Halloween//TBT

It's Halloween!

And it's Throwback Thursday!

So let's just combine the two and look at some photos of Halloween celebrations gone by....

2006-2012

Halloween (especially with kids involved!) feels a bit like a marathon workout -- there's the running of the children, the corralling of the candy, the constant checking and head-counting and making sure to keep an eye out for all the other dozens of trick-of-treaters running amuck (amuck! amuck! amuck!) -- seriously, it's a workout!

But just like most other things in life, having kids to celebrate holidays with makes them 1,000x more enjoyable (in my opinion!) I love being on the parent side of the equation, and it's awesome making memories with my own family :)

This year, I'm really really really hoping the weather cooperates just long enough for us to get our trick-or-treating done -- the weather was absolutely beautiful in the days leading up to Halloween today, why can't we just have a few more hours of that sweetness before the rain gets here? Pretty please and thank you!

Look for another round of costume pictures tomorrow!

Catch Up, Catch All

My kids are finally in bed, it's dark out and raining, and I'm sitting here in the "old" house hammering out what is going to be a long, heavy-worded, catch-up catch-all post. Hectic isn't even the right word for how life's been going lately. Batshit crazy insanely beyond hectic might begin to cover it, but I doubt it ... so here goes, the past few weeks caught up as much as I can. 

And maybe if we ever get our internet installed at the "new" house I can begin to blog again with some normalcy. 'Cause momma sure does miss it...

On the 6th, our sweet little nugget Rhealen Jo turned the terrible TWO -- she's officially a toddler and a officially a terrible one at that. But we love her so! At her two-year check-up, they said she's a skinny mini, just averaging in the 10th percentile, but overall a healthy gal. She's still in love with farm animals --cows in particular-- adores her big sister and is on the hugest Shrek craze you ever did see. I think we've watched all four movies with her at least 1,000 times...each. 

Jaxon is now five months old -- I call him fat and sassy! He's nearing 18 lbs and has the best belly and leg rolls ever. He's a total momma's boy --and even though Justin likes to tease me about him getting over it someday-- I hope he never changes. I believe he thinks Sidney is the funniest person ever, and he's rolling around the floor like a madman these days -- though he still hates tummy time! I love this fella, he's just the mostest. 

For Sidney's Kindergarten field trip, we went to the Knoxville Zoo (Jaxon didn't join us, it would've just been too much!) Poor RJ was sick as could be on our trip, but she made the most of it and we all had a really good time. The last time I was at the Knoxville zoo was when I was pregnant with Sidney on the Kindergarten field trip during my AmeriCorps years, so it was hard to believe time had passed by so quickly and now it was her turn! It's just unreal, ya'll...

Last weekend, Sidney and I got to participate in our dear sweet Dobby's wedding! The little ones stayed home with their Poppa (and Mamaw Shirley) while we girlied it up and did the bridesmaid/flower girl thing. At the reception there was amazing food, awesome dancing, and a pretty sweet photobooth! I think SidMo drug every single person she could talk into that thing for photos; there's a ton of her! It was such a joy to see Stephanie & Michael exchange their vows, and I'm so glad they let me and my sweet girl be a part of it all. 

We've also had a ton of other "happenings" happening, like Rhealen's birthday party (which I've yet to upload the pictures off the camera, yet), Sidney's summer school program, lots of time spent outdoors when the heat/humidity isn't unbearable, and movie-watching galore late at night -- no school nights for Sidney are the best! 

There's also a lot more fun things lined up like Sidney's trip to Michigan with Mom & Peanut, my grand-parents coming in from Columbia to see us (hopefully next weekend!), Poppa's Day, hanging out at the lake, 4th of July, and all the other joys of sweet summertime bliss. 

Here's to enjoying every second of it, however crazy wild it may most definitely will be! 

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU!

circa 2010

 Happy! Birthday! to my sweet Cassie Jane!

I love those two girls up there more than words, and it kills me that my butch lives so far* away now, and we never get to see each other! 

Both of my BFFs have May birthdays, so maybe at the end of the month we can do something fun - we'll all be getting together anyway for Dobby's wedding next month! 

