weekend worrier

needless to say I had an amazing weekend! it was equal parts fun & relaxation & it was exactly what I needed :) I won't go into big details, but let's just say I've never had that much fun at the Hog in my entire life - the people outside are 10x better than the people on the inside!

I did realize one big thing this weekend - and that's the concept of "worry". any time I go anywhere, I always let my mom know where I'm going and what time I should be back. if I'm not near that estimation, then she'll call me to check on me. now, some people might find that annoying - the thought of your mother always knowing where you're at & who you're with. but it doesn't bother me: she doesn't judge who I'm with, she just wants to know where I am. and most of the time, the only purpose that serves is to ease her mind and let her worry less. but there might come a day when I need someone to know where I should be at a certain time - and when I don't show up somewhere, they'll immediately start looking for me. as crazy as times are these days, it's nice to know that I've got a watchful eye keeping me guarded. again, this concept might totally freak people out, but I'm comforted by it.

and I want to instill this in Sidney as well - to always let me know where she's going, who she's going with - what time she thinks she'll be back home. I don't want to know out of simple curiosity. I want to know because there will be a night many years from now when I'm sitting in my house somewhere, watching the clock & waiting for her to get home after a night out on the town. and if she's a little late, I'll understand. but if hours go by & I haven't seen or heard from her, then I'll immediately know where to start looking for her: I'll have a jumping off point. and god forbid this situation ever happen, I'll be able to tell the police "she was here at such and such time. she said she was going there and she'd be home at this time..." I don't think that makes me a bad, nosy mother to want that information from her. and I feel guilty if I ever made my Mom worry by not giving her that info. I know I've done it - and I can only imagine how incredibly worried she was about me at times.

so, yes, I had an amazing night with my amazing friends - and I kept my Mom in the loop so she didn't have to worry about me. I've learned that when you become a parent, you never really feel emotions 100%. sure, I was so excited to get a night out to be the 20 year old kid I am - but I was also guilty for leaving my SidMo. as much as I wanted to be out having fun, I also wanted to be snuggled up at home with her. at least if I was home, I wouldn't have to worry about her! maybe that's what I'll do - I'll just block up the house & stay inside with my kid 24/7...

then again....hell no - sometimes Momma needs a drink!

hope ya'll had a good weekend, too! :)