Toby's Birth Story

December is Toby's birth-month and so, in his honor, I'm finally posting his Birth Story -- this post has been a year in the making; lots of rereading, editing, and remembering. I look back on that day/night with such fondness, such a bittersweet sense of familiarity and yet surprise. Continue below the jump to read the entire story....


I can hardly believe I'm writing my fourth birth story - or that this is my last birth story. But, here it is, the story of how our little Toby Fields made his grand entrance into this world...

Baby-ness

There are times I get psychically shaken that Toby is our last baby (when am I going to shutup about this topic, I know, insert your eyeroll here) -- after babies, babies, babies non-stop for nearly seven years, it feels so strange to be in a "last" place with Toby. 

His first time rolling over is the last time one of our children will do that. His first time smiling was the last time. First > last. Over and done. 

And that's bittersweet. Our children are babies, and there's so, so much more to experience with them. Life is good, great, awesome now. I expect it to be 100x more good, great, awesome as the kids grow. I can't wait to see personalities develop and talents bloom. Justin and I both look forward to getting to "know" our kids as they grow. There is so much to look forward to. 

But still, Toby is my last little baby and just a constant reminder that he's it. He's the end. And the beginning, if that makes any sense. He's the end of the babies but the beginning of so much more for our family. It all starts and stops with him.

And if I'm being perfectly honest here, I am looking forward to being without a baby in the future, too. No more two-hour-interval feedings. No more crying without explanation or understanding. No more formula or diapers. There's quite a few things that I look forward to when the time comes that we don't have a baby in the house. 

But mostly, I know I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss gummy, slobber-covered grins. I'm going to miss that smooth, perfect baby skin. And the midnight snuggles. And the joy of a baby on my hip. 

I'm just doing my best to soak up and appreciate Toby in his baby-ness every moment. 

(Someone promise to let me hold your baby when mine are all grown!) 

4

Four peas in a pod.

Four unique beings tied by the strings of my heart. I created these little humans (with a little help from my husband, if I must give credit where credit is due!) - I grew them within me. I felt them move for the first time, felt their hiccups. I labored with them, delivered them safely into this great big world with all the wishes and hopes and dreams a momma can have for her babies. 

Four times over I was lucky enough to create life, to deliver life, to nourish a dream into reality. 

My four. The final four. 

Jaxon's Birth Story (01/09/2013)

This post is 1+ year in the making...I've literally been sitting on it that long! I meant to post this around his first birthday, but it just didn't happen (oops!) So here it finally is, the birth story of my firstborn son...and now I really need to get on Toby's birth story. 


It all started on a Tuesday evening. I was sitting on the couch, just taking it easy and gearing up for bedtime, when I started to feel contractions. Out of the blue, moderately strong, timeable contractions! After never going into labor on my own before, it was quite the shock :) Justin kept side-eyeing me, asking me what I thought was going to happen - I joked we'd either have a baby or the contractions would just go away...

Zzzz..........NOT!

So.........this is what no sleep looks like, eh? 

I would post you a picture of myself looking all baggy-eyed and sleep-deprived, but I don't think a photo would do justice to the way I feel. I'm operating on the most erratic sleep schedule ever right now, fueled by caffeine and some primal instinct to just keep pushing forward. 

Toby has no sleep "schedule" and most nights, his longest continuous sleep stretches only two hours, max. Most of the time it's an hour, sometimes even less -- we've been trying to implement a nighttime routine to help. We've done bathtime and playtime and bottles with cereal. I let him soothe himself to sleep and put on the sound machine. So far, no dice. I know he'll get there, and honestly, I don't have unrealistic expectations that my >2 month old should be sleeping 8-12 hours. I've done this a time or two, I know how all of this works! 

I would just like consistency is all -- knowing I could get two hours consistently would be a blessing at this point (for my sanity) !!

Added to this no-sleeping-Toby mix is my poor teething boy, Jaxon -- the girls never really seemed to have an issue cutting any of their teeth, but this poor fella has been up the past few nights screaming non-stop in pain. I hate to see him hurting, and I do what I can to soothe him, but in my near-comatose state of mind in the middle of the night, who knows how helpful I really am (??)

