This is my 91st post this year - which is pretty pathetic compared to 2009 when I published a grand total of 279 blog posts. Ummm....I definitely don't think I'll be hitting that benchmark this year! For the most part, my post numbers have been declining steadily each year - and this year, they took a MAJOR drop.
And that's okay. Life has been majorly busy this year, and if I'm being totally honest with myself, it's only going to get busier next year. And the year after that. I'm in this wonderful time of babies, and unfortunately, there have been a lot of things that have fallen by the wayside due to the demands having a family.
I struggle almost daily with the guilt over being a terrible friend to my closest buddies. I rarely ever get to see them, fail miserably at calling or texting them, and pretty much just stink overall at being a friend. I want to be a good friend, and I hope my lady friends know I'm here for them even if I haven't been present every single day.
I wish there were more hours in a day for time with my husband. Or even just time with my little family altogether. I wouldn't mind some "me" time, too.
And we do carve out little spaces of time for these things. I'm not whining or complaining in the least, just recognizing that having a big family is demanding and time-consuming. I love it, I really truly do - things are always full and bustling and there's never a dull moment, it seems. In between the chaos, there are moments of peace + bliss, and I appreciate those moments 1,000x more than I ever did before there were three kids pulling at my pant-leg.
This blog is precious to me - I love it dearly and hope to always have it be a placeholder in my life, a space for me to keep up with myself and my life. It's my online diary for the world to read, and while I don't share everything about my life, I share a great deal of it - a lot of things I would have forgotten about in natural time are preserved here forevermore.
And while the stories may be fewer, and the spaces between those stories may get farther and farther apart, the point of it all is to keep writing, keep documenting the moments when I can. And knowing, I'll never regret one single post here, ever.
Mary Ruth, I too had 4 kids but I was never the great Mom you are. I loved it when they were little. But as they got older I never had enough time for just me & I got crabby. Larry talked me into finishing school & that helped alot. Don't neglect your friends; if you can get together at least once a month, it helps keep you sane. Love you! Ms. Dottie Hooks
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