cuddle up

I am not a cuddler. At all. In fact, I'm such an anti-cuddler I usually enjoy having Sidney sleep between Justin and me so that there's zero chance at cuddling. I want him on his side of the bed, under his own blanket, using his own pillow. I don't want his arm on me or his leg flopped over on me (which he *loves* to do) or him spooning me.

No, I want none of that. Call me crazy, it's okay. But I'll wear the "no cuddling" badge proudly, seeing as how I'm probably one of the only girls in the world that despises cuddling....

99% of the time.

There are some nights, however, where the only place I want to be is wrapped up with my husband. I want his body to form to mine and our hands and legs to be twisted in so many ways he becomes me and I become him. For our noses to be touching, our breathing to become rhythmic. There are some nights, once in a blue moon, when I want to be a cuddler. It doesn't happen often, but the nights it does, my husband always obliges (I think he's a serial closet cuddler).

Last night was one of those nights. Sidney was gone for the night, I came home late (after watching Eclipse again), and Justin was already asleep in bed. Maybe it was the silly romantic movie or the idea of actually sleeping alone in our bed together, but I was lovedrunk. I wanted to cuddle. And cuddle we did.

And it was the sweetest.

(source)

Sometimes I feel weird talking about my relationship with Justin with you all. It's easier to talk about parenting and Sidney, but I feel like I'm toeing this precious line with what I share about my marriage. Shouldn't that be backwards? I should feel more wary about what I share about my child, right? Maybe it's because at this point, I know Sidney and I won't ever have a conversation about what I wrote on my blog today. And sometimes Justin sends me text messages or starts a conversation with, "don't put this on your blog, okay?".

But he never said I couldn't talk about the cuddling. And oh, the cuddling.