This will all pass in time. These are precious days I will want back sooner rather than later. I am going to miss all of this one day. I KNOW, I KNOW. 

But I also miss sleep. Sweet, beautiful, warm, uninterrupted sleep.  

I'm just looking forward to being further down the road, looking back on this post, and thinking "you made it, girl. your kids are sleeping!" -- you want to know what I dream about (when I actually sleep long enough to dream?) it's THAT. 

Tonight, for the first time, I looked down at you and felt that lump rise into my throat. I felt the tears sting at my eyes, and I recognized in an instant that old familiar feeling - love.

Tonight, I fell in love with you. 

Just an ordinary night, sitting on the couch, holding you while you slept on my chest. And yet, there it was. There it happened again. Once more, my heart grew and you fell into the place waiting for you. 

I don't know if it's me or if other mommas experience these kinds of moments, too - but I know enough about myself as a mother to recognize the difference between loving your child unconditionally from day one versus falling in love with your children over and over again as they grow. 

I have loved you, my boy, from the moment I found out I was pregnant.

But tonight, I fell in love with you for the first time. Tonight, you made your way to me - from an unexpected, unplanned miracle to a fuzzy, warm babe in my arms. You found me, and I found you. And I didn't think I could love another boy the way I do your father and brother, yet you've proven me wrong already.

 Little Toby, I love you. Thank you for being the best surprise of my life.

I talk a lot about what it's like for me to raise "babies" and how stressful it can be parenting our "toddler", but lately I haven't really touched on the subject of parenting our TOTALLY GROWN UP ADULT-KID six-year-old. 

I guess I just feel more comfortable with myself and my experience parenting babies/toddlers -- if this makes any sense at all, the baby stage is one I've done three (soon to be four) times over. I've managed to successfully complete that birth->10 months phase (seeing as Jaxon is ten months old now) -- I feel confident that I can do that part, easy as pie. 

Having a six-year-old is new territory -- she's the oldest, the firstborn. Everything with her at this point is a brand-new experience, and sometimes, it's just overwhelming! Not always a bad overwhelming, mind you, just exhausting with its information and education and experience -- parenting never stops, and if you allow it to happen, it will change the way you do/see/feel everything forever, every second of every single day for the rest! of! your! life!

I will admit I have a lot of guilt relating to Sidney at the moment; I feel a lot of anxiety, and I'm really struggling to find my balance with her at the moment. She's reached that age where she's quite independent in a lot of ways, but I still feel incredibly responsible for doing a majority of things for her. I'm constantly trying to figure out what things she can (and rightfully should!) do for herself on her own without feeling like a monster mom for putting too much on her. 

(For example: I usually dress Sidney every day of her life. Every clothing item. It never really occurred to me that she could do it on her own or that maybe I should stop doing it for her until Justin pointed it out to me -- you know, "she's six years old! stop putting on her socks for her!" kind of thing)

I guess what I'm trying to say here is I have a really hard time accepting the fact that my baby is not a baby anymore -- and I'm struggling with the transition as a mother, for sure. I definitely want her to be self-sufficient and capable and helpful and a hundred other "big girl" things, but I also want her to be little and need me for everything. I want her to see that doing things on her own for herself is not a "punishment", something she definitely struggles with. She doesn't see the fair side of me doing so much for Rhealen or Jaxon and then asking her to do so much for herself. 

AND I GET THAT. 

I struggle with that concept, too, honestly! I remind Sidney all the time, "when the little ones are older they will do these things, too. They will clean up after themselves. They will carry their own bags. They will, they will, they will, I promise!" But I see her side of it, too; I know how unfair it must feel, and the last thing I want in the world is to breed resentment among my children. 

Am I insane? Tell me honestly. 

