***MERRY CHRISTMAS***

I'm taking the week off from blogging to focus on the holiday season and just enjoy myself - I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas surrounded by family and full of yummy treats (and some special presents!) 

I'll be back next week to pick up where we're leaving off...MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Just a Friendly Reminder

Human is human.
Equal is equal.
Love is love.

The sooner we put aside all of the things we use to "define" ourselves into separate groups, the sooner we can come together as human beings and just exist in this world.

Why can't we have love for our fellow men and women, without labels or judgment or damnation?

Why can't we all have our own opinions, different as they will be, and still just get along. I don't agree you with. I don't believe as you do.

That's okay, the world still keeps spinning.

Why do we insist on spending so much time fighting each other all in the name of defending our opinions or beliefs? It's exhausting - to me, it'd be so much easier just to love one another. Or at the very least, to respect one another enough to not stand in judgment of one another.

Love is love is love.

And who could stand to deny another person of love?

Not me.

{via}

RE: THIS

M O N D A Y - L I N K S

You didn't really think they killed Brian Griffin did you? (Yes, I did, actually)

38 Awesome Christmas Card Ideas - and yes, my kids are #38

Everything Lisa Leonard creates is beyond amazing: I'll take this or this or this!

Still looking for DIY Christmas gift ideas? -> here is an amazing complete list (if you're a bit of a procrastinator like me, but you still enjoy hand-making items!)

These Christmas cookie sandwiches look so pretty and sound so simple to make, I think I might give them a try! (found via Amanda's Friday Fancies list)

Congratulations to Palardy - named the SEC's #1 punter! (GBO!)

Cooking Semi-Disasters Inspired by You

There's a reason you won't find a recipe post on this site (or a "What I Wore" post either, for that matter!) - I am by no means a good cook (or dresser? clothes-wearer? what's the word I'm looking for?) AND I KNOW IT. I'm okay with being mediocre at a lot of things, actually. 

And a lot of you out there are good cooks (and fancy clothes-wearers) apparently, because my IG and FB and Twitter feeds are flooded with lovely photos of delicious-looking meals and treats. One such lady (Rachel/A Southern Fairytale) has had the power to make me drool at my computer (or phone) screen for a few years now. She posts recipes that seem to be family-pleasing and hearty, two things I look for in a good recipe, and while some of her dishes are above my level of experience, I feel like I could recreate nearly all of her recipes with ease. 

So...the other night...I'm innocently trolling along IG...and I see a photo that looks self-explanatory enough. Chips covered in chocolate. Not that hard, right? Even I can do that! I thought quite confidently to myself.  

I have chips. I have chocolate. I'VE GOT THIS ONE IN THE BAG. 

Over-confidence in the kitchen should be the first warning sign of any disaster - you see, I don't own a double-broiler. That's the first thing I realize when I go to melt the chocolate. And I've watched enough Food Network in my day to know that, in order to melt chocolate and not have it taste like burnt tar, you really need a double-broiler. 

PLAN B

I take two of my Paula Deen cookware pots -that are already warped and crooked thanks to my husband, who lovingly tossed them a little too hard several years ago after I let them sit in the sink for a few days...or weeks- and I decided I could just do a make-shift double-broiler. And it kind of worked. Sort of. 

My chocolate started sort of melting. But not really, so I added a dash of milk (making this shit up as I go, believe me) and some chocolate syrup and voila! we have melted-ish chocolate. 

I then grab my bag o' chips to discover A) they're pretty dried out and not so pleasantly crunch anymore and B) they're mostly disintegrated into a thousand morsels at this point.

PLAN C

I take the best of the worst of the chips and just do the damn thing, because I've made it thus far melting my chocolate - I am past the point of no return. The chips aren't big enough to hold by one half and dip by the other, so I keep burning my fingers in the sort-of not-really melted chocolate. And on the bottom of my crooked make-shift double-broiler. 

But I am determined! 

I stand by my stovetop and dip chip after chip, until I've filled the (very last piece left in my container) tin-foil completely with chocolate covered chips. CHOCOLATE CHIPS! Get it?! Hardy HAR Har! 

And then it hits me....

I remember, I don't even like chocolate. How will I even know if this is edible? Or good? Cue: Rhealen Jo - my little up for anything, try everything once taste taster.

She eats one, gives me a "hmmph" kind of shrug and goes back to her cartoons. Well, hell. 

When Justin gets home later that night, I show him my hard-work. See?! See?! SEE:

He, too, was ambivalent at best. And thus, there sat on my counter a pile of "chocolate chips" that no one really cared about eating. I took them to our baby-sitter, and she enjoyed them (thank you Sandy!) - so THERE. 

I suck at life, and I'm never going to even attempt to get creative in my kitchen ever again. That is until the next time I see one of you out there post something delicious-looking, and I mangage to trick my brain into thinking I can do something totally off the wall, like say, recreate a five-course meal with nothing but light bread and Funyuns. 

