In our version of Titanic, nobody dies

Justin and I like to watch movies where the endings don't always work out, and then re-imagine how things might've turned out if we were in that exact situation. Take for example: Titanic. Whenever we watch Titanic, we mostly laugh (even though I know we shouldn't) because there are a million chances that pass by that no one does anything productive to save their own skin.

Justin always says he'd start making his own raft out of anything and everything he could find once the ship started sinking. But he's just crafty like that. My game plan would be to go with the Dory from Finding Nemo approach: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." I wouldn't stay still in the water waiting for someone to come back and pick me up. Yes, both of our plans have serious flaws but hey - that's how we roll. We're thinking on our toes here. What's your excuse?

No matter how much we plot and plan and try to convince the people in the movie to GET SMART and DO SOMETHING about their situation, they always go into the water unprepared and not many of them survive (maybe, just maybe someday we'll be able to rewrite the ending of Titanic for them all and more than six people will survive)! Every stinking time those brave souls hit the water, I can feel the air in the room getting tighter. I know what's going to be coming in just a few minutes. As soon as Jack and Rose find each other again, Justin's starts his tirade:

"Oh, come over here honey. See where I parked the piece of wood for us? There's 1,500 people out here struggling to survive BUT NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE MY PIECE OF WOOD THAT I PARKED RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!!"

And then when they try to hoist themselves up on said piece of wood the conversation goes like this, starting with me:

"TRY AGAIN! TRY AGAIN! YOU ONLY TRIED ONCE!"
"He's got enough common sense to know the ship will suck them under the water when it goes down, but he ain't smart enough to know you have to get up on the wood from opposite sides?! COME ON, MAN!"
"JUST TRY AGAIN, DAMMIT! PLEASE, TRY AGAIN!"

You have to realize we're screaming at the TV and each other and all the while our child is running amuck somewhere in all of this. Lord only knows how we'll warp her mind with all our crazy TV back-talking (among a million other crazy things we do).

The best part of the whole Titanic experience came at the end of the movie when SidMo, undoubtedly aroused by all of our screaming, became sucked into the movie as much as we were. When Rose drops the "heart of the ocean" back into the water, Sidney started freaking out! Her TV tirade went something like this:

"UH-OH! UH-OH!!! MOM-MOM, UH-OH!!!!"

That's our girl. You tell 'em honey. They just don't know how to make movies, do they? Maybe someday she'll be out there in Hollywood and she can re-write the ending of all the movies Justin and I don't agree with. And then when she's at the Oscars accepting her directorial award, she can look into the audience and say:

"This one's for you, Daddy! Who says everyone had to die at the end of Titanic??!!"


Because we all know men this good-looking shouldn't have to go to waste :)