I'm an only child, so again, I really struggle with the dynamics of siblings -- it's one of those things I don't think you can truly understand unless you've lived it. I do my best and try to take in all the advice I can. What things  can I do to help Sidney gain even more independence? How do I handle my guilt asking her to do so much for herself when her siblings aren't on the same level as she is, and I know she feels it's "not fair, Mom!"?

Believe me, I'm open to suggestions here!

The More, The Merrier, and the More Absent-Minded

I remember the day I found out I was carrying my first little girl inside me -- I don't remember the exact date, but I remember the day. Visions of pink and frills and bows and princesses and all the things that make life wonderfully girly danced in my head. Mom and I went straight to the store and started buying pink! and purple! and little tutus! and socks with lace! 

And it was wonderful. 

I dreamed of a perfectly perfect princess themed nursery, and so we made it happen. Bright yellow walls. Princess border. Complete nursery set with sheets and pillows and a hanging quilt and the bumper -- all of it pink and princess and exactly how I planned.

I would sit in that nursery for hours. I sat in my pink and white glider reading or folding freshly Dreft-washed clothes. I rearranged furniture and added knick-knacks. I hung out in that nursery anticipating my little lady's arrival for what seems like endless days at a time. There was nothing to do but wait. Imagine and wait and try to be patient from week twenty to week thirty-nine (when she finally arrived)...

And now, three pregnancies away from that one, I sit back and laugh at myself. There really is nothing like the anticipation of your first child! 

Because as cliche as it is, after the first one gets here, you really don't have the same time (or energy) to daydream about the second. Of course, you still do, to some small degree. But it really is different than the first pregnancy. 

And by the time you get to your third pregnancy, well you can just forget it. 

Fourth? I'm pregnant? Is that what this is? 

Jaxon sleeps in a hand-me-down crib complete with hand-me-down bedding and blankets left over from his sisters. His room is not decorated. At all. There's zero thought to it, because who the hell has time to think about decorating the third kid's nursery?

And little Jameson? She's also going to sleep in a hand-me-down crib (one that Rhealen slept in, but was used even before Rhealen for other children in our circle of friends) -- luckily for her, she'll get to use her biggest sister's hand-me-down princess bedding, which Mom and I just unearthed by chance the other day cleaning out Sidney's room at Mom's house (where her original dream nursery was). 

Poor Rhealen never had crib bedding. Hell, she didn't get a crib until she was almost eight months old! 

It's just funny, as I get further and further away from the halfway point of this pregnancy (I'm 25+ weeks roughly) I find myself so uninterested in baby things. I want to get Jameson a new carseat (the only thing I ever insist on buying new for each of the kids!), but other than that? I've got the desire to do nothing else. I don't want to talk nursery decor or outfits or anything even remotely baby-related. 

Because truthfully? You don't need 99% of that bullshit. It's all a commercial craze to make first-time moms spend money hand over first for things their baby doesn't want, need or care about. 

But it was nice once upon a time -- back when I was newly pregnant. That state of bliss was truly special, and I try to recognize it for the amazing time it was back then, back when there were no other kiddos with demands on my time, and all I had to do was sit around lazily and daydream of the baby growing in my belly.

Because nowadays, in the immortal words of Kimberly "Sweet Brown" Wilkins, ain't nobody got time for that. 

The Fine Line

Do you ever struggle with yourself internally over the fact that you feel happy when you should probably feel guilty? Or you feel guilty when you should feel grateful? More specifically, how do balance your emotions when you're fully aware and empathetic of infertility, yet you've never suffered one day from it?

I'm leading this post with a picture of this toilet -- a picture I've used a few times on the blog before, but my hope is that if you see the toilet, you'll be able to put two and two together that maybe this post will have a little TMI for you. Squeamish? Not into getting down and dirty regarding bodily functions? Afraid of pregnancy talk? Turn away now -- fair warning. I won't judge you, promise!

Jaxon

Unexpectedly and slightly suddenly, Jaxon Leon came into our lives Wednesday, Jan. 9th, at 8:52 PM weighing in at 5 lbs, 2.2 oz and measuring at 18 inches long. He's our little fella, and love his heart, he had a slightly bumpy start in this world. He finally came home yesterday, and we are working on getting into the routine of three kids and this new baby boy in the house!