I am (not the) master of my own kitchen. And I (don't) like it that way.

M O N D A Y - L I N K S

This is Not a Photograph of Morgan Freeman. This is insanely cool!

Why You're So Sad About Paul Walker's Death - Danielle posted this one, and it really made sense once I read it.

Love food? Love Instagram? Buzzfeed gives you 22 Instagram Accounts to Follow in 2014.

The most "powerful" photos and/or the "best" photos from 2013.

One of the cutest candy (or dog treat!) jars EVER.

I used NuvaRing for nearly two years, and this Vanity Fair piece really caught my attention.

I'm so glad Rebecca is back to doing Gone Style posts - they're wonderful!

A Good Handful of Years - the sweetest (or should I say most bittersweet) post!

Don't forget to Elf Yourself this holiday season! Here's our little video!

That's some good-looking broccoli.

Brides Throwing Cats.

Do Parents Pick Favorites? I really needed this read, so glad to have found it (via this post from Rebecca, which is also an excellent read)

Benedict Cumberbatch Reads R Kelly's "Genuis" = GENIUS!

Jaxon - Month 11

This is the last official monthly post before our sweet baby boy turns ONE! next month :) How can that even be possible? 

I love this boy, and I've said it a million (and one) times, but there is just something so *special* about him to me. He really and truly is a "momma's boy", and I never understood what that meant 'til I had a son of my own. I used to think it couldn't be that different having daughters vs having sons, and my girls were what I always called "momma's girls" (and still do!), BUT it really is different with a baby boy.  I need to write a post about that, I have so much more to say...

BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT JAXON!

At eleven months old, Jaxon is thiiiiis close to walking. He's so brave (and so bull-headed) that he's going to walk sooner rather than later...even if it kills him! I've never seen a baby so strong-willed and determined to do something in my life! He throws caution to the wind, and where I've watched babies slowly ease into new things, he charges full force with gusto and grit. Believe me, he has the bruises and scratches to prove it. There is no full-proof baby-proof anything when it comes to dealing with him -- he's adventurous, a true explorer. 

Jax had fun helping me open Jameson's new carseat! 

We recently lowered his crib (and removed all the extra frills, like the bumper pad) because this baby of mine is inching closer to big-boy status, and it's breaking my heart! 

He has four teeth (two on top and two on bottom) yet thinks he can eat things like candy-canes and pork rinds. Seriously, this kid ate an entire candy cane by himself -- his big sister RJ had one, so he had to have his own, too! And there was no "let momma hold it while he licks it" kind of eating -- he held it, he bit pieces off and chewed them up. I nearly had a heart attack watching him do it! 

Jax loves his animals still, especially dogs -- we let Buddy in the other (cold) morning when Justin was out of town (he doesn't allow animals in the house!) and Jax followed that poor dog around the house the entire time! 

His role as "little brother" is quickly turning into one as "little bother", which is equal parts adorable and aggravating. I love to see him attempting to play with his sisters, but his style of baby-roughness doesn't always mesh well with their baby dolls and block-building. He's a bit of a "King Kong" in their downtown Manhattan, so things can get ugly quick. Still, the relationship he has with his sisters is too precious for words, and I'm so thankful to watch my children grow and learn together. It's just the greatest gift one could hope for. 

I can't wait to experience his first Christmas with him - his first birthday - his first time meeting the new baby of the family ;) This has has been a wonderful year of "firsts" with my first (and only! he will be the only!) son, and I've done my best to treasure every second of it. 

The bond I have with this boy is immeasurable, something so rare and unique to me, I find it hard to put into words. I love him, and he loves me, and I hope he always stays a true momma's boy. 

Happy 11 months, Jaxie Buddy! 

Currently

33 weeks and "rocking" the bathroom selfie! This is the same bathroom that I took this pregnant-selfie with RJ back in 2011 :)

Loving: How "infected" Sidney is with Christmas spirit -- we try to do something Christmas-y every day, either listen to a few holiday jingles or (our favorite!) watch a Christmas movie together in the evenings. Sometimes we go wild and even bake sugar cookies -- just because! Christmas with your kids is one of THE MOST magical things on earth....unless your kid is like a certain two-year-old of ours and a total Scrooge! But I digress...

Reading: NOTHING. I'm a total failure at the moment and reading nothing. Wait, do other blogs count?! I totally do that. 

Watching: Well, The Walking Dead aired the mid-season premiere last Sunday, so there's nothing to live for between now and February. I'm kidding, I'm kidding (sort of) -- actually, the last few episodes leading up to last Sunday were so dull and dreary, I was thiiiiis close to crying foul. Luckily, that all changed! The Governor is dead! Daryl got to show off his badass skills! Rick came full circle and made Hershel proud (poor H)! Now there are a million and one questions and lots of new avenues to explore -- I'm excited once again! 

