a decade ago

Well folks, we've made it through another decade! Y2K was such a disappointment, right? No worries, I'm sure 2012 will kill us all. Why is it we always have something so dreadful to look forward to each time a new decade approaches? Why can't we have something totally 'rad' to look forward to - like the biggest party ever in 2014? Let's look to the future for once with the thought that maybe things are actually going to be better than worse, how 'bout it? I don't think it's too much to ask....

But now let's talk about some really kick-ass things that happened 10 years ago and yes I had to Google all of this because I can barely remember what I had for breakfast yesterday!!!

1.) Spongebob Squarepants made it's official debut on Nickelodeon - and wouldn't you know ten years later it's still on TV all the freaking time?!

2.) Napster, the controversial and potentially illegal music downloading site launches - and I feel guilt free about this because I never used Napster (I used Ares).

3.) Microsoft releases the very first version of MSN Messenger - AND I TORE THAT SH*T UP BABY!!!

4.) The Woodstock '99 festival is held in New York - in pales in comparison to the original (duh).

5.) The last checkered cab is retired in NYC and auctioned off for over $100,000.00 (wow).

6.) The movie 'End of Days' is released - set in 1999 about how the world is coming to an end. Luckily, it was just a movie - and a dud movie at that. 'The Matrix' and 'Fight Club' are also released and are also set in the year 1999.

7.) 'Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace' is the highest grossing movie of the year pulling in $924,317,558.00 worldwide.

8.) Hilary Swank wins the Academy Award for 'Best Actress' for her role in 'Boys Don't Cry' - never seen it, but I've heard it's good.

9.) John F. Kennedy, Jr. and two others go missing in their airplane near Martha's Vineyard off the Mass. coastline.

10.) A first class stamp cost only $0.33 (compared to today's $0.42)

11.) Denver beat Atlanta for the Superbowl title (34-19)

12.) The Rev. Jerry Falwell calls out Tinky Winky of the Teletubbies as a 'gay role model' - he concludes that because Tinky Winky is purple, carries a purse, and has a triangle on his head, he is a homosexual.

13.) Doctors in Louisville, KY complete the first human hand transplant replacing the severed hand of a New Jersey man with that of a recently deceased man's.

14.) The last of the cigarette company billboards are taken down in April as part of $206 billion dollar agreement reached between the companies and 40 U.S. states.

15.) Andre Agassi (29) wins the Men's U.S. Open; Serena Williams (17) wins the Women's U.S. Open. I'm sure Mom and I were watching this - in fact, this may have been the year she wanted to go to NYC to watch the U.S. Open but I talked her out of it because it would've meant missing Duffield Daze - or maybe that was another year. I can't remember!

So, yeah, a lot of cool stuff happened in 1999. But then again, a lot of uncool things happened, too. I'd rather focus on the positive though (enough with the downers) if that's okay with you. What amazing things do you remember happening in 1999?

I could go into a big list of things I hope to accomplish in 2010 - but that's all for another time. Really, I just want to continue being happy and alive. I want my daughter to have a wonderful year learning new things, accomplishing the task of using the toilet and getting out of diapers, letting go of the paci and possibly prepping for the idea of becoming a big sister (NOTE: I said POSSIBLY prepping for the IDEA - don't read too much into that)! I hope Justin finds a job with a little security, and I hope we continue to build on this marriage. I want to be a better daughter, cousin, and friend to my loved ones. I just want to make 2010 better than 2009; that's my goal for every new year - to top the previous one!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

honorable mention

I've had all of Jay's self-doubting I can take! Seriously, the gal looks like this:

(sorry I stole your twitter pic, Jay!)

She's smart and funny and a fantastic blogger - she's witty and charming and about a million other adjectives that would look perfect on some random online-dating site. She's got "it" and she's going to go places in life...even if it's just down to the supermarket to buy groceries. She's making an impact on people out there, me included. I've been following  her blog for what feels like forever now; she's my across-the-pond friend, and if I ever get back to London she's taking me out for a night on the town (that's a request not a demand, Jay!).

And lately she's feeling down and out about her body (especially after reading crap like this) so I'm here to say 'NO MORE' to her! Jay, it's time you stepped up and loved yourself! If you gave yourself just 1/100th of the love you give those amazingly beautiful boys of yours, then you'd never have a body issue to begin with. Woman to woman, mother to mother, I say embrace yourself, dear. You've already proven to me how empowering it is to be a mom in these modern times; like I said, you inspire more lives than you realize. So love yourself. Love love love love love love love love love yourself - even when you don't want to. Even when it physically hurts to smile at yourself in the mirror. Even when you don't want to and you just don't feel like it and you think to yourself, 'today I'll have an ugly day'. NO YOU WON'T. You will be lovely and love thyself and all that jazz, you hear me? Because I want you to keep empowering people like me; I don't want you to let this get you down. You're too strong a woman to let that happen. You're too beautiful to let that happen to you - so hug the mirror. Embrace the woman, the mother staring back at you. And love that lady.

oh, dear

Whilest searching for all things CUPCAKE for my cupcake tumblr (Et Tu Cupcake) I came across this beauty! It's so cute and simple and adorable - and I'm really into necklaces at the moment. I've been playing with mine all-day, non-stop! So this is just perfection bottled up in a heart-shaped pendant (and for only $10 it's really affordable too)!

