Let's Talk About This Lorde Song for a Minute

Show of hands>>who's obsessed with this song?

You there in the back, get on the bandwagon already. It's a sweet song. 

Now, show of hands again>>who the hell knows what she's talking about? 

Yeah, if you're like me, you're coming to the realization right about now that you're no long part of the in crowd -- maybe "in crowd" isn't the right term. What I mean to say is: we're OLD and getting older every second. Further and further away from what's hip and cool and do the kids these days even use those words? Cool beans was a term from my generation, but I'm pretty sure that one died out with our love of hemp shark-tooth necklaces and Tommy Hilfiger overalls. 

I realize I'm a mother and married and with a mortgage -- but none of that meant I felt old. Not until recently. Well, not old -- just older. 

And maybe it's not even that I feel older -- the great divide between me and them is now abundantly clear, however. I'm one day further away from this generation of selfie-loving individuals who text non-stop and IG their lives away and love a lot of things that I don't quite understand. 

And I get that. No judgment, really. I was there -- we all were at one time or another. Sure, the music was different and the phones not so snazzy and we still had pretty basic cable packages without DVR. Different music was played and we all had different faces behind pastel heart-shaped sunglasses with rhinestones around the rim. It was different -- the clothes were different and everything was different -- but the same. 

That's life. I get that more than ever now. 

So thanks, Lorde, I like your beat -- it makes me feel things I didn't quite expect to feel. But that's the point of music, isn't it? To get inside us and bring out emotions we didn't know we had within? 

The Fine Line

Do you ever struggle with yourself internally over the fact that you feel happy when you should probably feel guilty? Or you feel guilty when you should feel grateful? More specifically, how do balance your emotions when you're fully aware and empathetic of infertility, yet you've never suffered one day from it?

Currently

Loving: How nice and peaceful things feel right now -- I know you might think there's never a moment of peace in the chaos of our lives (three kids, two parents that work full-time, school activities, etc.) but honestly, there's a certain feeling of serenity among us right now. I don't know if it's this time of year or just a freak moment in time, but all feels right in our world, and I'm loving it. 

Reading: Justin likes to make fun of the fact that I still enjoy reading my copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting -- I think my best cousin/buddy Dobby got it for me when I was pregnant with Sidney. I've treasured it, dog-eared so many pages, and basically kept it by my bedside like a bible during each of my pregnancies. I know the information inside like the back of my hand, but there's just something so reassuring about seeing answers to my questions in black-and-white anytime I need to calm my mind (or worrisome husband). 

Watching: I'm sure I've admitted to it on the blog before, but I'm a real sucker for reality TV cooking shows. Chopped is my all-time favorite, and now that we have that fancy-pants DVR, I never miss a show! And I love it! Chopped episodes for everyone :) 

Eating: Still in love with chocolate milk like there's no tomorrow (it's this baby girl who's really in love with it, I should say) but recently, I've been downing Starbucks' Salted Caramel Mocha hand over fist! They are just SO GOOD. Confession: a couple weeks ago, I had two in one day. I'm so ashamed. 

Anticipating: Halloween! I know, I know -- if you're one of those people who fall into the "stop anticipating and rushing each upcoming holiday" file, I understand, believe me! I am so appalled that there are already Christmas layaway commercials on TV, you just don't even know -- but I am excited for Halloween and just as excited for all the days leading up to Halloween. Honestly, I hope the days go by slowly -- I enjoy getting to enjoy our decorations and that countdown feeling that comes with the holidays. 

Listening to: Halestorm - and lots of it. It's such a random thing, not sure how it happened, but I blame my hormonal self. Here's to Us makes me weepy ::cue eye rolls:: and I'm just in love with Lzzy Hale's voice. Ah-mazing. 

Working on: Rearranging bedrooms and figuring out sleeping situations for everyone. The girls will now have to share a room for awhile, so it's been interesting trying to figure out how to get them sleeping comfortably in the same space. Sidney would still sleep with us if we let her -- she prefers to have the TV on as she falls asleep, plus her night-light (and sometimes a DreamLite pillow, too) and the door wide open with no chance of closing (read: a giant plush horse in front of her door so it can't budge an inch). Rhealen likes the room pitch black with the door closed and zero noise/light. So.....yeah. It's going to be interesting merging the two of them. Plus? What kind of beds do we get? Sidney has a twin-sized bed and Rhealen still sleeps in her crib. We're thinking bunk beds will be the way to go -- or maybe a day bed? So confused....

Wishing: I knew how to knit. Or crochet. Or anything like that -- I guess I could do something really strange like learn to do it. But I haven't yet and lord knows if I ever will. Sigh. 