Eating: Frosted Flakes -- I know I'm nearing the end, I can't get enough of my beloved cereal. It's the one consistent craving/love I've had all four pregnancies.  

Anticipating: I won't say BIRTH or CHRISTMAS, so let's go with Jaxon's first birthday! It's hard to believe our little dude will be ONE next month -- he's just the bee's knees, and I'm so in love with having a son. I can't wait to celebrate his first year with (hopefully) fanfare!

Listening to: Timber - Pitbull/Ke$ha I HAVE NO SHAME, DON'T BOTHER JUDGING ME! 

Working on: Not biting my nails! I'm about 3-4 weeks into it, and so good so far. I've got nails for the first time ever in my life. Seriously, I can't remember a time when I didn't bite them, so to be 25 and finally overcoming this trivial little habit of mine feels like a major accomplishment!  

Wishing: For you all to have a warm and wonderful holiday season -- this time of year is precious and meant to be cherished, and I know that I'm doing my personal best to enjoy every second of it! I hope you do, too :)

Currently series inspired by Danielle.

lately

A good blogger would have posted an official Thanksgiving review post complete with lovely photos and tidbits of a glorious day. I am not a good blogger....obviously!

Our day was glorious, the food delicious, the family wonderful -- but I didn't take any photos. As goes of late, Justin and I are too busy taking turns stuffing our faces and chasing our kids to do much official photo-taking. It's something I want to remedy -- snap a picture (or maybe even two!) each holiday. 

We shall see...

Anyway, here's a generic "lately" post, which I haven't done in quite a while -- but something needs to go here, so here goes:

Our new Christmas tree! We upgraded this year and bought a 7.5 ft fancy KMart pre-lit monstrostiy - and I love it. This was taken pretty much straight out of the box before we fluffled any branches or added any ornaments. Still so pretty (and yes, I admit, this year I put up the tree two weeks before Thanksgiving - WHO AM I?!) 

To make room for the above-seen Christmas tree, we had to rearrange our living room a little -- Rhealen is very pleased with the new arrangement and has taken to sitting like this often. She's an odd ball, little thing.

He is THE cutest little thing in hats and beanies and toboggans, but he absolutely HATES wearing them - you have to tie them tight up under his chin and even then, he's figured out how to wiggle out of them. 

Oh, these two -- two of a kind, exactly alike, cut from the same cloth. You know the old sayings. They play better together than any daddy + daughter duo you've ever seen, but they also fight like cats and dogs. Living with the oldest one here has taught me a lot about how to raise the youngest one. Lord help me!

This is the "cake" I made for Thanksgiving dinner - and I use the term cake loosely, because it's more a chocolate catastrophe covered in Reece's Pieces. It worked, I guess. (I wouldn't know, I don't like chocolate!)

Cutie! And this one likes hats :)

Justin went out of town this past Saturday to visit some extended family, so while the Daddy was away -- Buddy got let in to play! Justin is very anti-dog-in-the-house (something about allergies! psh!) but we snuck in our favorite pooch for some kisses. It was a cold morning anyway! 

These two enjoy time spent in the kitchen with me - they'll gladly lick spoons and bowls and taste-test 'til they're stuffed. 

My sweet boy & me before the morning drop-off :) 

I talk a lot about what it's like for me to raise "babies" and how stressful it can be parenting our "toddler", but lately I haven't really touched on the subject of parenting our TOTALLY GROWN UP ADULT-KID six-year-old. 

I guess I just feel more comfortable with myself and my experience parenting babies/toddlers -- if this makes any sense at all, the baby stage is one I've done three (soon to be four) times over. I've managed to successfully complete that birth->10 months phase (seeing as Jaxon is ten months old now) -- I feel confident that I can do that part, easy as pie. 

Having a six-year-old is new territory -- she's the oldest, the firstborn. Everything with her at this point is a brand-new experience, and sometimes, it's just overwhelming! Not always a bad overwhelming, mind you, just exhausting with its information and education and experience -- parenting never stops, and if you allow it to happen, it will change the way you do/see/feel everything forever, every second of every single day for the rest! of! your! life!

I will admit I have a lot of guilt relating to Sidney at the moment; I feel a lot of anxiety, and I'm really struggling to find my balance with her at the moment. She's reached that age where she's quite independent in a lot of ways, but I still feel incredibly responsible for doing a majority of things for her. I'm constantly trying to figure out what things she can (and rightfully should!) do for herself on her own without feeling like a monster mom for putting too much on her. 

(For example: I usually dress Sidney every day of her life. Every clothing item. It never really occurred to me that she could do it on her own or that maybe I should stop doing it for her until Justin pointed it out to me -- you know, "she's six years old! stop putting on her socks for her!" kind of thing)

I guess what I'm trying to say here is I have a really hard time accepting the fact that my baby is not a baby anymore -- and I'm struggling with the transition as a mother, for sure. I definitely want her to be self-sufficient and capable and helpful and a hundred other "big girl" things, but I also want her to be little and need me for everything. I want her to see that doing things on her own for herself is not a "punishment", something she definitely struggles with. She doesn't see the fair side of me doing so much for Rhealen or Jaxon and then asking her to do so much for herself. 

