my list

I'm not usually a "list" kind of person. Lists require a coherent string of thoughts that are organized and placed into some sort of numerical or chronological order for later reference. Lists imply that a person has set goals and certain numbered hopes they wish to achieve at some point in their lives. Lists, are to me, the opposite of how I view my life. I'm a very spontaneous and fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of person. If something new pops up unexpectedly and changes the entire course of my life, I do my best to just flow with it and not fight back too hard. Sometimes the chaos of my life overwhelms me and I forget where I am or how I got there. It is in this chaos that I am able to see the true beauty of a list. A list can help you find your way back to whatever place you need to be in your life. A list can give you some direction when you have none; it can give you inspiration when you need to turn your life around.

A list can be a lifesaving thing. It will coax you into trying harder, just so you can scratch off another line of your list. I'm going to share a mini-list with you now. It's a little list of 20 things I'd like to do (or do again) before I die. Sounds a little morbid? Yes, a little. I don't mean this as a bucket list kind of thing; I'm not planning on anything untimely happening. But it could - at any moment my life could be over. By making this simple little list I am reminding myself everyday to do something new, to strive forward with a courageous attitude about my life. Change happens. It's inevitable. But that's no reason you can't still accomplish all the goals you set for yourself; sure some will take longer than others. But that only makes that moment of truth seem so much sweeter in the end.

Here's my little list. I'm interested to hear some of your lists!
(These are in no particular order or arrangement)

1.Speak fluent Spanish.
2.Spend a summer in Australia.
3.Write a novel or a novel series.
4.Make biscuits from scratch.
5.Swim with manatees.
6.Open up a B&B.
7.Break a Guinness record.
8.Own a farm.
9.Bake biscuits from scratch.
10. Get married
11. Save someone’s life.
12. Finish reading the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice.
13. Learn to French-braid hair.
14. Drive cross country in my grand-daddy’s old car.
15. Skydive over the Midwest.
16. Learn to knit.
17. Visit Alaska and Hawaii.
18. Own my own LLC or small business.
19. Send my children to college.
20. Do a cartwheel.

mostly gibberish

I've been a bad, bad blogger! It's been far too many days since I updated the ole girl here, and for that I feel ashamed. But unlike most of my weekends that consist of a steady flow of time, tv and not much at all - this past weekend was fast paced and very go, go, GO! Let me put it this way: usually I fill my car up on Friday after work, and I don't have to fill it back up until the following Friday. I filled up Friday, today is Monday, and I'm already down to 1/4 of a tank. It's been CRAZY. And by crazy I mean FUN.

Graduation was wonderful - all except for the fact that I graduated with my cap on backwards and NOBODY TOLD ME. Well, almost nobody told me. I got two feet from the stage in front of the entire crowd, and my dad starts giving me the "backwards" signal. Nice, real nice. I'm probably the only person at MECC to graduate with their cap turned the wrong way: that looks real smart, doesn't it? I feel so edumacated.

All in all, the weekend was fabulous. I'd write more on it, but honestly I'm too tired to even think. As if the weekend wasn't enough of a whirlwind, I decided that last night around 10:00 was the perfect time to start reading Eclipse. STUPID! See, that college degree does not protect a person from retarded late-night reading decisions! My professors lied to me!!! :) I stayed up until around 1:30 or so - I had to make myself put the book down and go to sleep! So, right now, I'm running on Sprite for sugar and Twitter for caffiene. Think it'll work? I'm doubting it.

I promise to be better and blog more coherently when I'm not in this downward slump!

i'ma graduating

As of this Friday, I will be a college graduate. THIS a.k.a. MY LIFE is nowhere near what I thought it'd be at the time of my graduation. I never once imagined it'd take me three years to get at a two-year degree. I never once imagined I'd look out into the crowd on graduation day and see my toddler daughter looking back at me. I would've never dreamt I'd be on the edge of getting married with a baby already here and only an Associates degree to hang on the wall of our 1970s trailer. THIS is not at all how I pictured my life to look like come graduation time.