Currently series inspired by Danielle.

TT #36

{via}

Is this real life?! I mean, this person's Twitter account is still active and full of gems like this one -- but I hope it's a fake account and not a real human being on the other end. 

{via}

Pretty sure I'm 98% panda...


{via}
Can we talk about how freaking adorable Tom Hiddleston is? Because he's so cute, it literally hurts. Where Norman Reedus is my sexy man stallion, Tom Hiddleston is my adorable dimpled kitten. So cute!!

{via}
I'm not sure if Simon Pegg was speaking directly about his relationship with often co-star Nick Frost or not, but I love his comment on the idea behind a "bromance": You can be affectionate with each other, you can love each other and it doesn’t have to be some – you know, and even if it does turn into something, which it didn’t, then it’s okay… We always sort of flinch at this “bromance” buzzword that’s come up – there’s no equivalent for women, because it’s not weird if women are friends… because of this homosexual terror that straight guys have, it’s ridiculous. Now there has to be this word for it, and it’s crazy. It’s totally sad.

{via}
And don't you forget it!

{via}
So wrong, it's right. I'm sorry, Miley, I just don't get it. 

Family Photos

Finally, we have some "family of five" photos....casual, unorganized, chaotic and un-styled -- we've been meaning to get professional photos done all summer, but with our business, this is the best we could do in a pinch. Pretty dang good if I do say so myself!! 

Can't wait to take photos again this time next year when little Jameson is with us!!

Thank you, Stephanie!! 

S'MORE

Ten years ago today, on a chilly night after a football game, I kissed that boy of mine in the backseat of my grand-parent's handicapped van. I kissed him and I meant it. And I've meant every kiss from that night 'til now. 

It's that day of the year -- the day I wax poetic about the love I have for my husband and how he's the best of the best and there'll never be another man for me. 

And all that's true, for sure. 

And lord knows I love to ramble on and on about the lovey dovey things in life. 

But I'm not going to -- not today. Not too much, at least. 

Today, four years ago, I stood in front family and friends and vowed to be married to my husband for better or worse. And I meant it. And he meant it, too. So here we are, four years later, keeping the vows we promised to each other and to our loved ones. And through it all -- the best of the better and the worst of the worse -- we have loved each other. From last year's anniversary to today's, there have been quite a few uphill/downhill moments for us. But I know now, more than I ever knew before, that I am so loved. I am safe in my marriage. I am undeservingly blessed with a husband who loves me, and I honestly don't think I could rid myself of him if I tried. Not that I'd ever want to -- Justin is as much a part of me as my hand or heart. He's not an extension of me but rather the completing piece. It's that simple and that complicated. 

And I said I wasn't going to ramble, so I'm stopping. Right now. Promise. 

Happy anniversary, babe. Thank you for this life you've created with me. 

Here's to all that we kissed, And all that we missed To the biggest mistakes, That we just wouldn't trade To us breaking up, Without us breaking down To whatever's comin' our way - here's to us :)

Jaxon - Month 8

Whoops! I totally forgot to do Jaxon's monthly update for September -- but it's still technically the month of September and not too far away from the ninth, so I'm golden! Crisis averted :)

Jax is just THE man this month -- eight months old is officially the bombdotcom and I love everything about right now. He's hitting little milestones like sitting up! and feeding himself! and he just loves it. He cracks himself up and he cracks me up, and we just sit and laugh at each other laughing.

Jaxon loves his sisters, still loves to pull their hair and screech at them and basically do everything and anything to gain/hold their attention. It really is adorable, how much he loves his big sisters (I hope he loves his little sister just as much, too!)

There's so much I love about having a son -- so much that I couldn't put it into words if I tried. It really is different having a boy versus having a girl -- not better mind you, just different. I know eventually he's going to be his daddy's shadow -- he already adores him beyond words and saves the biggest smiles for Justin (so long as I'm holding him, he still doesn't want to be in anyone's arms but mine 99% of the time!) -- I do my best to treasure this sweet, special time between us.

I look at my little chunky dude, and I still can't believe he started out at a mere 5 lbs -- one of these days I'll get around to posting his birth story. I've had it in my drafts folder for months on end, but I'm not sure it's finished, so I'm not sure when it'll get posted. My goal? Before his first birthday.

Which will be in less than four months.

Holy shit.

My baby is growing up on me! And I don't want him to! I want him to stay this sweet, cuddly, momma's boy who sleeps all night and squishes grapes in between his front two teeth and loves dogs and hates bath-time but loves showers with momma and is just MY SWEET BABY BOY ohmygod I could squeeze him to death!

