romantical

a lucky suprise

One of the perks of blog-hopping is sometimes listening to music you've forgotten about or didn't know about to begin with. It's always a happy little suprise to me when I hear a song I used to love or heard once, fell in love with, but couldn't remember what it was or where I heard it.

And such a little nugget I found today.

Here is the amazing tune "Song To The Siren" by This Mortal Coil.

On the floating, shipless, oceans
I did all my best to smile
til your singing eyes and fingers
drew me loving into your eyes.
And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me,
Let me enfold you."
Here I am, here I am
waiting to hold you.
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you here when I was full sail?
Now my foolish boat is leaning,
broken lovelorn on your rocks.
For you sang "Touch me not, touch me not,
Come back tomorrow."
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.
I'm as puzzled as a newborn child.
I'm as riddled as the tide.
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Or shall I lie with death my bride?
Here me sing: "Swim to me, swim to me,
Let me enfold you."
Here I am, Here I am, waiting to hold you

This song is sang by the ridiculously talented Elizabeth Fraser, a Scottish singer and one helluva talented woman. She sings in a traditional Scottish style called "Puirt a beul", which basically means she emphasizes the way the music should sound over the actual lyrics themselves. The notes of the song are more important than the words; which at times can be annoying (because when I first heard this song, I couldn't tell if it was English, French, etc.) but it's also incredibly beautiful.

I first heard this song watching "The Lovely Bones", a movie that was more "meh" than "marvelous". But when this song came on at a pivotal part in the movie, it was a truly touching scene - Peter Jackson's colorful, crazy, CGI world somehow managed to match perfectly with this song from the early 80s. It was a very moving moment during the movie, and this song got stuck in my head. Not enough that I could remember it, partly because I couldn't understand it, but thankfully after a little blog-hopping, I've found it once more.

And I'll treasure it forever. It's a gorgeous, gorgeous song.

getting back to birch trees, but not so poetically

source

I've spent a lot of time with the kids in my family lately. Kids who are seven. Kids who are eight. Kids who are twelve. And of course my kid, who's almost three.

And it's made me miss all the little parts of childhood I took for granted. The not worrying about life, the feeling of being protected 24/7 even when I was alone. The many questions, without answers. The endless possibilities. The novel idea I could still be anything and do anything at any point and time. The looking forward to major milestones: like my first kiss, my first car, my first job. Every day held endless possibilities. And the days seemed to drag on forever. I thought I'd never see eighteen. Or twenty-one.

And here I am, about to be twenty-two, still very much a child in ways. I've had to grow up quicker than some of my peers, what with becoming a Mom at eighteen and a wife at twenty. These were choices I made, and I don't regret one single second. Would I have done it differently? Perhaps. But I don't regret the things that led me to this moment in my life, this blog post.

Spending all this time with older kids has got me thinking about my kid and the conversations we'll have someday. It's hard to imagine in four years, I'll be talking to my seven year old. In nine years, I'll be talking to my twelve year old. In fifteen years, I'll be talking to my eighteen year old. And when three years have flown by, believe me I know it's all around the corner. It'll come and go quicker than I can say "freeze". The moment will have passed.

The big kids make me miss being a kid. And it makes me miss the kid my kid has yet to become. Sound confusing? You should hear how it sounds in my head. It's a mixed up, jumbled up mess. But I know if I spend too much time dwelling on it, the kids will be grown and I'll have missed it all.

So I treasure the little moments. With all the children in my family at their various ages. They annoy me, yes. They drive me to the brink of madness in seconds, yes. They remind me that I really might want to think twice before I have a dozen kids, yes. But they fill me with love - and they remind me that inside all of us is a kid. A happy go lucky, ceaselessly happy, joyous, bright, hopeful kid.

And that part of us will never grow up.

a lot and a little

A lot of pictures this week and a little bit of words.
Some days are just better, more fluid than others.
Some days are static, represented only in smiling happy faces.
Today we smile.

Have a joyous weekend. I'll be taking pictures all the live-long days (if the weather cooperates - my new rented lens arrived today and I can't wait to try it out!)

my heart

i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go, you go, my dear
and whatever is done by me is only your doing, my darling
i fear no fate
for you are my fate, my sweet
i want no world
for beautiful you are my world, my true
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
i carry it in my heart

*poem by ee cummings