Super cute, right?

P.S. Sorry for the lack of words and the over abundance of pictures - I promise to do better in the new year!

honorable mention

Every time I see this photo from AFP, I burst out into hysterics - I spent a good 30 minute chunk of my time yesterday hee-hawing at this photo. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!!!

Please excuse me while I go pick my laughing self up off the floor...........

4th annual dinner

I'm so very excited for tonight. I MEAN EXCITED. I love seeing old friends more than I love making new ones and I love eating at Cheddar's - doing both in one night equals perfection!!! Tonight will mark the 4th annual girl's get-together for myself and my lady friends from my graduating class. It's crazy to think we've been doing this for FOUR YEARS but here we are - and it's a tradition I'm glad we're carrying on.

2006

(From L-R: Cassie, Regina, Miranda, Paige, Dobby, Savannah, Stephanie, Meghan & Me)

2007

(From L-R: Stephanie, Miranda, Paige, Cassie, Me, Dobby, Meghan and Savannah - Sidney's hiding back there behind Dobby)

2008

(From L-R: Paige, Me, Cassie, Dobby, Miranda, Savannah and Stephanie - Sidney wasn't there last year for whatever reason I can't remember now)

I'm also hoping we can get a bigger group of guys and gals from the Class of 2006 together for dinner later this week/sometime this weekend. Usually I'm an above-average party planner, but with Christmas vacations and Justin getting laid off at the last minute, my brain is totally fried. Hopefully, we can pull something off though - I'd love to see everyone again!

toot toot*

I might as well keep reminding you to check out my other blog(s) I have going on right now.

None So Pretty As You is dedicated to the beautiful things I find online - clothes, toys, home decor, etc. I like keeping all the pretties together in one place for me to look at.

Fish(Food) is for inspiration for the mind, body and soul. I'm a lover of words, to read and to write; and so I enjoy re-posting little tidbits of power through words. It's just a feel-good, speak-easy, listen-well blog.

These are my two babies that I try not to neglect; this blog here has my heart and soul, but I try to keep things seperated a little to help ease the confusion. I like being pulled in a million different directions by my constant ideas, but I hate the clutter (which is ironically funny if you've ever seen my house)! So please, take a moment to look/follow my other blogs - and if you've got any extra treats up your sleeves (other than your already fabulous blogs) send me the link! I'd love to feature some new stuff under my 'honorable mention' section!


*That's me 'tooting my own horn' by the way :) Not farting!

baaaaaack (with fb pictures)

I'm baaaaack! And feeling so very good this Monday morning...

How was your Christmas? Ours was lovely, largely in part thanks to the fact that we got our power back Wednesday night!!! That made life all the merrier for us; no one was exactly thrilled about having to open presents in the dark by candle/lantern light! SidMo raked in a huge amount of mostly Dora presents: books, pajamas, table/chair set, coats, shoes, make-up, games, movies, etc. We're pretty much stocked up on the whole Dora thing now.

I've got a ton of Christmas photos to relive with you, but I don't have all of them off the camera yet, so for now I'll just show you the pictures from the Titans v. Dolphins game the husband and I attended Sunday before last. If you follow(ed) the game, the Titans came out on top after going into overtime 27-24. Justin and I left about half-way into the 4th quarter - he loathes heavy traffic and was willing to skip out on a little of the game (especially since at that time, Dolphins were trailing and it didn't look good) to avoid the long lines and get home to our family. During the car ride home, when it went into overtime, the conversation went like this:

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LEFT EARLY!!!!!"
"I told you we should've stayed...."
"BUT I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE WE ACTUALLY LEFT. THEY'RE GOING TO COME BACK AND WIN AND WE'RE NOT THERE!!!!!"
"Well, Justin..............."
"DON'T SAY YOU TOLD ME SO!!!!!!!"
"Okay, I won't tell you 'I told you so' but I did tell you something along those lines."

GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE, WHINE, WHINE

*TITANS INTERCEPTION*

"Oh my gosh, the Titans are going to win it!"
"I'M SO GLAD WE LEFT EARLY!!! I WOULD'VE BEEN SO DAMN MAD!!!!"