I love him a little too much, y'all. But it's never quite enough...

So.....

....it's Friday. And it's officially the weekend now. And I've managed to sneak a few moments almost every evening and actually blog regularly -- but since I have nothing real to say right now, let's just go with this video.



I have no idea what this is or what it's about -- it's one of those true blue WTF?! things, but I think you just have to roll with it.

Honestly, I can stop watching.

Happy weekending! 

I'm leading this post with a picture of this toilet -- a picture I've used a few times on the blog before, but my hope is that if you see the toilet, you'll be able to put two and two together that maybe this post will have a little TMI for you. Squeamish? Not into getting down and dirty regarding bodily functions? Afraid of pregnancy talk? Turn away now -- fair warning. I won't judge you, promise!

Rhealen Jo 2.3

Little by little, our pint-size powerhouse Rhealen Jo grows -- and what she lacks in physical growth, her emotional response and verbal activity growth more than make up for! 

She is the living, breathing, fiery embodiment of the "terrible" twos -- so much life and passion and temper and fire in this girl! When she's sweet, she melts my heart from my chest. And when she's mad, there is no safe place to hide. She's little but loud. She's reserved but rowdy -- when she wants to be. It's always amazing to me how gentile and sweet my children can be, how polite they are in public -- and then at home, it's an explosion of emotions. 

Which, of course, is fine, too.

I would much rather them put on their best faces and manners when they need to and let their hair down at home. Home is the safe place, the "no judgment", the freedom to be themselves. And Rhealen is definitely free in her own element.

She's a climber, an explorer -- it's nothing to find her perched on the back of the couch or loveseat, like an animal waiting to strike. She loves dogs, above all others, and identifies people based on the dog they're associated with. Gran has Rudie and Buddy Bob and Minnie Pearl. Sandy has Lala. Papaw has Buddy. Sammy has Octavious. And so on and so forth. 

In Rhealen's eyes, a person is only as good as their dog :)

She's something, that Rhealen Jo -- I don't think she quite understands there's yet another baby headed our way, and her world is going to be reshaped once again. She has the tendency to be on the stingy side with her affections, so I'm not too sure she's going to be too happy about another baby to kiss and cuddle and love anyway. 

Although, I have the sinking feeling that in a few years, this little queen bee is going to be giving the orders around the house and driving her minions (little brother + little sister) to do all her dirty work! 

She really is something, that RJ girl. 

Currently

My baby boy -- going to be a big brother soon! 

Loving: This weather -- I know each time the temperature drops a degree, people get a little more excited for fall! and lattes! and pumpkins! and believe me, I'm right there with you -- but this in between weather of summer and fall is so nice. Cool mornings, warm sunny days and crisp evenings. What's not to love?!

Reading: Elephant Girl: A Human Story by Jane Devin -- this is one of those free Amazon Prime books I picked up randomly, but I'm loving it so far. It's bittersweet, honest, and beautiful. I'm only about 1/3 of the way through it, but I'm really liking it and would give it "two thumbs up" so far! 

Watching: Porter Ridge -- what has to be THE DUMBEST show ever, but my husband is obsessed with it for some reason, and I can't turn away. I love that almost 90% of the dialogue is captioned for those who aren't used to poor hillbilly slang, yet I can understand every. single. word. 

Eating: Well...it's more of drinking: choclate milk! Can't get enough of the stuff, and I usually have to drink at least two full glasses before bedtime!

Anticipating: The arrival of BABY NO. 4! I didn't post any type of official "announcement" here (which is just further proof that this isn't a real blog anymore) but, yeah, I'm pregnant. Again! We're adding to our family +1 -- a little lady will be here by Jan. 22 :)

Listening to: Randomness, as usual -- right now I love Katy Perry's "Roar", Jason Aldean's "Night Train", Halestorm's "Here's to Us", and more. It's all random, all the time. 

Working on: Unpacking and arranging the last of the things from the old house. We finally, FINALLY! got the last of our stuff hauled over and now our new house looks like a hurricane blew through. I still can't wrap my head around how we accumulated so much stuff over the course of four years living together! 

Wishing: I had better answers for some of the questions Sidney throws my way -- she thinks so deeply sometimes, she completely throws me off my game with these heavy questions about life and death and family and love. I don't always feel like I'm doing her justice with the answers I give -- I just try to speak from the heart and be honest with her. I don't think a parent can go too wrong just being open with their children, and while I want to give her my real answers, I also try to remind her that she can make up her own mind about everything in life. Her opinion is her own! 

Currently series inspired by Danielle.

Apropros for today, amIright?

Also: so random.

Sidenote: this isn't a real post. Or much of a real blog anymore.