{happy halloween}

Halloween's to-do list:

1.) Dress up

2.) Trick-or-treat

3.) LOTSA candy

4.) Hocus Pocus & porcorn

5.) Full bellies and warm toes

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Y'ALL. 

let's get spooky

It's Halloween weekend, bitches. Get your freak on. 

to the punkin' patch

 Monday, Sidney and I went to the Punkin' Patch with her PreK class; it was our first official "field trip" and I can now proudly say, "damn! I feel old."

I'm the mom on the field trips now -- the one responsible for packing snacks and holding hands and keeping up with busy little bodies. Time is zooming by at warp speed, and suddenly, it's my kid on the school bus and my kid taking trips with friends. Wow...

We had a blast, rounded up some great pumpkins (at even greater prices!) and did it all without any meltdowns or blowups.

Sidney is at the best age right now -- she loves everything and has such appreciation for the most simple of treats. There's no need for fancy or flashy, as long as it's fun. I can't wait 'til RJ gets to this age. Babies are fun and toddlers are great, but there's just something magical about a school-aged kid.

 Magical, I tell ya. 

fall.

I'm loving this weather right now...it's amazing to be so close to November and still have days that reach 70+ degrees. The leaves are amazing right now, it's crystal clear to me why I love this time of year so much.

It's also slightly depressing because I know in just a few more weeks there's a chance I'll be looking at something like this:

I've already had an anxiety attack (or three) about winter and the lack of sunshine. Every year I get a little more and more nervous as winter approaches. I've been doing my best to soak up every second of these warm, sunny days - but I know that familiar creeping feeling headed my way. There will be times when I leave the house when it's still dark and come home after the sun's already gone back down. There will be days when I feel the sun only for minutes instead of hours. This I know.

But for now, I'm loving the warmer temperatures and the sunshine and this gorgeous time of year. I'm so thankful to live in a climate that experiences four distinct seasons - it's comforting to know that after the cruel winter there'll be a wet spring and a hot summer. And my favorite time of year, a breezy fall.

lovey

I don't think my girls could love each other any more than they already do -- and I know I couldn't be more proud. What did I do to deserve such beauty in my life? 

different, but the same

(Four Months: Sidney '08 & Rhealen '11)

How can two little girls be so similar and yet so drastically different? 

I can only imagine how much they'll grow, together and apart, over the years. 

{bloglove}

I've said it before on here, but it bears repeating again: I love the power of connection the world wide web has provided us with.

I love that I am able to relate to so many people in so many cities, states and countries around the world. I've found such a humbling peace to see mirrors of myself in other women (and men) out there. I have this undeniable sense that I'm not alone, that the things I'm going through are unique to me, yes, but not unique to the problems so many of us face. I am reminded daily that I'm one of billions, and yet I couldn't feel more at peace with the knowledge.

So many people out there have blogs or are starting blogs these days; it's such a popular thing to do, I think some people look at is as a "passing fad" and brush it off as useless or a waste of time. To me, blogging feels incredibly natural. Sometimes I find myself running out of material - when that happens, I turn to my heart and my head. What am I feeling today? What am I thinking about? It can be very deep and emotional things or pure fluff. And that's the beauty of it.

I'm grateful for my blog. It keeps me sane and helps to remind me of all the little moments I forget about from time to time. We're constantly told as children to write our own stories, be the master of our own destinies. What better way to document our journey than with a blog? It offers an open platform to reach the masses, the opportunity to connect with corners of the world never reachable before, and it allows us to self-reflect and grow.

Blogs may seem like pure egotistical nonsense, but they are so much more than that. They are windows to the world. They give a voice to every face in the crowd. They are instant memory-keepers and online diaries. Who could ever put down such a powerful thing?

Be proud of your blog. Be proud of what you say and how you share yourself. Don't let the masses bring you down. Instead, reach out to them and open your hearts to the millions of stories being shared online every day. Don't get in a rut of only visiting the same blogs over and over again; get out there and explore this massive online universe.

And don't be afraid to tell your story. No one will ever know the thoughts in your head, the emotions you feel if you don't share them. Love your blog, protect and support yourself, and keep your chin up. We're all in this together, as evidenced by all the millions of blogs out there. I, for one, applaud all of you for being so bold. I hope to share with you in your journey for years to come.

You can rest assured, I'll be right here at home, sharing mine.

{I pledge allegiance to this blog...}

{very smart dude}

“My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. "Why don't you have a straight job like everyone else?" they asked me the other day. I told them this story: In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you." And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, "Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest." So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.”

-Tom Waits



{Dear Sidney}

Dear Sidney,

You were so excited the day you became a big sister. In actuality, you became excited the moment you found out you were going to be a big sister. On the very day we told you, you came home with an "It's a Boy!" balloon from the store, before you ever even knew what was going on. You weren't right about having a little brother, but I think you're more than okay with that. You adore your little sister, beyond words. I could never begin to sum up the way your eyes shine when she smiles at you. The very sight of the two of you together melts me completely.

About one week after we came home from the hospital, I sat in the recliner looking at my girls - you asleep on the couch and your sister asleep in her bouncy chair. Van Morrison's "These Are the Days" was playing through the laptop and your Daddy was getting the house ready for bed. I looked over at you both and felt this explosion of love. Nine months of uneasy emotions and nervous thoughts flew from my soul, and there we all were - home, happy and healthy, together. That memory is so soft in my mind, yet it holds such strong feelings. I'm so lucky to be here among you girls, so blessed to witness your love for one another. I never had a sister, so I'm only guessing at the feelings you share. From where I sit, the view is beautiful and the love palpable.