We had a great time; it was the experience of a lifetime, one that I was happy to share with Justin for his first time (and me, my second). Hopefully, my grand-parents will keep their season tickets and we can sweet-talk them into letting us go again next year! (Hi, Mamaw Ruth!) Here are some pictures from the big day.

We got there extra early - no one was there!

Justin's 1st time in an NFL stadium - he's giving me that 'no pictures, Mom' look but I wanted to document the moment!

Not our section, nor our seats - just a nice view of the teams warming up

Justin told me to 'get pictures of the Dolphins guys warming up' - and so I did sort of

Pre-game (Final Score 27-24)

He got a cheeseburger, fries and a Coke. I got a turkey leg and a Sprite. The grand total? Twenty-freaking-eight dollars!

But oh man, is that turkey leg gooooooooood!

I'm smiling here, but on the inside I'm ready to kill my husband. We had elevator passes but we got confused and instead of asking for help, he demanded we just take the ramps. UGGGGH. I hate being cold and hot at the same time!

We made it to our seats three flights up! There really are no bad seats at this stadium - even being that high up you see everything!

And look, we had a great view of my favorite building in Nashville!

I got a little snap-happy with the jumbo-tron. But the colors are just amazing!

Cold but happy - counting down the minutes to kick-off!

Big huddle before running back inside the stadium...

Big huddled mass coming back out of the stadium...

And for Justin, I got a shot of Jason Taylor in the big-screen during the coin toss!

I took a ton of pictures during the game as well, but I won't bore you with those shots. They're mostly for Justin to drool over and pass around for bragging rights. Although whenever he gets to bragging, I'm all too quick to remind him that the Dolphins lost that game....to my Titans....in overtime...by a fieldgoal.

Ahh, victory. She is sweet.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

From Our Family to Yours,

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

There will be no Etsy Treasure Hunt this weekend - we are still without power and I know everyone will be busy with holiday doings! Look for next Friday's theme soon: I'm thinking of going with either diamons of Twilight (two of my favorite things) - what do you think?

honorable mention

(via mackenzie bee's flickr photostream)

I saw this tattoo and couldn't help but smile. I am hopeful, always hopeful for today, tomorrow and beyond.

not the best Christmas week ever

I don't want to delve into the subject too deeply because I don't want to sound like I'm whining. I'm a lucky lady, I know that. I have many blessings and I count them daily.

But still yet...Justin got laid off Thursday. We've been expecting it for awhile, but now that it's here the reality of it is surreal. We'll make it through. We might be spread thin and Christmas might not be all we were hoping it'd be for SidMo, but she'll understand. We have each other and that's all that really matters. In the end, that's all that will ever matter.

We're also part of the local community dealing with the rolling power outtage. It's been off since Friday; luckily we were in Columbia until yesterday. Not so lucky for us is the thought that the power might not be turned on until AFTER Christmas. Maybe if we open presents in the dark, SidMo won't notice Santa was kind of puny this year. Maybe not.

No matter though, we're perservering. We will have a wonderful Christmas, celebrating our family and our friendships. SidMo will love the gifts she gets and the time she'll spend with everyone. Even at 2-years-old I think she knows part of the reason for the season (even though she was understanding and excited about Santa and "presnits" this year). I am hopeful for the future. I know Justin will find a way to provide for us through everything. We will overcome this bump in the road the same way we overcome everything in our life: together as one, bound to each other by love, hopeful for tomorrow and all the promises a new day can bring.

I Spy the Cyrus Parents

I'm shocked. I'm stunned. I'm speechless....almost.

I know that by even writing this, and re-posting this, I'm probably adding more fuel to the fire I'm trying to extinguish. But I just don't get things sometimes. And when things overwhelm me, I come here and explain them hoping that maybe you won't get them either, and then I won't feel so alone in my uncertainty.

Where in the world are the Cyrus parents at? Seriously, do they have their heads so far up their butts that they can't be bothered to watch their own children anymore? You know, to teach them right and wrong, appropriate from inappropriate? Have they just completely given up on parenting their children? I realize that Miley has raked in more $$$ than they'll be able to spend in three lifetimes, but seriously - they have younger childen (and older) who still need them. Heck, even Miley still needs them! But I've given up on her. Now, I'm just waiting for the Britney-esque trainwreck to ensue.

But there was is hope for Noah, whom I believe is their youngest daughter at age 9. Read that again folks, she's ONETWOTHREEFOURFIVESIXSEVENEIGHTNINE. I get that it must be pretty cool to be able to hang backstage at your big sister's concert and see all these dancers and lights and hear loud music. It's a total celebrity lifestyle; one little Noah's been around since birth, only amplified by her sister's success. She knows no other way of life. And I understand as a young girl, she must be somewhat jealous of all the attention her sister (and other famous siblings) get. Just like any other normal nine (see how I keep stressing the nine year old part here?) year old girl, I'm sure there are times when she wants the spotlight on her, if only for a moment. She wants a little recognition, too - I get that. It's something we've all dealt with before, as children ourselves and with our kids.