I have more pictures to share, his birth story to write, and a million other details to jot down so I can cement these first few days. For now, I'm just popping in to explain my radio silence and excuse myself for a few more days. I've got big sisters to snuggle and a sweet boy to cuddle (and sleep to catch up on!) - welcome home, Jaxon!

Soul, Baby

I wasn't kidding when I said before that this baby digs the R&B, old-school Motown, oldies and goodies. I keep this music on constantly, and he seems to dig it. And I seem to dig it even more than before. Little brother has got soul already...

Some of my (our) favorites:



When my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know just what was wrong with me
Till your kiss helped me name it
Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for
'Cause if I make you happy I don't need no more



I'm a poorman's son, from across the railroad tracks,
The only shirt I own is hangin' on my back,
But I'm the envy of ev'ry single guy
Since I'm the apple of my girl's eye.

24.

Today marks week 24!

For those of you who don't keep up with pregnancy week-by-week, that is officially month six! I realize I am absolutely horrible at documenting pregnancy, and honestly, I have no intention of keeping up with it week to week, or month to month. I finally installed a little "ticker" over on the right-hand side just to remind myself where I am with this pregnancy. It's totally cliche, but I really don't have the time to dwell on being pregnant. I just am, and thankfully, I am easily at this point; so there is no sitting around, lazily day-dreaming about baby for hours on end.

Some quick notes about this pregnancy at week 24, (because I know someday I will appreciate the fact that I made myself jot down a quick something, anything about being pregnant with number three):

-kicks and hiccups are how we start our day...baby boy is most active before I go to sleep and when I wake up, which makes me think he's really active all night long and ohmygod, I already dread sleepless nights with him!

-my hair has never looked better, so thanks for that kid! I know there's an old wives tale about how girls steal your beauty and boys amplify it, or something, so I find it kind of funny how this pregnancy is the only one I've been able to enjoy the perks of shiny, voluminous hair that grows non-stop.

-heartburn has been fairly minimal (especially compared to the last two pregnancies) and my body overall feels really good; it's impossible to sleep on my right side, which I've learned recently is my favorite side, so that's a bit of a bummer. Left side (with a good pillow between the knees) is the only way to go!

-my boobs are acting as I expected them to (leaky and full and a total pain in the ass already), but there's a new addition of painful sensations whenever I step outside into the lovely, brisk weather. This is a new one for me, as the girls never really acted this way when I was pregnant with the other girls, so if you're responsible for this, kid, I don't thank you.

-weight gain at this point is nil, which I'm thankful for. Being a plus-size momma to begin with, I really have to watch my weight throughout pregnancy, and so far so good. I passed my glucose test with flying colors (first time and everything!), so that's a huge relief. My appetite is so weird at this point, I guess I can attribute the no weight gain thing to the baby. I keep waiting to get those voracious cravings and big bellied appetites, but no. No such luck. If I have the "want to" to want to eat two meals a day, then I'm flying high here.

-we still don't have a name for this kid, which is still killing me. Every night I lay down and ask Justin, "so what are we naming this baby?" and every night I fall asleep before we can settle on something. Oy vey.

I guess soon enough I'll turn sideways and take a picture of this bump, but honestly, I'm so unmotivated to document everything at this point. I'm just ready to be done being pregnant (which is a total conundrum  because I'm also trying to savor every second of it since it's definitely THE LAST TIME, Mom) and for baby to be here! That's when the real fun begins :)

Boy in Blue

1. Carter's romper 2. Liberty Silver Baby Boy Teaspoons 3. Adidas Superstar 2 Shoes 4. Build-a-Bear Sweet Cuddles Teddy Blue

Okay, so I'm not the first to admit - shopping for a boy is not nearly as much fun as shopping for girls! Boys are limited, and as silly as it sounds, I'm so limited in what defines "boy". I have a much easier time dressing my girls up in unisex items, but when I look at the same things for a boy to wear, I feel that tug in me that is completely backwards saying, "a boy can't wear that", when in fact, YES,  a boy can wear anything he wants to!