Happy B-day, butch, I love you! 

*Kentucky really isn't that far away, but with three kids and a full-time job, my free-time is non-existent! Oh, how I long for those lazy days when we did nothing but lay by the pool all day, watch movies at the drive-in all night, and hang out at Huddle House 'til 2AM!*

Last night I had a dream about Joe - I was sitting on a set of bleachers watching a game of something I can't remember. I scanned the crowd next to me, and there he sat. Black beanie on, black pea-coat - just sitting with a group of people watching the game in front of us.

In my (dreaming) mind, I tried to figure out how it was possible that he was there. Finally, after sitting there watching him for what felt like hours, I went up to him and asked him how he got there.

"I just woke up the other day."
"But it's been years now."
"I know, I can't remember what happened. But, here I am."

In my dream, I hugged him long and hard - which probably would've never happened in reality, but in my dream it felt amazing. It felt real.

Normally my dreams are just a reflection of what's happened throughout my day, and I don't remember Joe coming into my day-to-day routine yesterday - but he sure was front and center in my dream. And it felt kind of nice to surprise myself. I heard his voice, felt the height difference between us again, and it was just a simple little comfort.

I was never super, super close with Joseph, but I feel like what we had was a special little friendship. I think he had many relationships like that; he made people feel a certain way, and sharing a friendship with him felt very personal and unique.

Part of me feels like I should just stop talking about him, that I shouldn't keep bringing him up (and in a lot of real-life situations, I do try to stay off the subject in certain company) - but then another part of me feels like I should never feel bad for wanting to say his name out loud. If he's on my heart and mind, then I should just let it out. Let him out.

And so I do, because in all honesty, I couldn't stop myself if I tried. 

Flashback Friday

This certainly isn't an "old" picture - I took this one about two months ago when I did a little session with Cassie and Gerald to celebrate their engagement. But I don't think I ever posted those photos here, and after tomorrow, they'll be married!

I'm so excited to travel to Middlesboro this evening and spend tonight and tomorrow celebrating these two. Cassie and I have been through so much, she's always been right by my side - I'm so excited to stand by hers tomorrow as she marries the love of her life. You've worked so hard putting this wedding together, Cassie, I can't wait to see what the final result looks like!

Congratulations, Cassie - no matter what, remember you'll always be my butch! I love you! 

Flashback Friday

July 2008. That moment when Miranda came trotting up the sidewalk at work one fine summer day to show me her ring! That crazy old boy she loves finally asked her to marry him; and tomorrow they'll say their vows surrounded by family, friends and more love than they know.

I'm so excited/honored to be by her side tomorrow; she's been my crazy best friend since middle school. We have more inside jokes and embarrassing stories than we'll ever admit! We've been on wild trips to the beach, driven our parents crazy, stalked boys, played ball, laughed, cried, and done it all. Together.

I love you, Miranda! Congratulations on your wedding day. Don't be surprised if tomorrow just becomes another wild and crazy day for us to look back on and laugh about! 

Flashback Friday

There we are. My two best friends in the world. We were seniors and still acting like we were 12 years old.

This was, to date, the best homemade costume I've ever made. We didn't have to buy anything, and we still looked awesome.

Plus, Cassie and I were nice enough to finally give in to Dobby's insane Tinkerbell obsession and fulfill her dreams.

I'd bet you $100 if you ask Cassie or Dobby what they think about this picture now, they'd both say, in perfect unison, "I miss being that skinny!"

Me, too, girls. Me, too. 

Lily & Lulu

Lulu

You may remember these cute sister pups from last year's post .

The other day, Dobby made her fur children sit still long enough for me to get a nice IG shot of them.

I don't know if I mentioned it before or not, but we had to get rid of our little Beau - not having him around is sad at times (lord know the dog lover in me doesn't feel right not having a canine companion) but it's nice to visit with such sweet pups like these two!

Dobby, you've got some pretty awesome "kids" right there!

Lily

lately

Beau accompanied me on a workday last week - he's my "other" baby! 

Sidney was all about the karaoke at our Christmas party.

