missing the early months

There are times I miss the little squishy baby she used to be. I miss the neck rolls and the gummy mouth chewing on my fingers. I miss the squirmy legs kicking and the way she'd look at new things with wide-eyes and wonder. I miss little things, like the way her butt used to feel in in my hand, molded by a soft blanket. I love me some baby butt.

I miss the paci imprints on her face, the messy way she'd eat oatmeal or blueberry delight baby food. I miss her falling asleep in her jumper. I even miss her screaming fits, the crying and the whining.

There are so many things I miss about the baby that Sidney used to be. She was so funny, even at an early age. Her big smile and that wild mess of curls - you couldn't help but smile every time you looked at her.

One of the funniest things in the world was to watch her poop. She'd crawl off to a quiet corner and push, her face getting red and her eyes tearing up. You always knew when a stinky diaper was coming - it's the only time she was ever quiet as church mice.

It's been such a journey to watch her grow these last couple of years. She's changed so much over the past few months especially, I feel like I need to take a thousand pictures of her a day or else I'll miss something. One thing that's never changed, though, is that smile. That light-up-the-world, full of innocence, pure joy smile she has. It's mesmerizing.

I will always be grateful for this little girl. She made me into the woman I am now, the woman I continue to grow and be. She is such a joy, even during these trivial toddler years. Even in my weakest moments, where I feel like the choices I have made have been wrong, she is there to remind me that I am on the right path. I am lucky enough to be the mother of such a wonderful child. She constantly proves to me that I lost nothing but gained everything by becoming a young mother. She's the girl that made me into a woman, plain and simple, honest and true, forevermore and after.