gives her a sense of calm quicker than any words could ever do. 

She loves to cuddle, to curl up next to you in bed, to be sitting right next to you on the couch so that your legs align perfectly. At times it can drive me absolutely crazy, the constant feel of her next to me, the suffocating feeling that she's in my space. I need some room, please! There are moments when it's too much, and I have to remind her to back up a little and let me breathe. 

There are also moments I miss out on her touch because life is just that way. She loves to hold hands - walking ten or ten-thousand feet, she'd be content to hold my hand the entire time. And most of the time, I just reach down for her hand as an automatic response. I don't even realize we're doing it because it's just become so second-nature. It's when those moments don't happen I start to notice how different I feel. 

Sometimes my hands are just full - of groceries or bags or her rowdy little sister - and I have to tell her "no, I can't". And it's such a trifle, little thing you'd think it wouldn't matter, to her or to me, but it does. I can tell it bothers her when we don't get to hold hands like we normally do. Trust me, it's started to bother me, too. 

And the knowledge that there'll be even less hand-holding soon makes me want to cry. My hands are going to be twice as full pretty soon, and those ritualistic little moments between me and my first-born are going to be even less frequent. Hand-holding will become a special treat instead of the norm. Again, I know it's a trifle little thing - but it's our thing. And the day is coming when she'll absolutely just totally die of embarrassment  MOM, when I reach down for her hand. She'll hate the thought of being seen in public holding my hand, and then hand-holding will become non-existent all together. It's a natural progression of life, of her growing older, and I know I can't resent her for growing up and becoming her own independent self. 

It's just, man. I really love holding her hand. (And no, I don't feel the least bit guilty or cheesy for posting this song. I'm a mom. It's my job.)

2012: Year in Review

You can see 2011 HERE.

January:: I read quite a few books, outlined all the movies I was excited to see in the new year, made some commitments instead of resolutions, enjoyed little dates with the girls, cut off my hair!, celebrated another blog-anniversary, and shared some more of my "non-expert" blogging tips.

February:: I did my first (and only) "photo an hour" post, we had some family photos taken,  I joined in on The Bloggess' #JuanitaWeasel fun, had so much fun doing this dressing-room style post, and felt totally guilty that I wasn't taking as many photos of the girls as I wanted to.

March:: I made myself a little "to-do" list, was disappointed with some legislation my home-state passed, went wedding-dress shopping with my BFFs (for Dobby's wedding!), celebrated the sweet husband's birthday, fell in love with Hello Dolly! (the Barbara movie), celebrated my love for Titanic, and felt the general public's reaction to Alicia Silverstone and her bird habits.

April:: The girls and I took a road-trip to Kentucky to see some great friends and family, I shared 10 of my favorite blogs, professed my love for 35mm film and tried to take more photos the "old-fashioned" way, and we ended the month by buying a boat!

May:: I finally admitted to the world that I have an obsession with Norman Reedus, we took our first official family vacation to Jacksonville, NC, I tried my hand at some free writing, posted a silly movie quote Because series, spent family time at the lake, and did our best to enjoy the beginning of summer '12!

June:: We started the month off with a bang announcing our pregnancy!, I finally got around to sharing Sidney's birth story, Rhealen turned ONE and I patted myself on the back for managing to keep up with her monthly updates, I did a little re-design on the blog (which has, of course, since been re-designed), celebrated Father's Day with the best Poppa we know, and saw baby brother for the first time.

July:: I cut off Sidney's hair, traveled to Kentucky for my BFF Cassie and her man Gerald's wedding, brought back the Tumblr Tuesday feature, blissfully accepted my place in this big ol' world, and shared my first Currently series post.

August:: Took a mini-trip to Newport, TN, and spent the night driving a screaming RJ around in the car, my big girl started Kindergarten!, updated on the baby for the first time officially on the blog, and took a little trip down to Greeneville, SC to see grand-parents.

September:: My sweetest Sidney turned a "whole handful" 5, I day-dreamed about buying blue things for our boy, the girls and I took one last vacation out to Williamsburg, VA to see my dad, Justin and I celebrated another anniversary, and I turned 24 at the end of the month!

October:: The Walking Dead finally premiered back on my TV and life became wonderful again, Rhealen finally hit the 20lb+ mark, Sidney lost her first tooth, we celebrated Halloween on the chilliest night of the month, and I tried to motivate others to join in on the blogging fun!

November:: I felt like I was the only one in my entire county happy to see President Obama re-elected, updated on the girls' growing spells, cleaned up my online presence and following making life so much more enjoyable for me, shared some of my favorite dancing-in-movie sequences, had a wonderfully full Thanksgiving holiday, and reveled in the fact that I made it to 30+ weeks of pregnancy!

December:: I had a true moment of pregnancy brain and thought our daughter was a burglar, let myself wallow in some good old-fashioned "mom guilt" for my little RJ, shared my opinion on how uncomfortable I feel sharing all in the delivery room, kept thinking and thinking of baby names for brother to no avail, lamented over the fact that The Walking Dead is on hiatus, celebrated a wonderful Christmas and felt a little sad that I didn't take more photos, and ended the year talking about my "third nipple".

What a year! I went back and forth this year about whether or not to do a year-end wrap-up, and now I'm so glad I did. It's so much fun combing through the past year's posts and reminiscing - 2012 was definitely a great year for us! Hopefully 2013 will be just as full and wonderful :)

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Breakfast at Gran's house 

Watching: I aim to watch all of the Harry Potter movies consecutively as soon as I go on maternity leave - Justin got me the full DVD set for Christmas, and I can't wait to dive into them! I'd start now, but I know there's no way I'd be able to focus on the movies with Justin and the girls running around. I'll save them for those late nights with the baby boy. 

Thinking about: How incredibly lucky I am (and so thankful) to have had three wonderful pregnancies and two easy deliveries thus far; I can only hope that this time around will be just as enjoyable and easy and that both brother and I come out on the other side safe and happy. 

Anticipating: Everything this month: moving into our new house (fingers crossed!) and baby boy's arrival, as well as all the other wonderful things that pop up in between the month of January! I might even say I'm anticipating a little snow for the kids to play in :) 

Listening to: Whatever Sidney chooses lately - she's got such an eclectic taste in music (she comes by it honest!) so we listen to everything from Nicki Minaj to Gary Glitter to Luke Bryan to The Fresh Beat Band. Her current favorite? "It's Tricky" by Run DMC. 

Working on: Mentally preparing myself for labor and delivery, and having a newborn in the house. I'm trying not to over-think it all and instead focus on the joy of the moments to come. This precious newborn time goes by so fast (thankfully) and before I know it, we'll be into the thick of three growing kids! 

Wishing: I could slow things down a little! Time goes by so fast, I just can't believe it's 2013. I can't believe it's January and this baby will be here soon! I can't believe how big the girls are! I could go on and on, but it's kind of redundant. Time marches on and the pace is alarming...slow down, please! 

Currently series inspired by Danielle.

2013*

Here it is, the new year! The year (and month) of the baby boy, the year of our new home, the year of ten years for Justin and me, the year of growing and learning and falling even more in love with my life. The first of the year always feels so refreshing and inspiring, like anything is possible and everything will happen! I can't say I have any resolutions or commitments this year. I'm just opening myself up to the knowledge that my life is what I choose to make it, and I am in control of my destiny if I choose to take control. I can leave it all to chance or take charge, it's all up to me to make my choices and live with the results no matter how this year unfolds. Happy new year to all, may 2013 be everything for everyone and then some!