She's an expert present-opener nowadays!! 

My darling girls at dinner - they both behaved so well! 

I see so much of her Daddy in her sometimes, it's scary. 

My sweet smiling baby - she's really started babbling this week! 

My little cousin Samantha and I have the same fashion sense! 

Sidney at her school Christmas dinner - she was so proud of her reindeer hat! 

My girls at Gran's house...

The many sweet faces of Rhealen Jo - that top left picture kills me with cuteness! 

Pajama day at school - Sidney's favorite! 

Two funny ladies: Dobby & Rhealen 

Christmas Gifts: For My Friend Who Can Sing in the Car With Me for Hours and Who Never Mixes Brown and Black in One Outfit

Pretty Cupcake Kit - because she loves all things pretty and this might inspire her to bake for me! 

Jumbo Cocktail Rings - because she loves all things gaudy just like me! 

Red Peep-toe Heels - because she rocked the shit out of that Betty Boop Halloween costume way back when. And she likes that Kellie Pickler song, too. 

Key to My Heart necklace - because she's getting married next year and is stuck on all that sweet stuff.

Carrie sunglasses - because we share a love of over-sized shades. And making fun of other girls in over-sized shades. 

Mini Robot Vacuum - because she's OCD about cleaning and will never let you forget how her side of the dorm room was always spotless when your side looked like a tornado was living there. 

I Like You by Amy Sedaris - because even though she'd never admit it, she's nervous about having her own home and entertaining new friends in KY. This'll make her the talk of the town. 

Kate Spade 2012 calendar - because she needs to go ahead and make plans to come back home to VA to see me every weekend. 

LOVE YOU, butch. 

All gifts from HERE. 

Christmas Gifts: For My Friend Who Has the Most Random Collection of Mixed CDs and Cries at Forehead Kisses

Wacky Bandages - because you need more "mac n cheese" talks in your life! 

Tinkerbell necklace - because she's twenty-four going on twelve forever. 

Pet's Eye View Camera - because she loves her dogs like babies and would love to see the world through their eyes. 

What's Your Poo Telling You? - because she's the only person out there that finds this shit interesting. 

Cardboard Buck - because she lives to make her daddy proud but she'd never kill one in real life. 

Desktop Pink Pong Kit - because it will remind her of "Forrest Gump" every day. 

Condiment gun - because she'll have way too much fun squirting ketchup on everything with something like this! 

Pasta Boobies - because even though she's a total hetero, girl can still appreciate a nice set of boobies. 

LOVE YOU, best friend. 

All gifts from HERE. 

on giving birth

I've been doing a lot of mental preparation over the last eight months, getting myself ready for the big delivery of our little Nugget. When I was pregnant with Sidney, I didn't really think much about labor and delivery. I had this incredibly naive outlook on pregnancy (and life in general) and I never worried about a single thing. It never occured to me that I had options, that things could go wrong or that I'd have anything but a perfectly "normal" delivery like I'd seen in dozens of movies and TV episodes. I could claim that my motherly intuition just told me it was going to be that easy - but it was pure neglect of reality. I wasn't even in denail; I was simply fully unaware.

Now I'm getting ready to do this again, my mind isn't at ease so much. If anything, I'm more nervous this time around. Now, I know what can go wrong at any given moment. Now, I worry constantly about the atmosphere and mood and scene of this delivery. I've been thinking about it for months solid. I want to go into labor myself this time, I don't want to be induced like I was with Sidney. I want to labor at home for as long as possible. I'm not sure that I can deliver naturally, and honestly, I'm not aiming to. I know I'll want that epidural before it's all said and done.

I can safely say, I'm nervous about giving birth again. I've been reading a ton of great mommy-blogs out there, reassuring myself that I can do this again. I will do this again (obviously)! I know these girls are my children, my daughters, but honestly I feel like I'm giving birth for a lot of people. We are so lucky to have so many amazing family members and friends who are eagerly awaiting Rhealen's debut - she belongs to so many people already, I feel like I'm just a gateway for her. She just passes through me to meet her adoring fans, the crowd that gathers to meet her. She's a daughter, grand-daughter, sister, niece, friend to so many already. It gives me a little boost of confidence knowing there's so many people rooting me on, ready to meet this little babe!

hello, baby Rhealen!!!