AND I GET THAT. 

I struggle with that concept, too, honestly! I remind Sidney all the time, "when the little ones are older they will do these things, too. They will clean up after themselves. They will carry their own bags. They will, they will, they will, I promise!" But I see her side of it, too; I know how unfair it must feel, and the last thing I want in the world is to breed resentment among my children. 

Am I insane? Tell me honestly. 

I'm an only child, so again, I really struggle with the dynamics of siblings -- it's one of those things I don't think you can truly understand unless you've lived it. I do my best and try to take in all the advice I can. What things  can I do to help Sidney gain even more independence? How do I handle my guilt asking her to do so much for herself when her siblings aren't on the same level as she is, and I know she feels it's "not fair, Mom!"?

Believe me, I'm open to suggestions here!

*****

She is the one I dread waking each morning - the one who greets the day with piss and vinegar and a total disdain for the rising sun. 

She is curled in a ball some mornings, her legs tucked up under her small body, little bare toes peeking out from underneath her bottom. Some mornings she is scattered, sprawled in a half dozen different directions of tangled legs and arms and hair. 

She is warm and pink and has the slightest smell of sweet candy about her, candy that was no doubt eaten in her bed, in the dark, in the last moments before bedtime. 

The little thief. The sneaky one. The sleeping tornado. 

I try and try to coax her awake, gently calling her name at first, soft and loving and full of hope that maybe this is the morning she'll wake up full of sunshine and butterflies. 

Silence. 

So I call again, a little louder. And then a little louder. And a little more sternly. Until finally, I'm yelling her name and cursing her morning habits and thinking why can't she be more like her siblings? 

But she isn't. No matter how much I wish or will it to be, she just isn't my morning glory child. She is ill and cantankerous and grouchy and all the old adjectives used to describe a slumbering bear or "old coot". 

She is vile, a true morning grinch, through and through. 

But while she sleeps, in those last few moments before she wakes up, she is peaceful. She is angelic. She is perfectly golden in the early morning light. 

I kiss her cheeks and lips. I feel her chest rise and fall, watch her legs and arms stretch and retreat. I brush the hair from her forehead, kneel down beside her bed and take her close to my heart once more. I remind myself she is perfect as she is, and these quirks make her just so. 

All of this personality and spunk will serve her well - she will grow into the human being she is meant to be, flaws and all, and these little fits of spirit that fight against my temper almost daily will one day prove to be what makes her.

In the moments of fit and rage, I try to remember her as the sleeping toddler. Perfectly content in her bed, surrounded by a dozen blankets and pillows and toys. I envision her deep in her dreams and picture her soul as calm as the sea. 

In those moments, I know she is happy - she is at peace with the storm within her. I thank my lucky stars she is mine. I feel so honored to be guiding her and to be guided by her. I do my best to mold and teach her daily, but in the usual way, it is she who teaches me.

My sleeping tornado. My Rhealen Jo. 

Aw Naw

I know it was just a couple weeks ago I shared some other country music videos -- but here I am again! Doing the same thing!

I know I've stated it before a million and one times, but I have really ecclectic mood swings when it comes to music. I like a lot of different genres and artists, and I'm really not very discriminatory when it comes to my musical preferences. If I like, I like it. I don't push the thought process too far beyond that.

And it seems to me I go through musical swings -- I'll be into country for awhile, then pop, then rock. And while I'm in the middle of those swings, I still listen to all the other genres out there. I never limit myself! 

And yes, right now I seem to be on a bit of a country upswing at the moment. Some of it, I'm really loving -- and some of it I'm really hating.

Chris Young is one of those artists I've been listening to a lot lately -- particularly this little twang filled ditty:

And while I adore "Aw Naw" I can't stand this one by Luke Bryan (which some people say is rather similar). 

Just, no. I guess there really is no rhyme or reason when it comes to my musical tastes. I just happen to like what I like. 

Any songs on your radar at the moment that you're loving? It doesn't have to be country, believe me, I'll listen to anything...once :)

Jaxon - Month 10

10 months old! Double-digits, baby! Look at our boy grow :)

Seriously, this kid is just the best ever -- he's the happiest little fella, which is quite the turnaround from his first few months. I used to dread to see the setting sun, as I knew it'd be the start of Jaxon's nightly cry/scream routine. No more! Those days are long gone, thankfully.

These days, Jaxon sleeps 7-6 (he lost an hour of that blessed 12-hour stretch with the time change) and always ALWAYS wakes up in the happiest of moods. I've never seen this kid get up in a cranky mood -- he's a smiling, blossoming guy who just wants to start the day out with a smile (and a warm bottle of milk!)