BUT this is my life. And I love it. In the few short years since my high-school graduation my life has done a 180. I am a completely different person with completely different goals for myself. Is that a bad thing? Absolutely not. Sometimes I feel bad because I'm graduating with the lowest possible college degree out there. More than likely, I won't be graduating with honors. Having a baby in the middle of a semester kind of kills your G.P.A. This graduation looks nothing like my first; I was almost in the top 10 of my class, and I did graduate with honors. I realize those cords around my neck won't make or break me, and I should be incredibly proud of myself for coming this far (and believe me, I am). It's just a different feeling this time-around. I think it's all because I'm a parent now; my feelings are always complicated and messy and never complete. As much as I want to feel sorry for myself for being such an example of education, I'm too proud of myself for making it this far and setting a good example for no one other than my daughter. At the same time, I can't feel overjoyed because I know that I didn't do 110% to the best of my ability.

I am proud of myself. I am so happy to be getting this degree on Friday. And who knows, my grades from this semester might be stellar enough to push my GPA back up into honors territory. No matter what, though, I am going to hold my head high and walk across that stage Friday happy to be a college graduate. Even if it's not how I imaged it'd be. Even though my audience is a little bigger (if only one bigger) than I expected. I am so happy to have made it to this point in my life, and I cannot wait to keep pushing further and reach all of my education goals...for me, for my family and especially for SidMo.

vacation: all I ever wanted

You cannot begin to imagine how stoked I am to be going to Florida at the end of May! I have been wanting to go on a vacation for so long now. I want to go somewhere I don't normally go, and Florida is definitely that place! I haven't been in YEARS, and I've only ever been about three times in my entire life. I'm so excited, you don't even comprehend.

I get to take this amazing vacay with my bestest buddies Dobby & Miranda - and BIG FUN: SidMo is coming, too! I'm so excited to take her to the beach, even though I know she'll probably be terrified and she won't be able to remember her first time to the beach. I have this issue about memories for Sidney; it's like I want her "first time" for everything to be super-special and for everyone to be present to bear witness to her new findings. I feel a little guilty that her sweet Daddy can't come with us, but knowing him - he'd much rather take her to the beach when she's at an age where she'll love every second of it and can actually remember the trip entirely. So as much as I am excited, I'm also a little sad he can't tag along, too.

I'm also really REALLY nervous about taking SidMo on a plane; our flight is only supposed to last about an hour, but the mere thought of being cooped up in a tiny space with a potentially horrid toddler is terrifying!!! I've been asking people on twitter and cafemom to lend me their opinions and give me all the tips/tricks they know for traveling on a plane with a toddler. If you've got anything to share, please feel free to do so! I want to make this plane ride as smooth as possible for my little one - if she starts having problems with her ears like I've had so many times in the past, I'm pretty sure I'll just collapse right there on the plane from misery. I can't stand the thought of her poor ears hurting and me being helpless with nothing to do for her!

Other than those mixed emotions of nervousness, excitement and sadness I'm rip roaring and ready to go! Florida is going to be hot and humid and breezy and fun: and I absolutely cannot wait to soak up that summer sun by the beach!!!

puppy update

As of this past Saturday, the puppies are now three weeks old. They're living outside now, full-time in the pen. Minnie can get in and out freely, but we've set it up so they can't escape. Their little milk teeth are starting to come in, so the weening will begin soon. Mom has this crazy recipe for what we call "gravy"; it's some combination of goat milk, eggs, Karo syrup and God only knows what else. They seem to love it; and it fattens them up like little butterballs. We line the pen with cedar shavings; it makes the puppies smell amazing. That'd be my one tip for other dog breeders or for people who have to pen their dogs up outside for any reason - line their pens with cedar shavings! You will NOT regret it; it's worth every penny!

Justin & I had been thinking about keeping one of the puppies for ourselves; this makes the second go-around we've had with the puppy debate. He wants a "hunting dog" and he thinks a Basset would be a good choice; I know better than that. The only thing a Basset is going to "hunt" is the couch, the food bowl and the belly rub. Other than that, they're pretty much useless. These puppies aren't any better, I'm afraid. They love to be loved on! Sidney doesn't have the loveliest touch when it comes to playing with the puppies, but she tries. She's like a little mama duck always keeping her babies huddled together. They tolerate her for now; in a couple weeks it will be on like donkey kong! She'll be at the mercy of a Basset Hound brigade!

I took some pics of SidMo and the puppies; they were too adorable not to share. You have to admit, they're pretty darn cute! (SidMo's not too bad either...)






















Sometimes words aren't enough. The cuteness just has to speak for itself!