However, I can't believe that the following happened:

And the only thing that Noah learned from this little situation? Shake your butt, sing a little song, and the room will go crazy for you - they'll all stop to look at you, cheer for you, and talk about you for days/weeks afterwards. NOT A GOOD LESSON TO LEARN at NINE FREAKING YEARS OLD!!!!! Where are her parents? Where is someone, anyone to step in and say, "Look, nine year old Noah, you are just a kid. You shouldn't be shaking your butt in front of strangers singing a song by Akon about sex! You should be playing with Barbies, having sleepovers with your friends this late at night - not backstage at your sister's concert!"

DEEP.BREATH. IN. AND. OUT.

Now, that's my initial reaction - to jump and scream and judge and call out her no-good parents and their no-good parenting skills. Obviously, that's a knee-jerk reaction, and I should take a moment to reflect and review.

IN. AND. OUT.

Noah is only a 9 year old kid. She probably has very little clue about how intensely graphic that song is; she also probably doesn't associate those movements she's doing with the actual movements they're meant to be. She's just attention-hungry and knows that people laugh and smile at her and focus only on her for two minutes out of the day. That's about as far as her internal processing goes, I'm sure. She's an innocent here; confused by stardom and looking for a little love. I get that. I sympathize with her situation. I almost feel bad for her in a way.

But that still does not exclude Billy-MulletLoving-Ray and Mommy-Tish! Where are you people hiding at? You've already fame-whored out one child; isn't that enough? Can't we just save sweet, little Noah from all of this? You've got your $$$; you've had more than your fair share of the allotted 15 minutes. Seriously, a nine year old girl should not be looking like this:

Not in Hollywood...not anywhere on this planet.

I dare you to spot the parents in this picture. Do you see them? Look real hard. Get really close to your monitor and squint your eyes. Are you squinting? Are you two inches from your screen? Do you see them?!

Nope. Neither do I.

two never looked so bad (or good)

The 2's - is there anything quite like them? And before you say the 3's, I say SHUT UP. I don't want to hear that next year is going to be far worse than this year - it's the only thing that helps keep me going through every tantrum and scream-session; the hope, the promise that 3 is going to be better.

So like I was saying, these terrible 2's are in full swing for Little Miss Can't Be Wrong. I always had the general notion that she'd be handful, mainly because she has Justin for a father. I knew that the deck was stacked against me before I ever even had the chance to bid - it's just fate, revenge, destiny...whatever you want to call it. He was such a turd when he was a kid (just ask his Mom) that I knew it would be coming back to him three-fold. I'm just a passenger on this crazy train.

SidMo has blossomed into a brilliant, gorgeous little kid. It amazes me daily how much she knows; she's like a little sponge. She just absorbs the world around her (including a few D-bombs lately) and she's able to knock me off my chair with her language skills. She knows things I didn't even know she knew - but she does! And she's just beautiful - that wild mop of hair makes me laugh, smile and sigh. I wished that for her, you know. I wished and prayed and hoped for every single curl on her head. And there they are: wild and unruly and just beautiful.

But with all these good-looks and smarts, she's also developed this A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. I'm a fairly patient parent. I don't get bent out of shape easily; and I don't get embarassed when she throws a riot. Most of the time, I try my best to ease the situation into something managable with a bribe or promise. If I can remove her from the scene of the tantrum, I will. I resort to spanking her as a last resort; but sometimes she just needs it. (Yes, I'm a parent that spanks. I've yet to read or hear or witness any scenario where spanking hurt the child more than it helped.) She's got this whole foot-stomping, angry scrunched-up face routine followed by lots of "no's" and "uh-uh's". Sometimes she tries to hit (insert: spank) and that's where I really draw the line. I know these days you have to be careful of how/where you discipline your kids, but I refuse to stand in a public place letting my own child hit me. I realize she's only 2 years old, but she knows enough already to know that's not allowed period.

I always knew she'd hit this stage eventually. I guess I should just count my lucky stars that she hit it at 2 years, 3 months as opposed to just 2 years flat. With all of this attitude comes great laughter, though. It's a diva attitude that sometimes is just too funny not to laugh at. Take for instance, her love of makeup. She's turning into such a girly-girl. I had left some old makeup in a diaper bag I used to out with one night (clever, I know) and forgot about it when I put it back in her room. One night last week, Justin and I are sitting on the couch and we realize SidMo's being awfully quiet in her room. Justin pokes his head in there and just starts cracking up.

Someone was having a little bit too much fun in Momma's makeup!

But I have to give her points for knowing where everything goes - even I haven't got that one quite figured out yet.

