"...and I am young,  yes, but what I have learned is that love, the beauty of it, the joy of it, and yes, even the pain of it, is the most incredible gift to give and to receive as a human being. And we deserve to experience love fully, equally, without shame and without compromise.
There are too many kids out there suffering from bullying, rejection, or simply being mistreated for who they are.
Too many dropouts.
Too much abuse.
Too many homeless and
Too many suicides.
You can change that..."

Currently

Loving: When I started writing this post, my first thought was "this warm weather!" but now it's cold again this week - we had a lovely weekend. We spent nearly every possible second we could outside both afternoons trying to soak up that summer-like sunshine. But alas, winter is not yet done with us, and I have a feeling spring is going to be a real weather roller coaster, too! 

Reading: Who has time to read?! Seriously, though, I'm on the hunt for a good read (preferably something I can try out on the Kindle for free!) so hopefully soon I'll be back to my old ways.

Watching: Sidney has been dominating our TV time with one kid movie after another: The Croods, Despicable Me 2, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, and Epic -- on full repeat. (Rhealen splits her time watching Brave, Finding Nemo, Hotel Transylvania and Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas)

Eating: Cheesecake bites! Sidney talked her Gran into buying a box at Sam's for our house, and we've all been eating them non-stop. I love those little things, but man, I'll be glad to see them go. We don't shop at Sam's, so they're a rare treat and not a regular thing!

Anticipating: Justin's birthday is at the end of March, and we always do a little cook-out/shoot-out up at the cabin. I'm hoping the weather just happens to be nice that weekend (sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it sucks!) - hard to believe my man will be 27 this year!

Listening to: Bastille, Lorde, MKTO, Aviicii and a bunch more "pop"ular bands that are totally guilty pleasures! 

Working on: Toby's sleep habits - the boy's nighttime sleep is pretty much non-existent in my eyes. By the time I fall back asleep he wakes back up - one and two hour stretches are just not good enough! Now that he's passed the six-week mark I really hope we can get in a good routine with him. Good sleep habits start young, don't forget! 

Wishing: I am back at work now, and loving it, but sometimes I wish we'd hit the lottery so I could just be a full-time SAHM! I miss my babies during the day! But I know work is where I'm meant to be - if I had to stay home with the kiddies all the time I might really go insane :)

Currently series inspired by Danielle.

2013 - Year in Review

I'm a little last posting this (I like posting them around the first of the year) but better late than never! 

You can see 2012 HERE and 2011 HERE.

::JANUARY::

2013 started out with a bang for us - our little Jaxon Leon arrived a little earlier than anticipated on the 9th :) We adjusted to life with three kiddos, played in the snow, and

::FEBRUARY::

As blogging goes with a new baby, things were erratic and hairbrained! I shared little things that made me happy, random updates on our new normal, and did my best to find "me" again.

::MARCH::

By March I was back on my blogging game! I managed to wish my dear husband "happy birthday" while ranting about Prop8, kept up with the weekly TT posts, did updates on both girls, and posted a cute little video of Rhealen.

::APRIL::

We moved into our house, which was the biggest joy of the month, for sure! I talked about finally having a son, I tried to keep things honest talking about the sucky parts of life, and the world lost a music legend (RIP Possum!)

::MAY::

I compared my "apples to oranges" daughters, shared some photos taken with my Dad+family, got a little sappy thinking about the future for our children, and my "butch" celebrated another birthday (as did my BFF/cousin, Dobby!)

::JUNE::

June was an exciting month for sure! Our little "Nugget" RJ turned TWO, Jaxon started his "pirate look" to combat a lazy eye, we went to the Knoxville zoo, our sweet Dobby got married (!!), and Sidney finished up Kindergarten with a bang!

::JULY::

My one and only post for the entire month of July was Jaxon's monthly update post -- at least I got that one in!!

