4th of July photo series

I know this is a little late, but I've been super busy with work and school and vacationing and taking care of my sick munchkin and life in general is just going a million miles an hour right now!!! I took about a bazillion pictures at our shindig at mom's house, but many of them don't make sense unless A.) you know those crazy people or B.) you were there to see what transpired before/after each shot. So I'll just share a few of my favorites from the day - unfortunately that was the first day SidMo started feeling poorly, so she wasn't the best sport at taking pictures. It had something to do with that stomach bug she had, but I'd say all those hotdogs and watermelon seeds she swallowed didn't help much either.


equal parts festive and goofy



my grand-mother and the little cousin brennen



crazy, goofy, beautiful, festive dobby



and dobby's poser of a boyfriend dustin



Independence Day kisses



our mini-fireworks display in the backyard - mostly smoke :)



water balloons!!!!!!



can you tell they're excited?!?



we gave 'em hell - even though they're just kids



it's a good look for me, no?



SidMo played with an empty balloon



and then she played on her new slide



the kiddos and I went to big stone gap



and we took a little trolley-ride around town



three very different reactions to the fireworks!!!




but we all had a good time :)

baby girl was sick

Here are some camera-phone shots I took of the sick kid - I've got real vacation photos coming soon!










we look pretty rough after a night of marathon-puking, don't we?








there was much grumpiness and much sleepiness to be had...








...confusion and disorientation, too.





but holding hands always makes a girl feel better.

pretty pathetic of me

So it's been almost a week since I last blogged - and even then I only blogged long enough to say "I'm not blogging". Pretty lame, right?

Well, I'm not here to blog today either. Here's the problem: we don't have Internet at our house. Meaning I have to blog either at work, at my mom's, or at Justin's dad's house. It's frustrating - even when I'm blogging about a whole lot of nothing (as if any of my work is top secret) I hate having extra eyes around to watch me. Is that excess paranoia? Probably. But I'm weird like that - I don't want anyone to see anything until I have the finished project. Plus I have to upload all my photos, organize them, get my thoughts and pictures straightened out and then try to blog about it coherently. Needless to say, it's time consuming. And seemingly impossible with SidMo running around wanting to take up 99.9% of my free time.

So, I promise to be back - really back - soon. For my trusty few readers out there, I hope you'll still come back and read me once I get back on track. I'm working hard to keep up with all my favorite blogs, but it's hard when I only have limited Internet access time. Hopefully we'll get the grand ole Internet at our house soon - and then I can resume living like a normal person in 21st century. Or at least the 20th.

be back soon

It's a Monday and I'm not at work - that's always a good thing. But I'm still having to "work". Poor SidMo is sick. And we're 7 hours from home in Williamsburg visiting Dad - not the best timing. She and I were up all night fighting to get to the trash can in time and working hard to keep the explosive crap in her diaper - sometimes we suceeded. Other times we failed horribly. It's been a whirlwind of sickness for the last 24 hours so I'm hoping we're finally going to slow down a little. I don't know how she's supposed to have any fun on this little vacation if she keeps tossing her cookies and blowing the bottom out of her shorts, poor girl.

And seeing as how we're on vacation, blogging might be a little sluggish for me. I've got my 4th of July post in que but it'll have to wait until I get home before I can get it posted. Plus, I'm sure I'll have a ton of pictures and tidbits from our trip to share - next week should be a busy blogging week from me. So even though I might be quiet this week, I'll be rip roaring and ready to go in a few days.

For now though, I'm going to nurse my sick little one, hope she feels better by tonight and enjoy spending some Q-time with my dad and step-mom. This is very close to my birthplace, my first hometown. Just the smell of fresh water in the air and sand beneath the grass makes my toes tingle. It's like coming "home", even though my true home is 300 miles away. I hope everyone has a wonderful and restful week - see you soon!!!

P.S. To follow me a little more closely on our trip, just follow me on Twitter!

I believe there are angels among us

This past week has been a rough one for me, I'll admit. It only took us three weeks to finally hit our breaking point -- Justin and I have been at each other for days and days now. We know we're annoying each other and purpose and yet we just can't stop ourselves. It's like we're fifteen (and seventeen) all over again just picking at each other because we're bored. Between dealing with that between us, I've also been worrying about money (who doesn't?) and school (I had to take a mid-term yesterday that I'm pretty sure I bombed) and other grown-up things I've scooted onto my plate since we moved in together. It's enough to make my head explode -- I love to be busy and I always have, but I hate being worried about being busy. I'm not managing my time and resources properly and so it's causing everything in my life to be off-balanced and just a little left of center.

I need to pause. Let me rephrase: I needed to pause at one point yesterday but I never could find that moment.

Luckily for me, I have a guardian angel living under my roof every day. My moment of clarity, my tiny slice of heaven and peace happened yesterday around 6:00 pm. Sidney had just woke up from a late afternoon nap. I was finally able to rent the proper DVD from the video store (another aggravation) and so she was able to finally see Shrek 2 after weeks of only watching Shrek. It was one of those moments where I could just hear the wheels inside her head turning full-speed. She kept pointing at the TV yelling "SHREK! SHREK! MOM-MOM! SHREK!!!!" which I happily translated into "HOLY CRAP BATMAN - THERE'S MORE OF THESE MOVIES?!? WAY TO GO MOM. YOU'RE THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU". She's not even 2 yet - I'm allowed to freely translate her gibberish as I see fit, thank you.

Seeing her excited always makes me watch her even more closely than I normally do. I love to see those eyes of hers light up with joy. I love to watch her reacting to something she enjoys. This is where my true moment of clarity occurred - it was like a giant boulder of truth knocked me on the head with a resounding "DUH!" noise. I was sitting on the couch watching this movie with her -- SidMo was up running around, dancing to the music and having a ball. She realized I had a giant Route 44 cup of ice in my possession and so she came creeping over towards me (all the while dancing) and gave me this little smile. She looked and the cup, she looked at me and then down into the cup to check out what goodies I really had in there. The way she said "Mom-Mom" just made me smile, cry and hug her all at the same time. Does this sound crazy? Maybe.

But I needed something - anything - to bring me back into reality, bring my life back into perspective. And she helped me do just that. I've been so bogged down worrying about my relationship and money and school and my job and blah blah blah -- I haven't been focusing on the most important thing in my life: Sidney. I've gone and turned myself into a "center of the universe" kind of being when I should have been revolving around SidMo the entire time. It was just like gears clicking - once I snapped back into that mode, my life felt better instantly. I wasn't thinking about anything but indulging my girl with a little crushed ice and extra TV time. I felt so good, so normal again, that I decided I'd take her outside to play again even though it was getting dark. We walked up and down the road, played with neighborhood dogs, and swung a little on our front porch swing. I felt revived -- alive again for the first time in a long time.

It's amazing how one simple smile or gesture or look from my daughter can do that to me. She can take away all the hurts and pains and worries of my world in an instant. I am so blessed to have this child in my life. I am so lucky beyond words that I have a constant reminder in her to now allow myself to be swallowed by darkness. She truly is my guardian angel -- and I am so in love with her yet again. It feels like we've been born again together in love. It feels absolutely perfect. It feels just like it should -- and that's the best feeling in the world.