The beautiful, silly, crazy, loud, ugly, rowdy, dainty, dolled-up terrible 2's - is there anything quite like them?

honorable mention

Today I found Holly's blog Create*Loves and I'm hooked already. It's such a pretty site, and Holly's a laugh (it's hard to be witty and pregnant - well at least it was for me).

Create*Loves is my honorable mention for the day - make sure you check it out ASAP!

a brand new look for the ole gal!

So what do you think of the fabulous new blog look? I'm loving it! I've been working on perfecting it for awhile now, and this is the look I've been waiting to unveil! I toyed around with a lot of different templates, but this one just stole my heart. It's simple, cute, light and perfect - just perfect.

So tell me - what do you think?

I also re-vamped my other three blogs:

None So Pretty as You
Fish(Food)
Mary Ruth Gilliam Photography

someone please talk some reason into me

I posted this wallet on my other blog, None So Pretty as You:

And I can't stop thinking about it!!! It's way too expensive ($165) but I just cannot get it out of my head. That blue is the most electrifying blue I think I've ever seen. Proenza Schouler sure knew what they were doing when they made this little lady - I'm in love with a wallet, dear god help me.

And the crazy thing is, I really want it - I'm pining for a wallet. I've never done this before. I've never seen a fashion-y item like a purse or a coat or a pair of shoes and just instantly knew 'I have to have it'! What's even crazier is the fact that this wallet is Out of Stock on the website, so I sit and think of other ways to find and buy it. Read my lips: I CANNOT AFFORD THIS WALLET.

Normally, I would never justify spending so much on something so little. But I just can't get this thing out of my head. I want it. I want you so bad, it's driving me mad.  Someone please say something to reason with my brain - help me get this damned luxe leather wallet out of my head. Or else my bank account, my marriage and my Christmas might suffer.

Oh, jeez.

marital education thus far

I have been married 80+ days - I think that qualifies me in some small way to speak on what I've learned so far about being married.

#1 - They say you never really know someone until you live with them; I've found that to be true beyond words. I've also found that you never really know your relationship with someone until you've married them. It's such a different relationship, knowing that you're legally bound to someone. I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It's no so much a feeling of property or never-ending restraints; it's mostly a feeling of weight and responsibility, but in a good way. It's like the difference between having something bought for you and buying it for yourself: when you've worked for it, made the extra steps and involved yourself in the entire process, you feel more for it. You feel like it's something worth fighting for, something worth maintaining. It has more meaning becase it's something you've earned, not won without reason.

#2 - Marriage is hard. H-A-R-D. Any relationship is hard to maintain over the years, but there's something about maintaining a marriage that seems harder. Maybe it's because you know there's nothing really beyond this step. When you're dating, you dream about what it's like to be engaged. When you're engaged, you dream about what it's like to married. When you're married, you dream about what it's like to divorced. HA! I'm joking, mostly. It's kind of like this is the last stop before forever. This is the final straw, the last hoorah. Every day from here on out is just marriage. And it takes work to keep that marriage going, to keep it strong and rooted in something substantial.

#3 - Comprising isn't very fun at all. Doing something for someone else is fun most of the time - but when it means you have to not do something for yourself in order to do something for the other one, it kind of sucks. It's awful to have to restrain yourself about getting mad about the toilet lid being up all the time; because you have to save your complaints for something more meaningful like actually peeing in the toilet and not on the floor and no I don't care that it was early in the morning and you were half asleep, it's not that hard to keep in the bowl I don't believe you. You have to pick and choose your battles - and that's not always easy.

#4 - There's no reason you can't have a fun relationship with your husband. Justin has always been a comedian; that's part of the reason I love him. He's just a funny, silly, goofy guy and he always has been, ever since we started dating as kids. And for the most part, we're still kids in a lot of ways. We have a lot of fun in our house; I'm not sure if Sidney is the reason for that or not, but she certainly helps keep the atmosphere fun and light and always playful. I know we're only getting older, every day closer and closer to adulthood and further away from our childhoods, and I know we're adults now and we're parents - and with that comes certain adult responsibilities. But that doesn't stop us from being crazy every once in awhile. We wrestle and play and tickle and play tag in the house. We jump on beds and blow bubbles in the bathroom and play hide and seek. We scare each other jumping out from around corners and fart on each other while we're laying on the couch. Maybe we're just a silly little family, but I've discovered it only helps add love and laughter into my relationship with Justin. It keeps us young and keeps us sane putting up with all of this mature/adult crap!

#5 - You have to trust your husband. You have to understand that he is the man you've chosen, the one you want to hold your family together. As much as I love my family and friends, Justin is my husband. It is my duty to support him, to uplift him and to keep him as happy as I can. When we fight, I can't run to my friends and complain. I can't throw our problems around for the rest of the world to judge and discuss. This is our marriage, our struggles, our life. It is up to us to pull through together; it's up to us to be the ones who walk through fire and don't get burnt. It's up to us to be a team and support one another. Sometimes it's hard; all I want to do is gripe and complain about how lousy he's been around the house or how I hate the way he doesn't do all the things I wish he would. But that's just not how you handle things. There has to be some code of secrecy, some private things that exist only between husband and wife. You have to lean on one another before you lean on someone outside your marriage.