At his nine-month checkup (which was actually sometime between month 9 and 10) he was just shy of 22 lbs and caught up on almost all of his milestone developments (being a "preemie" by technicality, they keep tabs on him) -- his babysitter is constantly reporting on all his daily activity, so we keep a watchful eye out to make sure he's not lagging behind in any areas. I'm very proud to say, he's right on track to where he needs to be, and in my opinion, ahead of the curve in a few areas! 

And we have a fully mobile baby -- this little dude can crawl from one end of the house to the other in record time. He loves to creep into his sisters' room after his morning bottle to help me wake them up :) He's pulling up on all the furniture, and he's already had his share of bumps and bruises from falling face-down. He has such a desire to walk, even though he's barely mastered the art of the crawl. It won't be too long, though, no matter how long I try to discourage him...

Although I like to think I'm still Jaxon's favorite person in the whole wide world, he's started to take an interest in the menfolk around him. I can tell he's going to be a guy's guy -- all boy, through and through, it's kind of funny to see those tendencies pop up so early in his life. I can already see him following his daddy into the garage or up into the woods to do manly things together (and I know Justin is counting down the days 'til Jax is old enough to join him!) 

It's bittersweet to think we'll be celebrating his first birthday in just a few short weeks -- two months will fly by (they always do when it's holiday time!) and our sweet fella will be ONE! We have no idea how to plan a birthday party for a baby with a winter birthday (both the girls have summer birthdays!) -- it's going to be interesting to see how his birthdays go. I feel kind of bad for him having a birthday so close to Christmas and in such a potentially dreary-weather month. 

Good thing he's his own little ray of sunshine wherever he goes :)

Thriving vs Surviving

Previously, I touched on the subject of finding my groove, especially when it comes to our morning and night routines. With the recent time change, that groove has been shaken up, so while we're still in the middle of readjusting, things are getting closer to what I would call our new normal. 

Part of this new normal means I've been working really hard to get in bed as early as possible and soak up every second of sleep while I can. With the impending arrival of another baby, I know sleep is precious at this point, and I don't want to waste any of it, as selfish as that sounds! :)

With an earlier bedtime, I'm finding it easier to get up with Jaxon and his new wake-up time of 6:00 AM (thank you ever so much, daylight savings time!) -- it's even given me the opportunity to spend a few extra minutes with Justin, seeing as how he tries to be out the door by 5:30 when he can, but sometimes stumbles around and doesn't leave 'til 6:00. That's an especially nice bonus because he's been working 14 hour days here lately, and it's really hard not spending any time with him -- I know the kids miss him, even though the girls would probably never admit it!

All of this is to say, I am the primary parent to our kids most of the time -- they spend the majority of their day with me, and I'm the sole person responsible for making sure they're ready in the morning and put to bed at night. It can be exhausting, for sure, and some days it does start to feel like more of a chore than a delight. I'm doing my best to really try to be present in each moment with my kids (no matter how mundane they may be) because this is my life, the life I've wanted and chosen and dreamed of. These are my kids, all four of these little rascals, and as chaotic and wild as it can be, these are my moments to enjoy. 

Sure, bath time can be monotonous, and no one enjoys changing a diaper for the 100th time (it seems) that day -- but even these little moments present opportunities to relish and enjoy. I try to remind myself to enjoy all of it -- even when the kids are screaming and I've stuck my hand in the messy diaper and supper is boiling over on the stove and there's homework to be done and bedtime was supposed to be thirty minutes ago. It's easy to lose sight of the joy a large family can bring when you're in those moments -- and it's even easier to just whisk through all of it on autopilot. 

So much of parenting is a checklist of cleaning, feeding, organizing, refereeing, over and over, day after day. It gets old quick...if you let it. 

I'm doing my best to not let it be just a checklist, but more of a bucket list that's never ending, always repeating but with new items, new moments to treasure and keep. Every day is a new list, a clean slate, the fresh opportunity to do the best I can and enjoy all of it to the best of my ability. 

Absolutely, I fail. I get lost in the shuffle, and I complain to my mom and other mom-friends (and to Twitter) about how HARD this is -- because it is hard, and I'm exhausted and the kids are just wiiiiiiild. That's life, that's my everyday normal, and I know there are going to be plenty more days like that. Momma said there'd be days like this....

I just remind myself, it's all in how I choose to handle it -- and for most of the days, I like to think I choose joy. I choose to enjoy and thrive, not just survive.

And I hope these little tykes know just how much their momma adores them! 

Tweetsie

A few Sundays ago, Gran & Pops loaded us ladies up and took off to Blowing Rock, NC to visit Tweetsie Railroad -- we tried to go once before earlier in the summer, but the rain stopped us before we ever even made it to the park.

This time, it only rained for about the first five minutes we were there, and then we enjoyed nothing but clear skies and mild temps the entire day! 

As you can see, the girls obviously had a blast -- I'd highly recommend Tweetsie Railroad to any family in the region looking for a great little getaway!