I need to get over myself and get out of my head. It's time to re-think my values and perceptions and focus on a happy, well-rounded and fulfilled son. Not a son covered head-to-toe in blue.

(Although blue is definitely growing on me! But I think that's just the general excitement over having a boy this time!)

Baby Brother!

So...baby is a boy!

A boy, and now my mind is totally blank - I know squat about little boys. I was completely prepared to raise another little lady, but a little lad has me thrown for a loop! What will we do with a baby boy running around here?

We're all very excited (even Sidney, although she was a little anti-boy at first) and now we're counting down the days to January with even more excitement than we know what to do with.

There are already two little outfits hanging out at home for baby brother (thanks to Aunt Fanny!) and lots more of blue, trucks, and all the other stereotypical boy fashions that are sure to trickle into our lives in the coming months -we welcome it all!

We're so excited to meet you, baby boy - you are sure to complete our family and make our lives that much more special. You've already got two big sisters ready to show you the ropes and love you to pieces!

A Wee Update on the Wee One

I haven't really talked much about this latest babe, only because there really isn't much to talk about at this point. I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow, so we should be finding out the little one's gender in the next couple weeks. Justin and I are both putting our money down for a girl, but everyone else seems to think boy. I've gotten so used to having girls, I can't imagine not having another one, but of course, we'll be tickled pink/blue either way!

So far this pregnancy is pretty easy. I have random bouts of sickness, but fortunately they are far and few in between. Weeks ago, I had an episode of hanging out the side of my car puking in the rain while Rhealen screamed from the back-seat. Not a fun moment, but again, I'm grateful they're few and far between. I haven't had the aching back I had the entire time I carried RJ and SidMo, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. I can already feel the relaxin working in my body loosening everything up downstairs; sometimes I feel like my hips are completely separating altogether, but I know I'll be grateful for the stretch come D-day.

One new pregnancy symptom I'm loving that I never really had with the girls is a luscious head of hair! My hair has always grown at snail-speed, but it seems to grow overnight like a Chia pet and is full and shiny and glorious. It's too bad I don't do much with my hair, but honestly, I don't have to much. Wash it and go, and I feel like whipping what little hair I have back and forth all day.

Overall, it's been a pretty breezy pregnancy so far. My decreased appetite is slowly but surely coming back (as is the norm when you approach 20 weeks), and of course, other decreased appetites are making their way back, which is welcomed by both people in this marriage of mine. I'm feeling little flutters and kicks more and more every day, and I dream nightly of this baby one way or another(in my dreams, I admit it's a boy but my heart tells me it's a girl! PS Remind me to tell you of the INSANE dream I had regarding RJ a few nights ago!)

I can't wait to share our mid-way ultrasound with you - just a couple more weeks! 

{8 Months}

Our little Nugget hit the 8-month mark yesterday. She's 2/3 of the way to her first birthday (which I must tell you, Sidney is already planning for her with great delight)!

This past week has been a bit of a doozy for her; she's been quite the sick little ladybug and wants to be held and loved constantly. We took her to the Dr yesterday and she has a case of RSV and an ear infection, so it's antibiotics and lots of humidified air for this girl. If I leave her sight, it's instant meltdown. Even her big sister isn't enough of a comfort to her - although Sidney recently discovered her snake-charming side. She found a way to kiss Rhealen's cheek that puts her in a total trance. It's the cutest!

Rhealen has mastered the art of sitting up, but no crawling yet. If she's on a slick enough surface, she can scoot clear across the room! She will put her hands down in front of her and try to rock back and forth, so crawling is only a matter of time.

She still has the best appetite of any baby I've ever seen. There's nothing this kid won't eat! She loves fruits, veggies, meats, breads - all of it. Some her favorites include pears, bananas, asparagus, mozerella cheese, pizza, sour cream & chive cheese crackers and waffles. Of course, she also has a penchant for iced tea and ice cream, but I'm not supposed to admit she eats that stuff! Or eggs and peanut butter. Or double-stuff Oreos.