As much as I may seem like a pessimist, please don't get me wrong. I love my marriage. I love the ups and downs and insides and outs of being a wife. But I don't sugarcoat things - I don't have a fairytale idea of how things should be. This is my real life, my real marriage. It's not always sunshine every day, and it's not always easy. Some people might say it should just "click" and be smooth and it shouldn't be an uphill battle at any stage during marriage; but those people are either crazy or very lucky if you ask me. I think the majority of us out there have to work at it. Maybe not every day, but there are days when you can feel it. Days that are harder than others; and it's those days you have to make the choice to be present in your marriage. Days when you can't give up or give in. Please understand me, I don't judge anyone. I know it's hard - I know it only gets harder the longer you stay together. Sometimes it gets too hard, and getting out is the only option. But for Justin and I, we've taken that option out of the equation. Divorce isn't an option for us, no matter what. We refuse to give up on each other and on this relationship. We've been through so much already in our six years together, we're pretty confident in each other and in this marriage. We feel that we can make it through whatever obstacles get thrown our way. And we will, as long as we continue to make the effort. I have no doubts about that.

So, yeah, marriage is a battle. There's passion and fire and ice and love. It's a choice. A feeling. An idea of how two people should be together, side by side in love and in marriage. It's fun and funny. It's the stuff of dreams and movies - poems and songs. It's up and down, hard and soft. It's a wild ride, one that I've come to love.

"You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a rollercoaster...up, down, up down - what a ride!...I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it." (Parenthood)

BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

Video link here ---Found via You Are My Fave

OMG, these are some cute kids. Watching this struck me two different ways: one was in pure sweetness because, obviously, those are some darn cute kids and who wouldn't love to watch a movie about nothing but babies unless you're a baby-less, baby-hating turd and then you can just suck my big toe. But then, two, I felt something tugging at my heartstrings and not neccesarily in a good way. It reminded me that babies are born every day in millions of different corners around the world. Not all of them are as fortuante as my baby; and I must remind myself to count my blessings and be thankful for what I have - above all, a happy,  healthy little girl.

I probably won't go see this in theaters because of said little girl but I definitely think I'll catch it when it's out on video.

who doesn't love a ukulele

Again I say, if this doesn't make you LOL (or at least smile) then we'll never be friends. Because this kid is too cute; and this sweet, little video is too funny!

where I leave my tracks

I thought it'd be kind of fun to show you a little bit of what it is I do when I get online - kind of like a roadmap of all the places I go and the people I love to stalk visit.

Usually the first thing I do when I get online is go straight to facebook. It's my favorite social networking site for keeping up with friends and family (almost all of them are locals, but it's hard to keep up with that many people even if they do live locally - this is why I love FB). 99% of my friends on FB are people I know from either school or work or play.

After FB, I usually come here to my blog. I check to see if any of you peeps have been commenting on my latest posts. If so, I run over to hotmail and reply back to you (unless you have your settings set to no-reply and then I can't do anything)! If I have enough time I love to check out some of my favorite other blogs out there if I see they've posted recently. Here's a list of my top 10 blogs to read (and these are in no particular preference order):

mocha beanie mummy

dooce

girls gone child

the sphors are multiplying

the doe or the deer

My Life as Mrs. B

Be Different, Act Normal

Waiting for Bean

Pacing the Panic Room

Mommy Melee

From the blog(s) I go to Twitter to spend a few minutes checking in with everyone, and to catch up on a little online gossip. I love Twitter, as I've expressed before (and as Jay from mbm did here)! It's a wonderful online community that is just fun and (most of the time) pretty pointless as my husband will tell you BUT every now and then, you get to join in on topics worth discussing, comfort people when they're in need, and raise money for families going through hard times. Twitter is a powerful tool that can be weilded for good or bad; and 99% of the time, I use it for good only (because I like to talk about my marriage, my love for protein bars, and my puppies).

After Twitter, if I've got enough time, I check out MySpace, People, and my $$$. There are plenty of other sites I look at, when I can steal a second before I leave work or if it gets quiet enough at home. But this is my usual routine...although sometimes when I'm feeling frisky, I go to Twitter before my blog. And I go to my blog before I go to facebook. Sometimes I skip Twitter altogether, and just spend all my time on facebook! I'M SUCH A REBEL!  And obviously, such a dork!

What's your online routine? What sites do you have to check out every time you log in?

do yourself a favor

AND CHECK OUT THIS BLOG:

F*CK YOU, PENGUIN

Seriously, if this doesn't make you LOL then I don't think we'll ever be BFF!