***A funny little sidenote: Sidney insisted she and Rhealen wear their tye-dye t-shirts -- every year, my mom's third grade class takes a field trip to Tweetsie and make their own shirts to wear for the trip. Most years, Sidney gets to tag along, too, and she always makes her own shirt (Rhealen got a shirt made, too, even though she didn't go on the field trip) -- it was just too cute that Sidney was so insistent they wear their "field trip" shirts that day, too :)

Halloween 2013

Hooray, the rain held off! We were able to do a little trick-or-treating under perfect conditions with three happy little grublets who all seemed to have a good time :)

Our Draculaura, witch and dalmatian were too cute for words and behaved even sweeter than they looked! Sidney wanted to trick-or-treat at the speed of light, often running ahead of little Rhealen by about 20 steps -- but Rhealen didn't seem to mind. She tried to swap out candy at every house, offering something from her bucket in exchange for new candy :) Jaxon was perfectly happy just hanging out in the back seat of our new (to us!) stroller, eating M&Ms and cheese puffs. That white costume didn't stay very white for too long...

We made it to about 30 or so houses before Jaxon (and my pregnant self) hit "the wall" and then we were done in an instant -- we had as much fun as we could int the hour or so we made it -- and we wouldn't have been able to coordinate or pull off any of it successfully without my wonderfully sweet mom and step-dad. They made it work for us working parents, we just love them!

And a wonderful Halloween was had by all -- we're already looking forward to next year and FOUR little costumed kiddos to chase around :)

Halloween//TBT

It's Halloween!

And it's Throwback Thursday!

So let's just combine the two and look at some photos of Halloween celebrations gone by....

2006-2012

Halloween (especially with kids involved!) feels a bit like a marathon workout -- there's the running of the children, the corralling of the candy, the constant checking and head-counting and making sure to keep an eye out for all the other dozens of trick-of-treaters running amuck (amuck! amuck! amuck!) -- seriously, it's a workout!

But just like most other things in life, having kids to celebrate holidays with makes them 1,000x more enjoyable (in my opinion!) I love being on the parent side of the equation, and it's awesome making memories with my own family :)

This year, I'm really really really hoping the weather cooperates just long enough for us to get our trick-or-treating done -- the weather was absolutely beautiful in the days leading up to Halloween today, why can't we just have a few more hours of that sweetness before the rain gets here? Pretty please and thank you!

Look for another round of costume pictures tomorrow!

The Crazy Side of My Brain

Can we talk for a minute? I've got some hair-brained thoughts bouncing around in my head right now, and while I know I'm being the most irrational thinker ever, I think it's worth discussing -- maybe you feel like this sometimes, too? Maybe you have experienced or are experiencing crazy brain (whether pregnancy related or not!) like me? 

Good, let's chat.

Let me start off by saying, my pregnant brain is one jealous bitch!!

My husband probably wouldn't want me talking about this, but only because it further perpetuates the idea that I'm psycho -- I'm sure he has enough of a time as it is explaining to others, "please just excuse my wife at the moment, she's kind of pregnant and kind of impossible" :)

With my first pregnancy, I was young and dumb enough as it were, but there was something about the chemical and hormonal imbalance that just drove me over the edge. Justin could be ten seconds late showing up somewhere, and I was instantly convinced he was CHEATING! LIAR! 

Hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman convinced her baby's daddy is an unfaithful liar! 

Of course, I feel pretty bad about the whole thing now -- I put Justin through a lot that first pregnancy and made things even harder than they had to be. I was a big pain in the ass, and I know it. And luckily, with the next two pregnancies that followed, I didn't really have any of those lingering insane thoughts. My levels must've been more on the balanced side, and I didn't spend a lot of time internally reminding myself that I'm married to a good man, a man that doesn't stray, a man that can be a few minutes late home from work and it doesn't have to equal him poking every pocket between here and there. 

With this pregnancy? The crazy lady has returned. Full force. 

I know he's not cheating. Well, I guess technically you never really know if a person is cheating or not -- but I honestly don't worry about my husband cheating. The perfectly rational side of me knows I have a good husband, a faithful man by my side who loves me and isn't going to step out on me (or his family). Believe me, I know this. 

It's my psycho hose-beast of a pregnant brain that doesn't quite grasp that concept. Case in point: I bumped into my husband at the gas station in town and my inner monologue started screaming, "WHAT THE EFF IS HE DOING HERE?!" 

"Umm...he's getting gas? It is a gas station, after all."

"NO! THERE ARE FEMALES IN THIS VACINITY! HE'S CHEATING!"

"I'm pretty sure he's just paying for his gas but okay...."

"LOOK AT THAT GIRL! SHE'S A TOTAL SLUT! YOU KNOW HE'S CHEATING ON YOU WITH HER! HER OF ALL PEOPLE!"

"Hey, I like her! She was so sweet back in school..."