I was worried about you before, nervous as to how you'd do adjusting to sharing the limelight. You were the only grandchild for so long, I didn't know how you'd feel about giving that title up. Now, I see all my worry was for nothing. You've embraced sisterhood with glory and grace. There's not a day that goes by that I don't look at you and think, "you're amazing" my child. You are amazing.

I want to thank you for being such a wonderful sister. Thank you for loving me and loving Rhealen and keeping this family intact and wholesome. You are pure joy, bottled up with blue eyes and curly brown hair. You were a surprise to us, just like Rhealen was, but we couldn't have asked for better girls. As you get older, you and your sister may fight. You may forget about the bonds you have and the simple, sweet love you share right now. There may come a time when you tell each other, "I hate you."

But please don't forget this moment in your life. Don't forget what it was like to do everything in your power to make your sister smile. Don't forget all the cuddles you shared in the mornings before school. Don't forget that moment when you first saw her, and your smile was so wide it barely fit in the room. Promise me, you won't forget.

And know I'll never forget a second of the day you became a big sister, and I became the luckiest lady in the whole world.

I love you, my dear Sidney Morgan.

Momma

let's get freaky

It's Friday, bitches.

{for Justin, for Sidney}

{50 Rules for Dads of Daughters}

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually

6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.


20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.


21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.


24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.


25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.


27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.


29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.


30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.


32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.


34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.


35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.


37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.


39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.


40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.


41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.


43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.


45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.


46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.


48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

{I love you both, more than words...}

**Found this list via Pinterest

Sidney Morgan 4.1

Sidney is amazing, amazing beyond words. But I'll try.
She is my light, my eldest, my beautiful girl. Sometimes her imagination blows my mind away, and it's hard to keep up with her. She's soaking up the world around her at lightning speed. She loves books, and even though she can't technically read, she's memorized every word of her favorite books. And then sometimes, she just makes up the words as she goes.

mock-polaroid

I'm slightly obsessed with "Polaroid" applications on my phone -- I use them all the time and honestly, can't get enough of them. It's amazing we pay so much for phones to make our photos look so "vintage" -- oh, the irony! I've been scouring the internet looking for 600 film for my Polaroid. I want to get some real photos in my hands and start a little collection of my own, especially of the girls.

For now my phone applications will do. My two favorites are the Roidizer app and the Polaroid setting under the LittlePhoto app (both for the Droid) -- check 'em out if you've got a Droid!

PS: Don't you think my car looks like Shrek?

{4 months}

Rhealen could not be a sweeter girl. She wakes up smiling from ear to ear, she's always cooing and smiling and just this Saturday I heard her full-on giggle for the first time. We were sitting outside, just enjoying the sunshine and she broke into a little fit of giggles. It was THE sweetest sound.

It's hard to believe she's already four months old. Justin and I talk about the possibility of more kids, and right now especially, we're still kind of up in the air about the whole idea. When Rhealen hits these amazing little milestones, I always hear a little voice in the back of my head asking, "is this the last first time....?" I'm not sure yet, but watching her change over the last four months has been so amazing, I can only hope to do this at least one more time.

She's perfect. We couldn't have dreamed up a better baby and a better addition to our little family.

one day old

four months old

oh snap!

{Stolen from a good buddy on Facebook, too funny and hopefully eye-opening not to share! LOVE IS LOVE, people!}

On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 {Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination}, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:


"Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination .... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 {Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids.} states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7 {And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.} In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev15: 19-24. {“‘When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening. Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean.Whoever touches her bed must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.Whoever touches anything she sits on must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Whether it is the bed or anything she was sitting on, when anyone touches it, he will be unclean till evening. If a man lies with her and her monthly flow touches him, he will be unclean for seven days; any bed he lies on will be unclean."} The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. {But his inwards and his legs shall he wash in water: and the priest shall burn all on the altar, to be a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.} The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 {Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death.} clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10 {And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:}, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 {Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;} states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. {Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.} How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 {The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it is unclean for you. And the pig, though it has a split hoof completely divided, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.} that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 {Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.} by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. {Now the son of an Israelite mother and an Egyptian father went out among the Israelites, and a fight broke out in the camp between him and an Israelite. The son of the Israelite woman blasphemed the Name with a curse; so they brought him to Moses. (His mother’s name was Shelomith, the daughter of Dibri the Danite.) They put him in custody until the will of the LORD should be made clear to them.Then the LORD said to Moses: “Take the blasphemer outside the camp. All those who heard him are to lay their hands on his head, and the entire assembly is to stone him. Say to the Israelites: ‘If anyone curses his God, he will be held responsible; anyone who blasphemes the name of the LORD must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him. Whether an alien or native-born, when he blasphemes the Name, he must be put to death.} Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) {And if a man take a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burnt with fire, both he and they; that there be no wickedness among you.}

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging."

Your adoring fan, James M Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia.

{PS I think this is hilarious and true and a very informative way to tackle this highly sensitive subject. People try to interpret the bible as "black and white" when dealing with homosexuality, but it seems many other parts are left open for more modern interpretations. I think it's time those people using the bible as a pegleg to stand on in regards to this issue took another look. Find a different reason to be opposed to homosexuality if you wish, but don't bother using the good book as your crutch anymore with me. I won't hear it - not that I ever really heard it before.}

{PPS I used the King James interpretation when I could...because my Jesus talks with an Olde English accent and flies the colors of his true lady MM from his walking stick, just like any good knight would Word!}

{PPPS I'm doubly proud the man who wrote this letter is from VA!}

lately

Sleepy girl always misses out during cheerleading practice!

There's something so surreal about seeing her name printed on things...

Lovely evenings.

Work fun!! 

RJ looks 20x cooler than I do in my own sunglasses

My little city lights

The drive home from school