don't do this me, Johnny Depp!

I've mentioned it on Twitter before, but it's really starting to scare me how much my beloved Johnny Depp is starting to look more and more like Mickey Rourke every day. And quite frankly, it breaks my heart and scares the sh*t out of me simultaneously! I want to let out a silent but giant 'NOOOOOOOO!' right now just thinking about it!!! My adorable, scruffy, tattoo-displaying, dimples with that smile, toussled hair, gorgeous voice Johnny Depp - how can this be happening to you?

What further solidifies my total freak-out is that fact that I recently watched 9 1/2 weeks for the first time a few nights ago, and OMG! Mickey R. was a fox back in the day! How did I not know this? And how did something so handsome turn into something so ugly?! I'm serious here, people....

From this:

To this:

I mean, I sort of get it - times are hard. You fall out of the spotlight. You battle your demons. And time takes it's sweet revenge on your face and body. But seriously? There's no reason he should look that bad, no matter the circumstances.

And the fact that my sweet J. Depp has started showing up to places like this:

O, how it makes me want to cry! :( Where is my sexy leading man? Where is my handsome, devlish swash-buckling pirate who looks so good whether he's playing Jack, Edward or Roux? Honestly, where is this guy:

O Holy Night - he's a hottie!

Well, no matter how Johnny Depp ages, at least I can take a little comfort in the fact that he once was beautiful. He may be able to turn around the tide and age a little more gracefully than before. But seriously - looking like Mickey Rourke may have been a complement way back when, but in today's world? It's not a pretty picture.

Not as pretty as this is, for instance:

sigh, swoon and thud

Drink him up, me hearties. Yo ho, indeed!