Do you see what my brain does? This is but a mere glimpse into my daily life -- seriously, my brain is so fucking weird sometimes, I need to be evaluated professionally. Studied, I need to be studied. I'm a therapist's best/worst dream. 

Anyone else have this problem? Do you struggle with your brain (pregnant or not) over completely irrational things like this? Please tell me I'm not alone when it comes to knowing better than the lies our brains try to tell us -- the really dumb, irrational, jealous-fueled lies! 

And for the record, my dear sweet husband was actually just buying some mozzarella sticks on his way home. 

OR SO HE SAID. 

TT #40

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Have you got your fill of Hocus Pocus yet?!?! Make sure to overdose this week, Halloween only comes once a year! 

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This would be my husband's luck -- seriously, he's the most unlucky guy in the world when it comes to certain things (and fishing, one of his many passions, is certainly one of them!)

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Amen, I already have to make 47 trips from the car->house carrying the kids and all their crap. One extra bag of anything throws off the whole equation!

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I don't know why this strikes me so funny -- it's probably 1,000x less funny than I give it credit for! But I. cannot. stop. laughing.

Currently

Halloween 2012

Loving: How excited Sidney is for Halloween -- she's finally got the whole spirit of Halloween down to a "T"! She loves the thought of dressing up and trick-or-treating. She has a little dance at school this week, and she's just been so into all things Halloween related. I love that she shares an appreciation for such a fun holiday with me :) 

Reading: "The Accursed" by Joyce Carol Oates -- it's been slow starting out, but I'm getting into it slowly but surely. I've been trying to carve out some time late in the evenings for a little "me" time with a bath and a book. It'll probably take me six months to finish this book (if I only read while bathing!) but it's enjoyable thus far. 

Watching: I've got three shows I'm following right now (thank goodness for the DVR!) and so far, they're all going really good! Sunday nights are for The Walking Dead (of course!) at 9pm and then Masters of Sex at 10pm -- two totally opposite shows but both are so, so good. I just happened into watching Masters of Sex, but so far, it's been really good! And of course, Wednesday nights belong to AHS: Coven -- I watched AHS: Murder House on Netflix in two days, and I still need to catch up on AHS: Asylum. I'm a big Ryan Murhpy fan, the man can do no wrong in my book! 

Eating: Blueberry shredded wheat cereal, blueberry bagels, blueberry cream cheese. These past couple of weeks have been nothing but blueberry! blueberry! blueberry! 

Anticipating: I know we haven't even technically made it to Halloween yet, but I am SO (recently) EXCITED for Christmas. Being on the parent side of the parent/child equation of Christmas is such a joy, it's hard not to be excited about such a magical time of year. The kids make Christmas the most wonderful time of the year, and while I refuse to wish time away and skip over these next two autumnal/winter holidays, I do look forward to Christmas with my family. 

Listening to: NPR -- who is this person I've become??

Working on: Mentally preparing for a fourth baby -- I feel like I just now got the hang of three kiddos (and I guess I really just did) so throwing a wrench into our routine feels like a bit of a looming cloud overhead. I know it'll work out, and I'll figure out my groove eventually, but when you're the parent responsible for the weekday morning routine (solo!) it can be intimidating. The kids and I do it 99% of the time -- we manage to get up and dressed and out the door on-time almost every single M-F morning, but I just don't know how we're going to do it with five of us. But, the show must go on -- c'est la vie! Bring it on! 

Wishing: The winter months weren't so dreary -- I've tried to teach myself that the winter months don't have to be so dreadful. Happiness and warmth and sunshine can come from within. I can surround myself in warm thoughts, scenes of summer, and things will instantly feel better. One of the greatest and warmest pictures I keep in my mind is soaking up the sun through closed eyes -- that wonderful, warm feeling of closing your eyes but "looking" up towards the sun. The light pours through your closed eyes and just envelopes your face and body -- it's the dreamiest, warmest summer memory I keep to get me through the cold, dark days of winter. 

Currently series inspired by Danielle.

Idling Thoughts

This is my 91st post this year - which is pretty pathetic compared to 2009 when I published a grand total of 279 blog posts. Ummm....I definitely don't think I'll be hitting that benchmark this year! For the most part, my post numbers have been declining steadily each year - and this year, they took a MAJOR drop. 

And that's okay. Life has been majorly busy this year, and if I'm being totally honest with myself, it's only going to get busier next year. And the year after that. I'm in this wonderful time of babies, and unfortunately, there have been a lot of things that have fallen by the wayside due to the demands having a family. 

I struggle almost daily with the guilt over being a terrible friend to my closest buddies. I rarely ever get to see them, fail miserably at calling or texting them, and pretty much just stink overall at being a friend. I want to be a good friend, and I hope my lady friends know I'm here for them even if I haven't been present every single day. 

I wish there were more hours in a day for time with my husband. Or even just time with my little family altogether. I wouldn't mind some "me" time, too. 