ED: If someone asked me for "labor and delivery advice", my only advice would be this: don't make a plan. Plans get changed, go wrong, end up being the exact opposite of what you want. If you spend nine (or ten) months planning and envisioning this idealistic version of labor and delivery, chances are you're not going to appreciate the labor and delivery you actually have. I would say things rarely go as planned in life, but especially in the birthing process. Things can change in a split-second, and it's important that you're able to roll with the punches. It'll make you feel a lot better if you spare yourself the feelings of disappointment or defeat when things do go exactly like you hoped they would!

lately

Life's been good lately, what can I say?

going, going, gone

Sidney and I are headed off to Columbia, TN this morning for the annual Cantrell Christmas at my grand-parent's house (Mom and Peanut are escorting us, since I still can't drive 'til April, and poor Justin has to work all weekend!)...

I probably won't post this weekend, unless I manage to get a minute to hop on the computer (or figure out how to blog from my phone)! I'll have to play catch-up big time when I get back, so don't write anything too amazing or I'm afraid I might miss it...

I'm going to send you away from my blog this morning - a good buddy of mine found out yesterday she's having identical twins! Mrs. B was due about two weeks after me, but I'm guessing she'll go before me now that she's got two babies cooking in there!! Please go tell her I said "congratulations" - there's so many sweet gals I know having spring/summer babies, it's going to be awesome getting farther and farther along with them (I'm 12 weeks this weekend, yahoo - first trimester done)!

Have a wonderful weekend & I'll see all of you on Monday...

I let myself feel this way, and I shouldn't

Sometimes I'm a very ugly person.

And I don't mean bad-breath, messy-hair, zit-face kind of ugly. I mean, ugly from the inside. My beauty is not even skin deep sometimes.

I read things, hear things - bad things that people are going through or thinking about or dealing with. And I feel a twinge of happiness for their struggles. I think to myself, "serves them right". If they've offended me or upset me or I know some dirty secret they try to keep to themselves - I let myself feel better when they begin to feel worse.

And that's ugly. Rotten, horrible, disgusting. I am not that kind of person - or at least that's what I tell myself 99% of the time. But apparently, sometimes I am that person. Sometimes I am the mean girl, the bitch. Sometimes I let myself become a nasty, rude, self-indulgent, high and mighty person.

I've got to keep better tabs on myself. I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I plan to never feel this way again - I'm sure I will. We all do, we all have at some point in our lives. But it's my personal goal to go above and beyond myself when I get low like this. I want to "x" out these bad thoughts and feelings with 100 better, happier feelings. I want to start dwelling on the positive in my life and in other people's lives.

I don't want to be that kind of person that is there for my friends when they're going through awful, bad, down on their luck times, and then disappears when they're back to normal. I want to be there all the time, celebrating the good without feelings of jealousy or self-pity. I want to be there during crisis, supporting them and lending a helping hand without judgment. I don't want to build myself up by tearing someone else down.

It feels so juvenile to be having this conversation with myself. But I'm only human. And before I go back to being my seventh-grade self, I want to stop right now. I want to be a better person. And I will, so help me god.

mobile uploads 5

You can see previous mobile uploads posts here, if you're into that kind of thing!

Onward! Photo dump time...

what can I say? I love the way Dobby can wear a scarf...

Chuck Taylor heaven

Cassie thinks shopping with me is a lot of fun! D'oh!

I sent this one to my husband. I hope he didn't delete it.

pizza dinner date

the absolute best part of lunch!

sidney and her bff logan

I see a tiny patch of blue sky in the middle of all this rain

Sidney and Dobby after the beauty pageant back in Aug.

notes & classwork

she's cute and all, but birthday hats make anyone look dorky!

Dobby and her big-eared Lulu

Sidney likes to "drive" Justin's truck

she mastered the art of the water fountain...finally!

morning car buddy (wearing her Pops' hat!)