As of right now, she sleeps almost 11 hours every night - most of the time through the night, but sometimes she wakes up rooting for her paci. If you pop it back in quick enough, she goes right back to sleep. We recently moved her pack-n-play out of the living room and into the girls' room and the transition has made a world of difference. She sleeps better, longer, more soundly. She's also a huge fan of white noise, so I think we're going to invest in a sound machine sometime in the near future.

She can clearly say "da-da" (her favorite word), "mom-mom" and "num-num". We're working on more, lord knows Sidney is dying to hear her say her name. I don't have the heart to tell her it'll be awhile before she spits that one out!

I honestly don't think I could ask for a better baby - she's sweet as can be, loves her family and has a great adaptability to roll with the punches (most of the time). She loves to be on the go in the car, and yet you can almost hear her breathe a sigh of relief when we walk through the front door at home. She plays well by herself and is in love with taking showers with me. She has a lot of little quirks and habits that remind me of Sidney (like sticking her left leg up on the table while she eats in her high chair) but she's so totally opposite Sidney sometimes, it's amazing they're even related.

I look at her sometimes and think to myself, I made you. I carried you. I felt your first movements, your first kicks. I was the one you heard first, and I'm the one you knew first. How blessed am I to have known her first, to be the one who shared a body with her and helped her grow into this being of light and love. She's been outside of my body almost as long as she was inside.

Happy, wonderful 8 months, my sweet Rhealen Jo. 

{5 months}

This time last year we were just finding out that baby #2 was indeed a girl - and now, a year later, we've got a five month old Rhealen Jo sitting here. This little lady is growing (slowly) like a weed; she's on the small ends of the charts, but that's okay. She'll catch up and level out eventually. For now, she's just petite!

Rhealen loves to pull hair, scream at the top of her lungs (just for fun), chew on her toes, sit up and look around, stare at her big sister, hang out in her swing and ride in the car, just staring out the window. She's definitely a lover of those she knows well, but she can be a little nervous around other people.

I love watching Sidney & Rhealen together - there's nothing in the world quite like it. Rhealen absolute adores Sidney; if Sidney's in the room, everyone else disappears to her. Sidney loves being the "big sister" and will remind RJ of that fact 100 times a day. That works out okay right now, but I have a feeling it'll be the start of many fights later on down the road...

At her four month check-up she was 12 lbs and 10 oz, so I'm excited to see how much weight she's gained in a month. She keeps getting longer and longer (24.5 inches at four months) but she still feels light as a feather. Sidney was always an over-achiever and in the 99% percentile for everything; poor Rhealen is only in the 10% percentile! It's amazing how kids can be so different...

Other than some breathing problems, Rhealen is perfectly healthy. They're thinking she might have asthma, and she's been on breathing treatments, but things seem to be getting better for her...so I'll update on that when I can.

Rhealen is a great baby, a much loved and needed addition to our family. We couldn't have asked for a better little girl; we laugh about it now, about how we were so panicked Rhealen would be a monster baby since Sidney was such an easy little angel. She may turn out to be a wild child later on, but for now she's the sweetest little dumpling anyone could hope for.

Our family feels complete with her here. There were questions in my mind before about whether or not we were done, whether or not I wanted more kids; but those questions are answered now. I'm perfectly happy with my girls. My two sweet, beautiful girls. I can't imagine adding a third in the mix; it all feels perfectly perfect right now, just the two of them.

They can make it if they try.

{Dear Sidney}

Dear Sidney,

You were so excited the day you became a big sister. In actuality, you became excited the moment you found out you were going to be a big sister. On the very day we told you, you came home with an "It's a Boy!" balloon from the store, before you ever even knew what was going on. You weren't right about having a little brother, but I think you're more than okay with that. You adore your little sister, beyond words. I could never begin to sum up the way your eyes shine when she smiles at you. The very sight of the two of you together melts me completely.

