let today be a good day

To say it was one helluva weekend would be quite the understatement.

It was a nightmare. Where to begin? Friday was as busy as could be at work. The phone rang off the hook, papers were flying everywhere and life was beyond chaotic. The mood at the office was pretty dark due to the fact that a local woman had recently passed away unexpectedly and we all knew her in one way or another. Her wake was Friday night, so we all had to rush home to change after work and then rush off to the funeral home. Luckily, Mom kept SidMo Friday night so I was able to go home and collapse without the added checklist of chasing after her.

Saturday was pretty bad, too. Justin and I had a pretty good row that morning/afternoon. We haven't fought like that in a long time and I hope we don't have to fight like that again for the rest of the year. I'm not a good person to fight with. I cry and I can never get my words right. It's pretty ugly - and he's not exactly Mr. Diplomatic when it comes to our fights. He's a damned good fighter. He knows how to cut to the quick and he knows where to hurt me. But we've been fighting together for almost six years now. I've learned to separate what he's actually saying from what he actually means. You'd think he'd be able to do the same from me, but I'm chalking that one up to him being "male" and well...you know the rest of that gene-pool story.

Sunday was better - actually it got better Saturday night. But Sunday was pretty decent, minus the fact that we had to visit relatives who were aching. Justin's uncle recently lost his wife in an unfortunate car accident - he (Justin's uncle) was pretty shook up about it, as is expected. Everyone deals with grief in their own private (or public) ways. I have learned never to knock the way a person handles themself when faced with uncertain and altogether horrible situations. I can't imagine being in that situation. I pray and hope and wish that I am never in that situation.

Justin and I kept that conversation on repeat on the way home:

"I hope I never have to deal with something like that..."
"I can't imagine losing you like that..."
"Just be careful, dammit. Just wear your freaking seat belt, okay?"
"There's only one thing worse than losing your love..."
"Don't even go there-"

So yeah, needless to say despite all our bickering Saturday we forgave and forgot real quick on Sunday. I hate that it takes death to appreciate life, but so it is. We hugged each other a little tighter and spoke to each other just a little nicer. We should remember to do that always but we don't and I know we won't. It will always take miracles or catastrophes to bring us back to the center again - we will always have to be kicked hard to remember to love each other outwardly as much as we do inwardly.

Somewhere in all that chaos there was also a birthday party, a hellacious storm that lasted all of Saturday night and most of Sunday, moving (wet) furniture and cleaning house among other little tidbits. This coming weekend, SidMo and I are traveling with Mom to Gatlinburg for a little R&R. I can't wait. Honestly, I CANNOT WAIT. I feel bad for Justin because he hasn't been anywhere this summer, but I'm hoping if I plan a good enough honeymoon for us, he'll be okay with the fact that Sidney and I have been everywhere (Florida, Williamsburg, and now G-burg). I'm just hoping for a sane work-week and safe travels this weekend. I hope that for me and for you - remember to wear your damn seat belt, okay?!

**PS please check out MckMama's blog and support her beautiful boy Stellan. It's been a wild ride on Twitter this morning and I'm hoping he pulls through. Lord knows after the heartbreak we all shared over Maddie, we could use a miracle for little Stellan.