rock me momma, any way you will

The Art of Baby-Rocking
December 18th, 2008

to some of you out there, this will make about as much sense as a NASA shuttle mission codebook - but to some of you out there, I'm sure you'll just "get it".
my daughter hasn't let me rock her to sleep since she was about 6 months old. that may not sound like such a big deal - but realize this: for the first 6 months, she DID let me rock her; as in, I got used to being able to rock my child to sleep knowing that she was being comforted by my presence, my movements, the sound of my voice, etc. by allowing me to rock her, she was in fact rocking me - she was giving me the opportunity to spend precious, sweet time with her moments before she drifted off to sleep. there's nothing quite as magical as rocking a baby to sleep - it's the biggest feeling of pride and accomplishment you can have as a first-time mother, believe me.

so when she hit 6 months and decided she no longer needed the rocking, it was like someone taking away my crack cocaine. I went into withdrawl - at first I was glad to be rid of all the rocking; it became easier to put her to sleep, it gave me more free time. but after a little while, I missed it. I still miss it to this very day & that's been over 9 months ago.

well, last night - I got to rock my daughter to sleep for the first time in a very damned long time. people: hear this. there is nothing sweeter than feeling this warm, mushy baby all bundled up on your chest. there is nothing sweeter than bending your head down into a curly mane of hair that deliciously reeks of Johnson's baby shampoo (isn't that the greatest smell in the world?). there is absolutely nothing sweeter than looking down and seeing a baby with binky-face (you know, how the binky smashes up their cheeks & gets all slobbery and pink?). there is nothing in this entire whole wide world sweeter than putting your baby to sleep, to peaceful easy sleep, by using your body & voice.

I swear - this morning I feel like superwoman all over again. I feel absolutely recharged and alive. my wonderful daughter knew I was feeling over-stressed and under-loved, so she gave me the greatest gift she ever could: the gift of love. she let me feel important and needed again. I know this will only grow stronger over time - her pulling away from me, letting me know that she doesn't need me around so much anymore. but I hope she always has the ability to step back, realize momma needs some loving, and be a "baby" for 20 minutes for me - because believe you me, even at 15 months, this child is a grown woman. she's independent. she's vocal. she's a big kid.

but everyone now & then it's nice to see that sweet little baby she once was creep out & say hello to her momma. thank heavens for little ones - how did I ever survive without her?