And we do carve out little spaces of time for these things. I'm not whining or complaining in the least, just recognizing that having a big family is demanding and time-consuming. I love it, I really truly do - things are always full and bustling and there's never a dull moment, it seems. In between the chaos, there are moments of peace + bliss, and I appreciate those moments 1,000x more than I ever did before there were three kids pulling at my pant-leg. 

This blog is precious to me - I love it dearly and hope to always have it be a placeholder in my life, a space for me to keep up with myself and my life. It's my online diary for the world to read, and while I don't share everything about my life, I share a great deal of it - a lot of things I would have forgotten about in natural time are preserved here forevermore. 

And while the stories may be fewer, and the spaces between those stories may get farther and farther apart, the point of it all is to keep writing, keep documenting the moments when I can. And knowing, I'll never regret one single post here, ever. 

What Southern girl doesn't relate to this? Our mommas (and especially our grand-mommas) definitely get a little shock and awe from how we handle things now vs then. 

I'm on a bit of a Miranda Lambert kick at the moment -- these two songs make me smile + cry respectively. 

Riding in the car the other evening with my kiddos, we listened to this song -- I found myself crying behind my sunglasses, pretty much yelling at Sidney, "you know it really does take all kinds of kinds, right?!?!" 

Crazy mom award, right here, ladies and gentlemen. 

Just keeping that Southern tradition going, I guess -- but I like to think it's got a little modern twist on it*

TT #39

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"Just so you know, I liked you first" -- thank THE WALKING DEAD gods! The first opening minutes of season 4 and I got such a #Caryl high it wasn't even funny -- it's going to happen this season, I just *know* it. 

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I found this 100 times funnier than it probably is -- but c'mon! I don't know who's cuter, the baby or those doggies :)

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Justin & I got so excited the other night imagining Halloween in a few years when we can dress our three ladies up as the Sanderson sisters and Jaxon up as Billy (!!!)

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The most horrifying idea EVER. Team M&M for life.

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Happy 1,000 posts, blog!!! 

The More, The Merrier, and the More Absent-Minded

I remember the day I found out I was carrying my first little girl inside me -- I don't remember the exact date, but I remember the day. Visions of pink and frills and bows and princesses and all the things that make life wonderfully girly danced in my head. Mom and I went straight to the store and started buying pink! and purple! and little tutus! and socks with lace! 

And it was wonderful. 

I dreamed of a perfectly perfect princess themed nursery, and so we made it happen. Bright yellow walls. Princess border. Complete nursery set with sheets and pillows and a hanging quilt and the bumper -- all of it pink and princess and exactly how I planned.

I would sit in that nursery for hours. I sat in my pink and white glider reading or folding freshly Dreft-washed clothes. I rearranged furniture and added knick-knacks. I hung out in that nursery anticipating my little lady's arrival for what seems like endless days at a time. There was nothing to do but wait. Imagine and wait and try to be patient from week twenty to week thirty-nine (when she finally arrived)...

And now, three pregnancies away from that one, I sit back and laugh at myself. There really is nothing like the anticipation of your first child! 

Because as cliche as it is, after the first one gets here, you really don't have the same time (or energy) to daydream about the second. Of course, you still do, to some small degree. But it really is different than the first pregnancy. 

And by the time you get to your third pregnancy, well you can just forget it. 

Fourth? I'm pregnant? Is that what this is? 

Jaxon sleeps in a hand-me-down crib complete with hand-me-down bedding and blankets left over from his sisters. His room is not decorated. At all. There's zero thought to it, because who the hell has time to think about decorating the third kid's nursery?

And little Jameson? She's also going to sleep in a hand-me-down crib (one that Rhealen slept in, but was used even before Rhealen for other children in our circle of friends) -- luckily for her, she'll get to use her biggest sister's hand-me-down princess bedding, which Mom and I just unearthed by chance the other day cleaning out Sidney's room at Mom's house (where her original dream nursery was). 

Poor Rhealen never had crib bedding. Hell, she didn't get a crib until she was almost eight months old! 

It's just funny, as I get further and further away from the halfway point of this pregnancy (I'm 25+ weeks roughly) I find myself so uninterested in baby things. I want to get Jameson a new carseat (the only thing I ever insist on buying new for each of the kids!), but other than that? I've got the desire to do nothing else. I don't want to talk nursery decor or outfits or anything even remotely baby-related. 

Because truthfully? You don't need 99% of that bullshit. It's all a commercial craze to make first-time moms spend money hand over first for things their baby doesn't want, need or care about. 

But it was nice once upon a time -- back when I was newly pregnant. That state of bliss was truly special, and I try to recognize it for the amazing time it was back then, back when there were no other kiddos with demands on my time, and all I had to do was sit around lazily and daydream of the baby growing in my belly.

Because nowadays, in the immortal words of Kimberly "Sweet Brown" Wilkins, ain't nobody got time for that.