About one week after we came home from the hospital, I sat in the recliner looking at my girls - you asleep on the couch and your sister asleep in her bouncy chair. Van Morrison's "These Are the Days" was playing through the laptop and your Daddy was getting the house ready for bed. I looked over at you both and felt this explosion of love. Nine months of uneasy emotions and nervous thoughts flew from my soul, and there we all were - home, happy and healthy, together. That memory is so soft in my mind, yet it holds such strong feelings. I'm so lucky to be here among you girls, so blessed to witness your love for one another. I never had a sister, so I'm only guessing at the feelings you share. From where I sit, the view is beautiful and the love palpable.

I was worried about you before, nervous as to how you'd do adjusting to sharing the limelight. You were the only grandchild for so long, I didn't know how you'd feel about giving that title up. Now, I see all my worry was for nothing. You've embraced sisterhood with glory and grace. There's not a day that goes by that I don't look at you and think, "you're amazing" my child. You are amazing.

I want to thank you for being such a wonderful sister. Thank you for loving me and loving Rhealen and keeping this family intact and wholesome. You are pure joy, bottled up with blue eyes and curly brown hair. You were a surprise to us, just like Rhealen was, but we couldn't have asked for better girls. As you get older, you and your sister may fight. You may forget about the bonds you have and the simple, sweet love you share right now. There may come a time when you tell each other, "I hate you."

But please don't forget this moment in your life. Don't forget what it was like to do everything in your power to make your sister smile. Don't forget all the cuddles you shared in the mornings before school. Don't forget that moment when you first saw her, and your smile was so wide it barely fit in the room. Promise me, you won't forget.

And know I'll never forget a second of the day you became a big sister, and I became the luckiest lady in the whole world.

I love you, my dear Sidney Morgan.

Momma

graciously rubbing it in...

My kids are golden.

I am so lucky, sometimes it's hard for Justin and me to grasp just how lucky we got! Our girls are the biggest joys in our lives, obviously, and they're both so awesome 24/7 (or at least 23/7, everyone is allowed a little bummer time)...

Sidney has been putting herself to bed lately...she just up and announces it's time for bed around 8:30 or 9:00 and off she goes. One of us will tuck her in and let her "blow out" the light (just like my mom and dad used to do with me, I love passing down traditions!) and she's usually asleep in less than 10 seconds. There's no whining, no arguing, nothing. When she's ready, she's ready. And in the morning when I wake her up for school she usually will say, "Do I have to go to school today?" and I have learned to say "Nope, you can stay home if you want." She then follows that up with "BUT I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TODAY! WHO WILL SIT IN MY SEAT? THEY NEED ME!"

So, yeah, she's never cried once about having to go to school. She eats her food, uses the toilet like a grown-up, plays extremely well by herself with that incredible imagination of hers, gets along with others, refuses to let other kids get her in trouble at school, loves to hang out with everyone in our family, takes such good care of her baby sissy, and manages to not act like a diva most of the time. Of course she has her moments, and when they happen oh dear g-d are they awful, but luckily they're few and far in between.

And then there's Rhealen...sweet little RJ. Y'all may think you have a good baby - you haven't seen a good baby until you've seen our little one. She is perfection, rolled into a blue-eyed girl with blonde/brown/red hair. She's the best. She sleeps like a champion, eats even better than that, has no worries in the world and never fusses (unless you lay her horizontal, dear g-d, don't lay that child flat down whatever you do).

She's been sleeping through the night since the first of August, and when I say "sleeping through the night", I mean she goes to bed around 10PM and I have to wake her up to get ready in the morning at 7AM. She always wakes up smiling and cooing, it's the sweetest way to start the morning. Who could ever be mad when you see that sweet face? Rhealen will even wake up to smile and talk to her Daddy while he's getting ready and then go right back to sleep when he leaves. SHE'S AMAZING, that child of mine. Everyone who keeps her says she's the best baby, and she really is. I would say bragging on her might jinx us, but she's too damn good not to brag about.

Justin and I got so damned lucky. We must've been martyrs in our past lives or something.