Hey, Honey!

So....we own a boat!

And it's pretty awesome - even though Sidney has an irrational fear of the boat sinking every five seconds. And I'm not the best person in the world to help dock the boat (my nautical skills are non-existent). And RJ is a little too young to enjoy the fun in a bass boat.

It's still awesome - I definitely think Justin is going to be gone most weekends this summer out fishing. Not that I mind. This boat is a dream come true for him. I'm glad it all happened for him.

Even though I only got to spend a few hours at the lake with them Saturday (girls night out!), I can already see we're going to be lakeside a lot this year.

And I don't think any of us have a problem with that!

**Title for this post is from the joke "Boat Ride" by Jay Hickman - totally inappropriate and NSFW, but it's one of Justin's favorites. 

Flashback Friday

Sidney at Ormond Beach, FL 2009

We are leaving for the beach this upcoming Tuesday (!!!) and I cannot wait.

It's been too long since my toes have been in the water. Too long since I've had to dig sand out of every crevice of my body. Too long since seagulls surrounded me and waves knocked me down.

I'm a little nervous about having a sensitive little RJ, a very excited and impatient SidMo, and an unpredictable and hilarious husband (plus me!) all at the beach, all at the same time, ohmygod what have I done?

Beach, here we come (soon) !! 

35mm

Over the past few months, I've made myself put down my "big camera" - it got to be too much. Too much stress, too much pressure, too much aggravation. I built myself up and then tore myself down. I forgot what made pictures fun, and I lost my drive and passion for photography.

So, I just kind of up and quit. And I'm so much happier now.

Even though I was just a "hobbyist" and far from a professional, I really did enjoy taking photos for other people. I feel like I have a natural talent and a good eye, so it was nice to put a hobby I enjoyed to "work" to capture moments for people who couldn't really afford high-end photographers but were no less deserving of having their life's moments captured. It was an honor. And I still have every photo I've ever taken from the start (and I'll never delete them or get rid of them) - I love looking back on past shoots and seeing how much I've grown (and my clients!) in the past few years.

Still, no more taking photos for other people. It's just too much.

As part of stepping away from my "big camera", I made the comment that I really wanted to get back into film. You know? That stuff you had to buy, pack into your camera, and then get developed at the store? That awesome stuff.

I miss lugging around my old Canon Rebel 35mm taking photos and then waiting for the final results.

Justin on our first fishing trip to VA Beach back in 2004 or so. 

My favorite picture of Matt & LeAnna EVER. 

A sweet little Sidney, probably around 8 months.

I love the mystery of film, the non-quality quality that you get - especially with dated or expired film.I want to take more film photos! When we pack up and head for the beach (next week!) I think I'm going to only take disposable cameras. No digital nothing. Just good old-fashioned, cheap little hand-held disposable cameras.It's back to the basics, people. That's where it's at these days.

{run away and save your life}

Today, I need music like this just to get me over the "hump" - it's been one heck of a week already and it's only halfway done.

So for today, let's just turn up our favorite 90s dance music and have some fun!!


PS This is my 800th! post -- I'm very proud to be here, still blogging and sharing my journey. Thanks for reading! 

Sidney Morgan 4.7

My big little girl. The best big sister the world's ever seen. There is so much love in heart, so much to give to others, my pride in her is overwhelming.

In so many ways, she's your typical four-year-old. Whiny. Moody. Unpredictable. She hurts easily, forgets quickly, has the voracious mind to learn about everything and the attention span of a goldfish.

Then are so many times I have stop and remind myself, "she's only four" - she's so mature, so independent. She can do so much for herself, by herself - it's easy to think she doesn't need me.

But she does need me. Better than that, she wants me still. I am still the awesome-in-her-eyes Mom I've been for awhile. I impress her with my song choices, my knowledge of everything foreign to her, my stories. She asks so many questions; I have so many answers. It's just a fun age and time to be living in right now with her.

School has been the absolute most amazing thing to happen to this girl - she's a lover of learning, of structure, routine and expected outcomes. In the last eight months, she has "grown" so much, the transformation is astounding. I love to watch her write her name. Listen to her count. Hear her sound out words in her books. Identify animals and money and all the little things that feel so second-nature, I forget that I, too, once had to learn all these things for the first time. Her mind just amazes me; I can't wait to see how she grows and continues to learn down the road...

She's still got that wild mane of hair I love so much - unmanageable and free as the breeze. Full of volume, curls hanging all around. She's been blessed/cursed with a fabulous head of hair. And just like me, she hates for anyone to touch it. Don't brush it. Don't put it up. Don't wash it. Just let it be.

And so I do. Because I get it. I do try to keep it full of conditioner and keep the nasty tangles out. Other than that, I just let her hair do its thing. Because it's going to no matter what I try to do.

You can't help but love this kid. She's pretty much perfect, and all her flaws only compliment her personality. Every year I keep saying, four is so much better than three. Three was so much better than two. Two was obviously better than one.

It just keeps on getting better, sweeter, easier. I feel confident in her and in me. I know I'm a good, capabale, loving mom - she's my living proof. I can do this (this parenting thing) - I haven't scarred her too much. I haven't ruined her life.

Although I'm sure by the time she's fourteen, that'll be a different story.

Until then, she is my light. My ever-growing love and spirit.

 My Sidney Morgan.