It's effing EPIC.

don't do this me, Johnny Depp!

I've mentioned it on Twitter before, but it's really starting to scare me how much my beloved Johnny Depp is starting to look more and more like Mickey Rourke every day. And quite frankly, it breaks my heart and scares the sh*t out of me simultaneously! I want to let out a silent but giant 'NOOOOOOOO!' right now just thinking about it!!! My adorable, scruffy, tattoo-displaying, dimples with that smile, toussled hair, gorgeous voice Johnny Depp - how can this be happening to you?

What further solidifies my total freak-out is that fact that I recently watched 9 1/2 weeks for the first time a few nights ago, and OMG! Mickey R. was a fox back in the day! How did I not know this? And how did something so handsome turn into something so ugly?! I'm serious here, people....

From this:

To this:

I mean, I sort of get it - times are hard. You fall out of the spotlight. You battle your demons. And time takes it's sweet revenge on your face and body. But seriously? There's no reason he should look that bad, no matter the circumstances.

And the fact that my sweet J. Depp has started showing up to places like this:

O, how it makes me want to cry! :( Where is my sexy leading man? Where is my handsome, devlish swash-buckling pirate who looks so good whether he's playing Jack, Edward or Roux? Honestly, where is this guy:

O Holy Night - he's a hottie!

Well, no matter how Johnny Depp ages, at least I can take a little comfort in the fact that he once was beautiful. He may be able to turn around the tide and age a little more gracefully than before. But seriously - looking like Mickey Rourke may have been a complement way back when, but in today's world? It's not a pretty picture.

Not as pretty as this is, for instance:

sigh, swoon and thud

Drink him up, me hearties. Yo ho, indeed!

Christmas Wish-List (4th Edition)

REMEMBER THESE? I adore these.

I never say this to Sidney. But I'd still rock one of these necklaces.

I love this mustard satchel by Angie & Lola from Target! Extra-awesome in my book!

Maybe next year I'll do a Mario-themed Christmas tree....I think so!

scent of a man (mine in particular)

There is nothing so delicious as the smell of a man. Well, maybe except for the smell of a baby. Or puppy's breath. Or warm cookies. Or new car.

Okay, so there's almost nothing so delicious as the smell of a man. Just the other day, a good-looking good-smelling man came in the office. I didn't realize he was so wonderful smelling until he left because I was a good girl and resisted the urge to jump across my desk and I was able to walk over to where he once stood. His cologne lingered...and it was some damn good cologne! It matched him perfectly. I hate to see/smell a man wearing cologne that is just all wrong for them; some people can carry certain scents. On others, it just washes over them and comes across too strongly.

Justin has several scents. I remember those first few months of dating when it was winter, and he'd wear this great big gray and blue, puffy, flannel jacket. I'd lean up against his chest and just breathe him in. He was so warm...and smelled so good. To this day if I smell that cologne my mind just goes back to those crazy first few weeks. He only wears cologne on special occasions nowadays; and I'm kind of grateful. I'm afraid if he wore it too often I'd get accustomed to it. And I never want to grow "used to" that scent. I always want that weak-knee feeling it gives me. I treasure it.

I also love his "clean" scent. He never uses the same bodywash/soap two times in a row, but he always manages to come out of the shower smelling the same. It's lovely - well, he wouldn't want me calling him "lovely", so I'll say it's amazing. Awesome. The best. And it really is...the BEST second best to Sidney.

And then there's his "dirty" smell, too. I know you'll think I'm crazy (and a little gross) but I used to love that post-football game smell boys' had. The sweat and stink and dirt and salt. LOVED IT. It was only made more magical to me when the weather turned real cold, and they'd steam as they kneeled there in the huddle, sweating and steaming - steaming and sweating. Whew! Makes me smile just thinking about it! I love when Justin's been busy working outside and he comes in all covered in sweat (and usually either grass or grease). It's a familiar smell; it makes me happy even as it kind of grosses me out a little.

What I'm trying to say is, I appreciate a good and sometimes bad smelling man. I'm so thankful for my sense of smell and for all the memories it helps to trigger on a daily basis. I'm thankful for my husband and his ever-changing scent.

Does your partner have a favorite cologne that makes you smile? Any smells you adore that most people cringe at?

Dear Ryan

Ryan has an amazing post up at Pacing the Panic Room this morning. Really, it's quite moving. And it's inpsired me to chime in with my two cents.

I think what Ryan's dealing with is the endless guilt that comes with being a new parent. Yes, I realize he's been LB's step-dad for quite some time now, but it's still not exactly the same as having a child born of your body, made from the fibers of yourself. A step-child is parallel to your other children, equal in almost every way, except for little ways that only you can feel as a parent. This guilt he's feeling is common and well-known and shared by parents all over the world; what I think a lot of people don't realize about this guilt, however, is that is spills out beyond parenting into your professional and personal life. You start to feel guilty about everything. It manages to tie itself into every single aspect of your life, whether you realize it or not.