::AUGUST::

August was the month of random updates apparently, but sometimes that's the best way to document life! Sidney finished up her first summer of swim lessons, I professed my continued love for non-traditional engagement rings (and the hope that my girls follow in my footsteps!), our dear Gran hit the big 5-0!, and Jaxon & Rhealen grew closer, which totally melted my momma heart :)

::SEPTEMBER::

The month of September is always a busy (and fun!) one - Sidney Morgan turned SIX, we all fell in love with Ylvis and "The Fox", I talked about pregnancy hemorrhoids, that sweet husband and I celebrated another anniversary (10 years of being together!), we had family photos taken, I wrote a heartfelt post about being on the fertile side of infertility and my struggles with what to (or not to) say, and I turned 25!!

::OCTOBER::

October brought The Walking Dead back into our zombie-void lives (hallelujah!) - I talked about some crazy pregnancy brain I was having, I really kicked it with the TT posts, and of course, Halloween was celebrated - I even did an awesome TBT post about it!

::NOVEMBER::

I recapped about the time the girls and I trekked to Tweetsie Railroad with Gran & Pops, talked about thriving versus surviving with three kids, fell in love with random country songs, posted about my sleeping tornado of a daughter, and about what it's like having a not-a-baby-anymore baby girl!

::DECEMBER::

I ended the year getting "creative" in the kitchen, got big and pregnant and took the same selfie I had taken over two years ago with RJ (same bathroom & everything!), we bought a new Christmas tree, I lamented the last month of my boy being a baby before he celebrates his first birthday next month, and we had a wonderful Christmas off-line and in-tune with what really matters!

And surprise! On the very last day of December, our little boy was born, shocking us all -- he was early and he was a "HE". All that time spent preparing for our Jameson ended up with us meeting our Toby. The best end of the year gift anyone could ask for!

I love, love, love doing these "end of the year" recaps -- even when I haven't been the best blogger in the land, I still love looking back over a year's worth of moments and memories that might've fallen into oblivion if I hadn't taken the time to screen cap them!

Back to Work...Soon!

Next week marks my last week of maternity leave -- and I feel conflicted. I am so beyond ready to go back to work, to be in a normal routine of what I know and love; I can't wait to get back to my desk and back to my job and interact with other adults on a daily basis. But I am going to miss my babies. I'm going to miss the little moments that happen daily, the things only I can really appreciate as a momma. Our days are sometimes long and maddening, but they're never "dull" -- keeping up with these kiddos is a full time job in itself, especially the tag team trouble of Rhealen + Jaxon.

Those two.....world look out.

I'm going to miss my Toby snuggles, my sweet baby that is so calm and happy. I'm going to miss so much, literal and figuratively speaking.

I love working and I'm thankful to have a job to help support our family, but I admit sometimes I think it'd be nice to stay home full time (although I don't know if I'm cut out for it) -- my hat is off to those mommas and poppas who stay home with their children, y'all are boss!

I plan to really focus and enjoy my last week home -- but I'm also focusing on getting back to work and diving back in head first. 

And because no post is complete without some photos, here's a photo dump of what it looks like hanging at home:

Toby - Month 1

Yesterday our little Toby Fields marked being with us for one month! Hard to believe it, as always, but I fully expect him to be turning 18 tomorrow the way time flies these days.

Toby is a wonderful baby, the perfect fourth addition of our children. He eats, sleeps, and poops just as a newborn should. He's never fussy, never minds having to hang out and wait on momma while I tend to the rest of the crowd. He's so patient with all the hands that want to hold him or poke him (or sometimes karate chop him, as Jaxon is prone to doing sometimes) - he sleeps snuggled in between Justin and me at night, and during the day, sleeps wherever he lays his head. Sometimes he's in his crib, other times in Jaxon's crib, and sometimes he even sleeps in his bouncy seat (although that can be a dangerous position with Jaxon on the loose!)

Our little "Tobes, Toad, Toby Buddy" is the most gassy baby I've ever met, but he doesn't seem to mind - he just farts his way through the day, and I get all the more gassy "smiles" for it!

He's growing like a little weed, changing so much already, I can't wait to hear how much he weighs now when we take him to the doctor on Monday.

Sometimes I look down at him snuggled in my arms and still can't believe he's really real and really here and really a boy! He has just fit right into our lives and home and heart, and while adjusting to four kids is quite the jolt!, he was meant to be here all along. 

To paraphrase "Juno", he helped complete our circle of love.