You find yourself questioning every move, every sentence, every decision you make. You constantly worry about right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. Who are you really screwing up here? Your kids or yourself? How do you balance all the things you want to do for your children with the things you need to do? How do you incorporate all these ideas and philosophies you have into daily life with your child(ren)? I don't think I can count how many times I said "why?" during those first months with my daughter (sometimes I still find myself saying them without reason).

And that's the main bullet I'm trying to make here: we do these things without reason. Why do we have to even say "why"? Why do we question the way we do things, as parents and as people? Even the least troubled person in the world will find themselves asking the question "why?" when they become parents.

Why can't I do anything right? Why do I sound like such an asshole all the time? Why do people have to comment on everything I do? Why does my kid have to live up to these standards? Why am I doing it this way? Why don't people shut up? Why don't people help out more? Why does my kid do this? Why can't I be more like this? Why? Why? Why?

This guilt, this poisonous guilt that comes with parenting, is the root of all of our why's. We feel guilty for everything, even when we're doing things the "right" and "best" way we can. We try to share our experiences with one another and offer support (and sometimes advice); but then we start to second guess ourselves and think we're unworthy of giving anyone else support/advice. We want to stand up and be proud of ourselves and our parenting skills, but this guilt eats away at us and makes us believe we are useless as parents. We keep saying "why didn't I do things differently".  It's an endless cycle. I don't know that I'll ever feel 100% confident in my success as a parent. I'll always look at my daughter and remember times when I could've done things different, done them better. And I'll ask myself "why was I such an idiot".

Ryan, I think you should know that you are worthy of telling your own story. We are just your readers, your audience. We can follow daily, read every entry, every tweet and article. But that's as personal as our experience gets. We only know your family in the manner that you (and Cole) let us. You shouldn't feel guilty about the way you write. If anything, it is our fault as readers for not looking at things through your eyes; we must put aside our own personal guilts and trials, and be clean states for interpretation. Sure, we can use our own experiences to back up our comments, but they shouldn't get in the way of your story. Personally, I think your blog is beautiful. It's inspiring. You're an honest person telling a raw and honest story of a young family's daily life. It's not glamorous. It's not glossed over and perfected to the point it's unrecognizable. To me, it's genuine and real. And that's what keeps me coming back for more. I enjoy your struggle as a parent, as it helps to remind me that I'm not alone in this realm of guilt and ceaseless questions that begin with "why". I hope you continue to grace us with your words, your thoughts, your hopes for your children. If nothing else, know that you have inspired another reader, another parent, another human being in this world...and for that I am ever grateful.



If you don't read Ryan's blog already, I encourage you to check it out here.

Holiday Music: 50s & 60s

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the perfect combination

Ask any of my close friends and they'll tell you I have a slightly unhealthy obsession with Rob Zombie. I know what you're thinking...Rob Zombie? Really? Out of all the men out there in the world, you obsess over Rob freaking Zombie?!

And the answer is YES. I love him. His music. His movies. Even his looks (when he's not in costume). I even love his wife almost as much as I love him. There's just something about him that I cannot explain that draws me in and keeps me captivated. Maybe it's the freak in him. Or the artist. Or the rebel. Or the dirty boy. Or the rockstar lifestyle. Or his voice. Or his style. Or all of the above!

So far, my absolute favorite Rob Zombie film is "The Devil's Rejects". I think it's horrific and gross and funny and all-out awesome. Usually I have to watch it at home by myself because Justin is over it, and he knows that I'm sitting there thinking about Rob Zombie and his wife the entire time. And my absolute favorite scene from that movie is at the end - the grand finale. Maybe it's because I like to think I'm a true Southern gal with true Southern pride, but there's just something about the combination of guns and "Free Bird" and this movie that jump starts my heart. It pumps me up right as the movie goes off; and then I want go shoot something (note: I said something, not someone).

It just electrifies my soul and makes me smile and root for the bad guys, even though they've done nothing but cause mayhem, death and destruction throughout the entire movie (and in the previous movie "House of 1,000 Corpses"). Even if you've never seen, nor want to ever see, the movie just watch the clip below. Does it stir you the way it stirs me?

Maybe it's just me (actually, I know that's not true because Dobby felt the same way)...but this just is the epitome of an awesome ending to an awesome movie for me made even awesome-er because I know Rob Zombie directed it.

And here are some of my absolute favorite Rob Zombie songs:

Foxy Foxy

Never Gonna Stop

Dragula

Don't judge me...I know everyone's got that one freaky person they hate to love but just can't help it!